The Trump Presidency Timeline
Documenting the chaos since day one. 3287 entries and counting.
oil at $126 as admiral bone spurs blockades the global economy

The Strait of Hormuz, where global energy flows and Donald Trump’s ego go to collide head-on.
Source: theguardian.com
trump doj responds to assassination attempt by deregulating guns, of course

Acting Attorney General Todd Blanche explains that the real way to stop gun violence is to make sure nobody has to pass a background check ever again.
The Trump Justice Department took one look at an armed man allegedly trying to storm the White House Correspondents’ Dinner and kill the president and thought: you know what this country needs? fewer gun rules. So Acting Attorney General Todd Blanche rolled out more than 30 changes to federal gun regulations, headlined by a move to kill a 2024 Biden rule that finally tried to close the gun show loophole by forcing more sellers to run background checks.
Blanche bragged this was the “most comprehensive regulatory reform package” in ATF history, which is a poetic way of saying they’re helping unlicensed dealers keep shoveling guns into the stream of commerce without anyone asking awkward questions like, “Hey, are you legally allowed to own that AR-15?” Gun control groups noted that dismantling basic safeguards four days after gunfire at a presidential event is less “public safety” and more “Darwin Awards, federal edition.”
To really sell the bit, the rollback package was signed just after the Senate confirmed Robert Cekada as ATF director — only the third confirmed chief since 2006. So ATF finally gets a permanent leader and, as a reward, the administration starts yanking out the agency’s regulatory teeth while praising its heroic work taking illegal guns off the street. Conservatives spend decades turning ATF into a political punching bag, then Trumpworld uses it as a prop while quietly making sure the gun lobby never has a bad day again.
Source: nbcnews.com
trump tries to swap in 'the united states' as the defendant, court laughs in legal

Trump, pondering which constitutional clause says 'the government pays my defamation bills when I insult my alleged assault victim.'
The 2nd Circuit just told Donald Trump he cannot, in fact, hand the bill for his $83 million E. Jean Carroll defamation verdict to "The United States" like it's a corporate Amex. In a split decision, the court rejected his request for a full en banc do-over, with Judge Denny Chin politely noting that literally no other defendant gets to wander in fifteen months after losing at trial and say, "Actually, make the taxpayers the defendant." Revolutionary stuff: presidents don't get a punch card for unlimited immunity every time they open their mouths.
Undeterred, Trump's legal team responded with its usual legal brief in all caps: it's "Liberal Lawfare," a "Democrat-funded travesty," and of course a "Witch Hunt"—because nothing says "strong legal argument" like accusing your rape accuser of being too unattractive to assault and then demanding the Justice Department defend you as part of your "official duties." E. Jean Carroll, who has been dragging this case through the courts since 2019, would simply like to finally get justice, while a three-judge minority on the court would like to expand presidential immunity so far that defaming alleged sexual-assault victims becomes a constitutional perk of the office.
Judge Chin helpfully reminded everyone that Trump didn't just "respond" once to Carroll's accusation; he spent years calling her a liar chasing money and politics, all while insisting she was beneath his assaulting standards—an argument so vile it somehow got turned into an immunity claim. Now the path is clear for Trump to beg the Supreme Court to rescue him, as he simultaneously appeals another Carroll case where he already got hit for $5 million. The man who ran on "I alone can fix it" is now arguing "The entire United States must pay for it." Bold platform.
Source: nbcnews.com
revisiting the time trump tried to turn the fbi into his personal mob crew

James Comey, moments before discovering that "independent law enforcement" is not a concept in the Trump HR manual.
Instead of a normal civics lesson, we got the pilot episode of "How to Undermine a Democracy in 10 Easy Tweets," featuring a president publicly attacking his own law enforcement agencies, demanding loyalty oaths, and treating criminal investigations like PR problems. The interview plays now like a prequel to the firing, the Mueller probe, and the years-long Republican hobby of calling the FBI a corrupt leftist cabal while simultaneously demanding it throw their enemies in jail. Separation of powers? Cute idea. Shame what happened to it.
The archive label is doing a lot of work here: it’s marketed as history, but it doubles as an instructional video on how to normalize authoritarian behavior by talking about it in the calm, even tones of Sunday news shows. Trump’s "law and order" brand turns out — shockingly — to have meant his law, your order, and an FBI director whose main crime was refusing to act like Michael Cohen with a badge.
Source: nbcnews.com
trump uses moon heroes as backdrop for killing the voting rights act

Trump congratulates Artemis astronauts on their courage while openly rooting for the Supreme Court to crater the Voting Rights Act, proving the only atmosphere he wants to thin is around American democracy.
Source: theguardian.com
congress renews spy buffet, tells fourth amendment to try again later

Speaker Mike Johnson poses in front of a giant flag, moments before helping extend the government’s favorite warrant-optional eavesdropping program. Freedom imagery sold separately.
Source: npr.org
the doj vs. the seashell menace

James Comey arrives at federal court to answer for the most dangerous weapon in American politics: an Instagram of seashells that hurt Donald Trump’s feelings.
Source: theguardian.com
hegseth discovers the real enemy: people who notice the iran war is a disaster

Pete Hegseth explains that the war is going great, the $25 billion tab is a bargain, the school bombing was just one of those wacky war oopsies, and the only real enemy is anyone impolite enough to notice.
Pete Hegseth went to Congress to ask for a casual $1.5 trillion war budget and somehow discovered that the real threat to America isn’t Iran, or a spiraling US-Israel war, or even the $25 billion already burned through in two months – it’s members of Congress who say out loud that this looks like a quagmire. The defense secretary told the House armed services committee that the "biggest adversary" the US faces is the "reckless, feckless and defeatist" rhetoric of Democrats (and a few Republicans), because nothing says "robust democracy" like declaring domestic critics more dangerous than the country you’re bombing.
Two months into a war Trump promised would last four to six weeks, Hegseth is now calling it an "existential fight" and proudly invoking Vietnam, Iraq and Afghanistan as the gold standard of staying too long in unwinnable conflicts. When Rep. John Garamendi dared to use the word "quagmire" and mention the "astounding incompetence" that produced yet another Middle East disaster, Hegseth lost it and accused him of handing propaganda to the enemy. Meanwhile, Trump is posting AI-generated Rambo fanfic of himself with the caption "NO MORE MR. NICE GUY" and threatening an open-ended naval blockade, because nothing reassures the world like a septuagenarian dictator cosplayer with a meme folder and a carrier group.
On the money front, Pentagon CFO Jules Hurst III revealed the meter is already at an estimated $25 billion – mostly munitions and replacing equipment, i.e., great news for defense contractors and absolutely no one else. Hegseth and Republican chair Mike Rogers framed the 50–60% budget increase as simply "the true cost of American deterrence" and sweetened it with a "historic" 7% pay bump for the lowest enlisted, the traditional move where you tape a small raise to a giant check for Raytheon and call it patriotism. Ranking Democrat Adam Smith, not yet fully absorbed into the Forever War cult, asked whether this tidal wave of cash will be squandered and why the US is diplomatically isolated while Trump is busy insulting allies’ leaders and their spouses mid-conflict.
Then there’s the part where a US strike hit a school in Minab, killing at least 168 people, most of them children. Two months later, Hegseth is finally under oath and the best the administration can manage is: "We made a mistake and that happens in war," followed by complete radio silence that, as Smith noted, made it look like the US "just don’t care." When Hegseth bragged that Iran’s nuclear facilities had been "obliterated," Smith pointed out that if the threat was "imminent" and now it’s gone but Iran still hasn’t abandoned its ambitions, then Operation Midnight Hammer accomplished precisely nothing – aside from dead kids, billions burned, and another open-ended war the White House is very proud of.
Source: theguardian.com
epa now proudly stands for ‘every polluter accommodated’

EPA chief Lee Zeldin proudly surveys the smokestacks, confident the free market will filter the air using the power of positive thinking.
Source: npr.org
washington's premier nerd prom adds live ammo

Secret Service recruitment poster, but make it influencer-core: armed to the teeth, hotel mirror, zero functioning institutions in sight.
Source: bbc.com
trump breaks nato so europe has to read the fine print

EU foreign policy chief Kaja Kallas arrives at the summit where Europe’s new security strategy is: hope Trump forgets the nuclear codes and focus on writing a handbook.
After 77 years of U.S. security guarantees, Europe has discovered a terrifying new reality: Donald Trump reads NATO like he reads contracts – as something to ignore, shred, or use as a coaster. He’s "absolutely" considering pulling the U.S. out of NATO, called it a "paper tiger," attacked Iran without warning his supposed allies, demanded they help anyway, and then branded them "cowards" when they declined to clean up his mess. Also on this season of American World Leadership: he literally threatened to invade Greenland, prompting Denmark to quietly prep for war and send explosives and blood bags to the island, which is not normally how you treat your closest ally.
So now EU leaders are frantically dusting off Article 42.7 of the EU treaty – their own mutual defence clause – the way you rummage through a junk drawer for a warranty after your house burns down. It technically says EU states must help each other "by all the means in their power," which on paper sounds stronger than NATO’s Article 5. In practice, as Ursula von der Leyen helpfully notes, no one has the faintest idea who does what, when, or how. The bloc is urgently writing a "blueprint" and a "handbook" for what to do if someone actually invokes it, because nothing inspires confidence like discovering your emergency plan is currently a group Google Doc labeled "DRAFTv3final_FINAL".
Cyprus – helpfully not even in NATO – got buzzed by suspected Hezbollah drones, one of which hit the UK’s RAF Akrotiri base, and still didn’t dare pull the 42.7 fire alarm because it’s so vaguely defined that it might just summon a sternly worded press release. France is the only country that’s ever triggered it, after the 2015 terror attacks, and even then what they mostly got was some troop-rotation help and extra intelligence sharing. Now Emmanuel Macron and other EU leaders are saying this clause has to become "more than words" because the doubt hanging over NATO’s Article 5 wasn’t created by Russia – it was gift-wrapped and hand-delivered by the sitting U.S. president.
Poland’s Donald Tusk, historically one of Washington’s biggest fans, is now openly asking whether the U.S. would actually honor its NATO pledge if Russia attacked – which is the diplomatic equivalent of saying: "Look, we love you, but would you push the button or just tweet about it?" Europe is belatedly realizing that when you hand your security to a country currently run by a man who treats alliances like ex-wives and golf club members, you might want a backup plan. So Brussels is scrambling to turn an obscure treaty clause into a real defense framework, while Trump and Marco Rubio wonder aloud why the U.S. even keeps bases there. American leadership: now with 100% more existential dread for our allies.
Source: theguardian.com
trump moves from 'audit the fed' to 'own the fed'

Kevin Warsh at the Fed, preparing for his new role as chair of the Trump 2026 campaign’s interest-rate division.
Source: theguardian.com
trump declares war on reality, accidentally creates a science movement

Colette Delawalla on the National Mall, bravely advocating for the controversial idea that cancer research should matter more than Trump’s feelings about pronouns.
Source: theguardian.com
history, but make it fascist tailgate merch

AI George Washington, resurrected against his will to endorse PragerU’s Freedom Truck, stares into the middle distance wondering at what point in the Constitution he accidentally authorized this.
Source: theguardian.com
musk starts a maga franchise in westminster, pays influencers in pounds and brainworms

Rupert Lowe, proudly demonstrating that in the age of Musk, you don’t need Russian bots when you can just get a direct debit from the algorithm.
Source: theguardian.com
democracy under the knife: mid-decade gerrymander-palooza

A tasteful infographic of democracy being sliced into safe seats, courtesy of your friendly neighborhood state legislature.
Source: theguardian.com
trump cures disease by firing the people who detect it

The CDC, bravely fighting infectious disease with Excel deletions and politically edited PDFs.
Back in 1981, a dry little CDC bulletin called the Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report quietly spotted the first AIDS cases and helped launch a global public health response. Forty-odd years later, the Trump brain trust has solved that pesky "early warning" problem by taking a sledgehammer to the very systems that made that detection possible. Why have independent science when you can have Robert F. Kennedy Jr. and a Telegram group thread?
The administration has axed the entire National Science Board — the congressionally created, stagger-term body specifically designed so no single president could hijack basic research funding. They did it by email, of course, like firing a barista who kept over-pouring the cold brew. At the same time, they nuked the long-standing vaccine advisory committee, stacked it with people who barely know which end of the syringe is which, slashed the childhood vaccine schedule from 17 diseases to 11, and then hastily rewrote its charter to focus on vaccine "harm" once a federal judge pointed out that maybe your national immunization policy shouldn’t be run like a Facebook comments section.
Meanwhile, the CDC has quietly stopped publishing nearly half of its routine surveillance databases — and, what do you know, almost all of the missing ones are about vaccination. MMWR itself killed a peer-reviewed Covid vaccine effectiveness paper after it cleared scientific review, because the acting CDC director suddenly discovered a problem with a study design the journal literally used the week before. The agencies still exist on paper, like a Potemkin village of public health, but the insulation between science and politics has been stripped out so thoroughly you can see the wires sparking.
The result: doctors are now making life-or-death decisions with less data than they had a decade ago, while the White House congratulates itself for bravely standing up to the tyranny of numbers. The message is clear: if reality conflicts with Trump’s politics, reality gets defunded, fired, or edited out of the journal. The buildings will still say CDC and NSF on the front door, but what’s happening inside is just another branch of the campaign’s PR shop. Who needs an early warning system when you can just declare victory over disease and move on?
Source: theguardian.com
supreme court to decide if 'temporary' means 'until trump feels racist again'

Supreme Court building, now offering same-day service on stripping rights from people who did everything legally.
The Trump administration is back in court asking the conservative supermajority to help them finish the job of turning "temporary protected status" into "don’t unpack, you’re deported." After already greenlighting the removal of TPS for more than 300,000 Venezuelans on the shadow docket, the supreme court will now hear whether the White House can also yank protections from Syrians and Haitians — people the U.S. government itself previously declared couldn’t safely go home because of war, state collapse, and disasters.
Nearly 1.3 million people started Trump’s second term with TPS. The administration has spent the year trying to rip that away from 13 countries, including Afghanistan, Honduras, Yemen, and others, while deadpanning that Syria is moving toward “stable institutional governance” and Haiti has “no extraordinary and temporary conditions” — a bold claim, given the raging gang violence and state failure currently happening there in real time. Kristi Noem, moonlighting as a geopolitical visionary, apparently believes that if you just say "it’s fine" enough times, civil war and organized crime politely disappear.
Haitian and Syrian TPS holders have sued, and their cases are now consolidated before the same court that’s been treating immigrant lives like administrative clutter. If the justices side with Trump again, analysts expect the administration to go for the full set and dismantle TPS everywhere — turning a 1990 humanitarian safeguard into yet another tool for legalized cruelty dressed up as policy. The message to people who followed the rules, built lives, and paid taxes is simple: your safety is temporary, but this government’s appetite for deportation is permanent.
Source: theguardian.com
president for life, but make it a primary

Thomas Massie, apparently under the mistaken impression that Congress is supposed to be independent of the guy rage-posting from the Oval Office.
The White House has apparently merged with the RNC to launch the 2026 "Revenge Tour," where President Donald Trump spends his time not governing but hunting down Republicans whose crime was momentary independent thought. Kentucky, Indiana, and Louisiana are the first stops on this rolling purge, with Trump trying to kneecap anyone who crossed him on redistricting, impeachment, or the unforgivable sin of wanting Jeffrey Epstein files released. Policy differences? No, this is about loyalty, tribute, and making sure everyone knows who owns the party.
Trump advisers are remarkably candid: they don't love the "revenge tour" branding, but they’re very clear that Republicans who don’t "stand up for his agenda" get politically executed. Rep. Thomas Massie, who dared oppose Trump’s "big, beautiful" deficit explosion and pushed for Epstein transparency, is now the main target, with a Trump-built political machine recruiting a Navy SEAL just so the president can settle a personal score. Massie openly says colleagues are afraid to vote against Trump because they don’t want to be next, but sure, we definitely still have three branches of government and not one man and his fan club.
In Indiana, Trump is backing primary challengers against state senators who wouldn’t rig redistricting hard enough for his taste. In Louisiana, he’s trying to oust Sen. Bill Cassidy for the high crime of voting to convict him after January 6. Outside groups, super PACs like MAGA KY, and Republican Jewish Coalition money are all being marshaled to send a nice clear message: cross the Dear Leader, lose your job. Massie, hilariously, frames his own survival as the test of whether we still have a functioning legislative branch. When that’s the bar for American democracy in 2026, things are going spectacularly well.
Source: nbcnews.com
trump’s deportation circus spawns a booming scam economy

Artist’s rendering of Trump’s immigration system: a guy in a knockoff uniform on WhatsApp takes your money, and the real government shows up just in time to put you on a plane.
Urbina did what the system tells people to do: fled persecution, checked in with ICE, waited for her court date, and sought what she thought was legal help. For her trouble, she was scammed out of her money, falsely told she’d "won residency," instructed to skip court, and then arrested at her ICE check-in and deported to Nicaragua in shackles. Scammed, then deported — the Trump-era version of "customer service." Meanwhile, DHS won’t answer questions about her case, New Orleans police go radio silent, and the official line is that impersonators "will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law." Sure. Any day now.
Federal Trade Commission complaints about immigration scams have doubled since Trump’s election, with at least $94.4 million reported stolen over five years — almost certainly an undercount, because nothing encourages crime reporting like a government promising mass deportations. State AGs, the ABA, and even AARP are frantically warning people not to trust WhatsApp lawyers, while USCIS sagely notes that it does not, in fact, grant residency over encrypted chat apps. But Trump’s crackdown has done what it was designed to do: create a lawless, terrorized environment where immigrants are too scared to seek help, predators cash in, and the only people the government reliably manages to locate are the victims it can deport.
Source: propublica.org