The Trump Presidency Timeline
Documenting the chaos since day one. 2124 entries and counting.
trump turns doj into the 'lock her up' fan club, again

The Department of Justice, seen here auditioning for the role of Trump’s personal legal hit squad.
The Brennan probe is tied to the intelligence community’s 2016 assessment that Russia interfered to help Donald Trump win, an analysis Trump has hated ever since it dared to be true. Now the local US attorney, Jason Reding Quiñones, is telling Main Justice an indictment may be coming soon, just as Trump has been publicly raging about the lack of prosecutions of his enemies. Pure coincidence, obviously.
Earlier this month, Trump fired attorney general Pam Bondi for failing to put enough heads on pikes and replaced her, on an "audition" basis, with acting AG Todd Blanche, who apparently understands the assignment. A former top Blanche aide has just been shipped down from DC to the Southern District of Florida to work on the Brennan matter, because if you’re going to criminalize a former CIA director for not lying about Russia, you want a loyalist who knows where the political pressure points are.
This is all part of a pattern so blatant it might as well have its own DOJ letterhead. When Trump tried to prosecute New York AG Letitia James last year, career prosecutors in Virginia balked and were fired. Now another career official expresses doubts about a transparently political case and is promptly removed from it. Rule of law has been replaced with a simpler standard: if Trump hates you, the Department of Justice will be right with you shortly.
Source: theguardian.com
ukraine politely asks america to stop doomscrolling the other war for a minute

Ukraine’s ambassador carefully explains that her country is still being invaded, while America wonders if it has the bandwidth to care about more than one catastrophic war at a time.
The subtext is loud enough to rattle NATO headquarters: with Trump back to trashing the alliance on television and Republicans treating Ukraine aid like a Fox News loyalty test, Kyiv is watching U.S. attention – and weapons – drift toward whatever crisis happens to spike oil prices this week. The ambassador’s "hope" that the Iran war ends so the world can refocus on Russia’s aggression is diplomatic code for: your superpower ADHD is going to get us all killed.
And hanging over all of this, again, is Trump’s open hostility to NATO, his long public crush on Putin, and a GOP caucus that now treats defending Ukraine as optional but defending Trump’s feelings as sacred duty. Authoritarian regimes are coordinating, democracies are pleading for focus, and the American right is busy asking whether helping a country being dismembered by Russia is really "worth it". The leopards are not just eating faces anymore; they’re drafting new borders.
Source: nbcnews.com
stephen miller’s friends help arizona ‘fix’ elections

Justin Heap, freshly empowered to restore ‘trust’ in elections by the same movement that spent four years torching it to the ground.
Maricopa County just had a judge decide which group of Republicans gets to sit closest to the election machinery, and Stephen Miller’s friends won. County recorder Justin Heap – a former GOP legislator who built a career gently fanning the ‘something’s wrong with our elections’ crowd without quite saying the magic words ‘stolen’ – sued the Republican-controlled Board of Supervisors for daring to control key election functions. The judge agreed the board had “acted unlawfully” by seizing his office’s staff, systems, and equipment, and handed Heap more authority over early voting and other operations.
The board says it’s only ever wanted to give Heap the resources he needs and that “voters always come first,” which is a fascinating way to describe a knife fight over who gets to place ballot drop boxes and run early voting in a state where MAGA conspiracy theorists have been screaming about bamboo ballots for four years. The previous recorder, Republican Stephen Richer, says Heap “catered to the really ugly stuff” and helped feed the harassment and threats aimed at the elections office. Naturally, Heap’s lawsuit arrived with the enthusiastic backing of America First Legal, the “public interest” group founded by Stephen Miller, now helpfully stationed in the White House as deputy chief of staff to make sure this kind of thing scales nationally.
So in Arizona’s largest county, the lesson is clear: whip up distrust in the election system, ride that wave into office, then use your new job – and Miller’s legal machine – to claw back more direct control over how people vote. The board is talking about an appeal, but the damage is done: the 2026 races in one of the country’s most important swing states will be run by a guy who built his brand on telling voters the system is trash, now armed with a court order and a far-right legal shop cheering from Washington. What could possibly go wrong with that for democracy.
Source: theguardian.com
trump admin defeats free speech, phd student graduates anyway

ICE agents bravely protecting America from the mortal threat of a child-development PhD who co-signed a campus op-ed.
Source: theguardian.com
ontario premier buys gravy plane to fight trump, definitely not for vibes

Doug Ford in a hat that says "CANADA IS NOT FOR SALE", shortly after billing taxpayers C$28.9 million for his personal frequent flyer program.
Source: bbc.com
senate votes to let foreign mining company eat minnesota

The Boundary Waters Canoe Area Wilderness, seen here just before Congress decided it would look better as a toxic chemistry experiment for a Chilean mining conglomerate.
The US Senate has narrowly decided that Minnesota’s Boundary Waters Canoe Area Wilderness would look much better as a sulfide mining experiment, voting 50–49 to repeal Biden’s 20-year mining moratorium so Trump can sign it and call it patriotism. The big winner isn’t Minnesotans, or the millions who visit one of America’s most beloved wilderness areas – it’s Twin Metals Minnesota, the local costume worn by Chilean mining giant Antofagasta, which is itching to drop a copper and nickel mine just a few miles from the Boundary Waters.
Democratic senator Tina Smith helpfully pointed out that this is the exact opposite of "America First": the mine is owned by a foreign company, the ore will go to Chinese state-owned smelters, and the metals will be sold on the open market. So naturally, the GOP and a bare Senate majority raced to approve it, because if there’s one thing this era stands for, it’s handing US public lands to foreign corporations and calling it supply-chain security. Two Republicans, Susan Collins and Thom Tillis, voted against turning a national treasure into a chemistry set, while Josh Hawley simply didn’t bother to vote – presumably conserving his strength for more performative outrage on television.
Environmental groups are describing this as a "dark day" for the Boundary Waters and a warning for public lands everywhere, which is polite code for "Congress just put a ‘for sale’ sign on your favorite national forest." Twin Metals, meanwhile, insists it will "responsibly" mine the area and pass "stringent" environmental standards, which is exactly what every mining company says right before the river starts glowing. Legal fights and permitting hurdles remain, but the message from Trump’s Washington is unmistakable: if you’re a foreign corporation with a good lobbying team, America’s wilderness is your strip mall.
Source: theguardian.com
trump gives ice $75bn, gets discount goon squad

ICE recruiters reviewing applications: "Bankrupt, fired, lied on a report? Perfect. Can you start Monday and bring your own handcuffs?"
Source: theguardian.com
vice president of jesus tells pope to watch his mouth

JD Vance, America’s self-appointed assistant pope, pauses between media hits to explain Catholicism to the guy in the white hat.
Source: theguardian.com
president infomercial hits the road

Trump pauses mid-rally to explain that if you squint hard enough, a billionaire tax cut looks exactly like a paycheck for you.
Reporters dutifully describe this as a "message to voters" instead of what it is: the sitting president barnstorming key states to prop up a Congress that keeps rubber-stamping his judges, his corruption, and his "what if the rule of law, but less" agenda. The White House insists it's all about policy, which is adorable, given that the policy is mostly "trust me, it'll be great" and a PowerPoint written by corporate lobbyists.
While Trump rallies the base with culture-war greatest hits and fantasy economics, the subtext is clear: keep Republicans in charge or the investigations, subpoenas, and faint whiff of accountability might return. It's not quite Mussolini-on-a-balcony, but it's definitely the early-access tour for a government where elections are treated as a minor inconvenience to be managed, not a mandate to be earned.
Source: today.com
trump world discovers children make excellent target practice

America First Policy Institute staffers workshop new ways to say “we’re banning your healthcare” while insisting it’s all very compassionate and science-based.
AFPI isn’t just some fringe crank operation; it’s basically Trump’s HR department. The group brags that Trump’s second-term administration has implemented over 90% of its agenda and placed at least 73 of its people in his government, including eight at the cabinet level. That agenda includes five early executive orders targeting trans people in the military, schools, sports, healthcare, and even on legal documents, plus federal bans on care for anyone under 19 and for incarcerated adults. A former Trump Domestic Policy Council aide, Scott Centorino, happily told the AFPI audience that Trump gave him a "blank check" and "essentially no leash" to go after gender-affirming care — which is exactly what you want to hear about a government crusade against a hated minority.
The plan now is to keep squeezing. AFPI and its friends in the broader Project 2025 ecosystem have already helped push anti-trans laws through at least half the states, targeting everything from puberty blockers to sports teams to bathroom use. Having used trans kids as the test market, they’re openly eyeing adults next, while the White House pretends it’s just about "defending girls’ sports" and stopping "unscientific" care. When a president hands ideological operatives "endless runway" to decide which medical treatments entire groups of people are allowed to receive, that’s not policy — that’s a theocratic control freak fantasy with executive orders attached.
Source: theguardian.com
president law & order cancels the victims

Donald Trump signs another pardon while the Crime Victims Fund quietly bleeds out in the background, but hey, BitMEX is feeling much better.
Donald Trump has discovered a bold new way to support crime victims: take their money and give it to white-collar criminals. Since returning to office, he’s issued 117 pardons and commutations that don’t just wipe convictions, but also vaporize the fines and penalties that are legally supposed to flow into the federal Crime Victims Fund. At least $113 million that should have gone to domestic violence shelters, rape crisis centers, child abuse treatment programs, and gun violence survivors has instead been converted into a loyalty rewards program for fraudsters and money launderers.
The crown jewel of this little experiment in upside-down justice is Trump’s corporate pardon of HDR Global Trading Limited, parent company of the BitMEX crypto exchange. The company owed a $100 million fine for ignoring anti–money laundering laws; Trump swooped in hours before the payment was due and signed a pardon that explicitly remits “any and all fines, penalties, forfeitures, and restitution.” That’s not mercy, that’s a $100 million smash-and-grab from the Crime Victims Fund, which was created under VOCA to help people pay for funerals, medical bills, and lost wages after violent crime.
The language here matters: “remission of any and all fines” is not standard pardon boilerplate. Trump barely used it in his first term; now roughly a third of his second-term pardons include this magical debt eraser for corporate criminals. Prosecutors are left wondering why they should spend years building complex white-collar cases if the president can just shred the financial penalties with a signature, while states scramble to plug the holes in victim services budgets because the guy who cosplays as the toughest man on crime keeps canceling the cash.
By comparison, Biden’s pardons interrupted less than $1 million in financial penalties, most of which had already been paid. Trump’s tally in just 14 months dwarfs that, and doesn’t even include the big fines that never got imposed because he pardoned people before trial. So the math is simple: corporations and rich defendants get their slates wiped clean; survivors of shootings and other violent crimes get shorter waitlists, fewer services, and state budgets duct-taped together to cover the federal betrayal. It’s a perfect encapsulation of Trump’s justice philosophy: protect the money, not the people who got shot.
Source: theguardian.com
pentagon hits the $1.5 trillion slot machine

Congress squints at a $1.5 trillion Pentagon budget request like it might, this time, actually say where the money goes.
The White House is asking Congress for a casual $1.5 trillion for the Pentagon, with a separate "don’t worry about it" tab coming for the Iran war. Because if there’s one thing this government hates, it’s universal healthcare — and if there’s one thing it absolutely loves, it’s writing blank checks for forever wars and defense contractors who treat the federal budget like their personal ATM.
Lawmakers, who have spent decades rubber-stamping defense bills they didn’t read, are now bravely demanding “more transparency” about where the money is going. Bold stuff from the same institution that turns every conflict into a bipartisan jobs program for Lockheed Martin. So we’ll get a few hearings, some sternly worded questions, and then, once everyone has finished pretending to be shocked by the price tag, the war machine will get fed and Americans will be told there’s just no funding available for things that don’t explode.
Source: npr.org
congress speedruns the police state for 10 more days

Mike Johnson and friends celebrate tax cuts while quietly keeping the government’s all-you-can-eat surveillance buffet open in the background.
The House just renewed one of the government’s favorite snooping toys, FISA Section 702, for a neat little 10-day grace period — because nothing says "serious constitutional oversight" like treating mass surveillance as a checkout-line impulse purchase. GOP leaders tried to ram through a five-year extension or the 18-month version Trump demanded, but both collapsed, leaving them to pass a stopgap by unanimous consent so no one had to be on record actually defending this mess.
For the uninitiated, 702 lets U.S. intelligence vacuum up the communications of foreign targets abroad and, as a fun bonus, hoover in Americans’ calls, texts, and emails that get caught in the same net. For almost twenty years, privacy hawks in both parties have begged for the bare-minimum reform of requiring a court’s permission before agents go digging through Americans’ data. The intelligence community, clutching its pearls, insists that having to get a warrant might slightly inconvenience their ability to read your email.
Weeks of House chaos produced only cosmetic tweaks that left civil-liberties advocates unsatisfied and the surveillance state essentially intact. Lawmakers now pretend they’re on the brink of some grand reform while quietly making sure the spying never actually stops — because if 702 ever truly lapsed, tech and telecom companies might sue, and we can’t have corporate America discovering it has rights ordinary citizens don’t.
Source: npr.org
new jersey sends trump a strongly worded congresswoman

Analilia Mejia celebrates her win while somewhere in Florida Trump wonders why New Jersey voters hate his coup-themed loyalty program.
Source: theguardian.com
trump asks hezbollah to ‘act nicely’ while he plans his victory arch

The president of the United States, fresh off urging Hezbollah to be on its best behavior, dreams up a triumphal arch for Washington like every totally normal, definitely-not-authoritarian leader before him.
Source: theguardian.com
virginia voters attempt to unplug trump’s gerrymander machine

A Virginia voter stares at a ballot question asking whether districts should be drawn by people or by whichever partisan intern can operate the most aggressive mapping software.
Virginia voters are being handed the political equivalent of a mop and a prayer: a chance to approve a new congressional map that could give Democrats an edge in four more seats, letting them hold 10 of the state’s 11 House seats. After years of Trump-world Republicans lovingly carving districts like a deranged charcuterie board, Virginians now get to decide whether their votes should matter more than the state GOP’s artistic ambitions with county lines.
The potential outcome: one of the final nails in Trump’s redistricting fever dream, where minority rule is preserved by maps so warped they should come with a physics disclaimer. If this passes, Virginia would move further out of reach for Trump’s party, which has spent the last decade screaming about "election integrity" while treating fair maps like a personal hate crime. Turns out when you let actual voters weigh in, the gerrymander-industrial complex doesn’t look so invincible.
Source: npr.org
trump explains nato to nato, threatens to stop pretending he understands it

NATO’s former chief politely explains that collective defense is not, in fact, a Trump loyalty program.
Source: nbcnews.com
trump picks a real doctor to run the cdc, hopes she enjoys working for anti-vaxxers

Erica Schwartz, moments before realizing her new job description is: "Please provide scientific cover for an administration that treats vaccines like deep state witchcraft."
While Schwartz shows up with multiple degrees and actual public health experience, her new boss is health secretary Robert F Kennedy Jr, whose most notable contribution to medicine is helping measles make a comeback. RFK Jr and his team have been busy trying to slow vaccine research and guidance, while Jay Bhattacharya’s stint as acting CDC director just expired thanks to the Vacancies Act, which briefly remembered it exists. The agency she’s inheriting has endured layoffs, cratering morale, and a shooting outside its Atlanta campus — and now it gets to be led by a serious scientist reporting into an anti-vaccine conspiracy enthusiast and a president who thinks Truth Social posts are a governing philosophy.
So yes, Trump has nominated a highly qualified professional to run the CDC. The catch is she’ll be steering the nation’s premier public health agency from the back seat, while RFK Jr and Trump argue over whether science or vibes should determine disease policy. What could possibly go wrong when the adults in the room are outnumbered by the people who think "slowing vaccine research" is a victory for freedom?
Source: theguardian.com
secretary rfk jr discovers poor people just need to shop better

RFK Jr, newly minted public-health podcaster, explains that if you can’t afford groceries under Trump’s tariffs, you should simply buy different groceries and stop being wrong about melons.
The Trump administration’s Health and Human Services department has bravely launched state-sponsored podcasting, starring Secretary Robert F Kennedy Jr explaining to hungry Americans that food is actually affordable if they’d just stop being bad at grocery shopping. Joined by celebrity chef and military meal planner Robert Irvine, RFK Jr spends 45 minutes turning vendor-negotiation anecdotes and bulk-melon tips into a sermon about how the real problem isn’t Trump’s tariffs or labor-crushing immigration crackdowns driving up prices—no, it’s your failure to appreciate dark meat and un-chopped cantaloupe.
The show politely forgets to mention that Trump’s trade war and worker shortages have helped spike food prices, while HHS’s own press secretary Emily Hilliard calls the idea that costs rose under Trump “ridiculous” and instead blames Biden for inflation. She then points to SNAP as the magical solution, neglecting the tiny detail that Trump’s One Big Beautiful Bill Act has been quietly carving up SNAP benefits like a factory-farmed chicken. Whole foods are ingredients, not meals, but don’t worry, the administration thinks you can just intention your way through the produce aisle with less federal help and the same paycheck.
RFK Jr also wanders into pseudoscience, declaring that bipolar disorder and ADHD are caused by bad diets—claims that actual medical experts keep saying are not supported by evidence. But why let science get in the way when you can tell people their mental health is just a kale deficiency? The episode wraps itself in a “Make America Healthy Again” slogan, complete with a Super Bowl ad where Mike Tyson calls Americans “obese, fudgy people,” while the administration simultaneously makes healthy food harder to afford for the very people it’s lecturing. It’s a perfect Trump-era combo: weaponized stigma, junk science, and policy sabotage, all served up as a wellness podcast.
Source: theguardian.com
ice agent discovers minnesota doesn't recognize 'because i'm federal' as a defense

ICE: now available in unmarked rentals, pointing guns at traffic since the Trump crackdown expansion.
Hennepin County attorney Mary Moriarty says this is likely the first criminal case brought against a federal immigration officer tied to Trump’s big-city ICE surge. Morgan allegedly pulled up next to the car, drew his gun, yelled “Police. Stop.” and then discovered a critical flaw in his tactical genius: closed windows are surprisingly good at blocking sound. Prosecutors helpfully clarified that this was "beyond the scope" of his authority, because apparently that needs to be said out loud now.
There’s now a warrant for Morgan’s arrest on two counts of second-degree aggravated assault, one for each person in the car he allegedly terrorized for the crime of existing near his rental SUV. DHS and DOJ, naturally, have gone full ghost mode and declined to comment. Minnesota, on the other hand, would like to remind federal agents that "absolute immunity" is not an all-you-can-commit-crimes buffet, and that waving a gun at random civilians can still get you up to 10 years in prison, even if your badge says ICE.
Source: theguardian.com