The Trump Presidency Timeline
Documenting the chaos since day one. 1615 entries and counting.
national security
hegseth's turtle war: franklin goes full rambo
Hegseth: because nothing says 'defense strategy' like a turtle with an RPG.
In the latest episode of 'Why on Earth is This Happening?' Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth has managed to enrage both book publishers and people with functioning morals by sharing a meme of Franklin the Turtle waging war on drug boats. Because nothing says serious military strategy like turning a children's book character into a drug war hero.
In the spirit of the holidays, Hegseth accompanied the post with a festive suggestion for your Christmas wish list. Nothing screams peace on earth quite like Franklin wielding a rocket-propelled grenade. Kids Can Press strongly condemned this 'sick parody', defending Franklin as a beacon of 'kindness, empathy, and inclusivity'—qualities not exactly synonymous with blowing up boats.
Senator Mark Kelly and Senate Democratic Leader Chuck Schumer joined the chorus of voices labeling Hegseth a 'national embarrassment', questioning the sanity of a defense secretary who tweets about turtles with RPGs while overseeing nuclear weapons. But sure, let's keep pretending tweets like this are normal.
Source: npr.org
#national-security#full-stupid#killing-democracy
corruption
pardon my hypocrisy: drug lords get a free pass
Ah, the face of justice: pardoning drug lords while playing Battleship in the Caribbean.
In the latest twist of the Trump saga, it seems that Operation Hypocrisy is going full steam ahead. President Trump, that bastion of law and order, is busy pardoning former Honduran president and convicted drug trafficker Juan Orlando Hernandez. Meanwhile, his administration is having a field day blowing up alleged 'drug boats' in the Caribbean and Pacific. Because nothing screams irony like pardoning a drug kingpin while declaring war on their supply chain.
But wait, there's more! Bipartisan support is somehow simmering for a congressional review of these explosions, especially after reports suggest at least one strike might be a war crime. War crimes: the newest accessory for any fashionable authoritarian regime. And as if the Trump administration wasn't doing enough to undermine public health, they've decided to skip commemorating World AIDS Day for the first time since 1988. Because when it comes to fighting HIV and AIDS, who needs awareness campaigns when you can have radio silence?
Source: npr.org
#corruption#lawlessness
anti science
fda: our new motto is safety last
FDA: Making science more about headlines than health.
In a stunning move that must have anti-vaxxers popping champagne, the FDA is raising the bar for vaccine approvals because ten kids allegedly died from COVID shots. Never mind the millions of children vaccinated without issue—let's slow down the process of saving lives. FDA Commissioner Marty Makary, aiming for a gold medal in science skepticism, announced this on Fox News, because if it's not on Fox, did it even happen? Meanwhile, Dr. Vinay Prasad is rewriting the vaccine approval handbook, possibly inspired by a dart board and blindfold approach to risk assessment. But sure, let's make it harder and more costly for vaccines to hit the market during a pandemic. Safety over science, right?
Source: npr.org
#anti-science#killing-democracy
lawlessness
pardoning drug lords now counts as foreign policy
Juan Orlando Hernandez enjoying his first-class extradition, courtesy of U.S. taxpayers.
In yet another bold move to redefine justice, President Donald Trump has announced a mind-blowing pardon for former Honduran President Juan Orlando Hernandez, convicted of drug trafficking and weapons charges. Because nothing says 'upholding the law' like letting a convicted drug lord off the hook. According to Trump's logic, Hernandez was 'treated very harshly and unfairly,' which must mean those 45 years in prison were just a misunderstanding of his misunderstood passion for importing cocaine.
Trump's social media rant also came with a side of election meddling, as he threw his support behind Nasry 'Tito' Asfura for Honduras' presidency. Apparently, Trump's idea of democracy is telling another country who should win their election—because that's definitely how it works. Meanwhile, Asfura, who has his own history of alleged embezzlement, is promising to fix infrastructure while possibly lining his pockets. But sure, let's keep pretending this isn't a comedy of errors on the international stage.
Trump's social media rant also came with a side of election meddling, as he threw his support behind Nasry 'Tito' Asfura for Honduras' presidency. Apparently, Trump's idea of democracy is telling another country who should win their election—because that's definitely how it works. Meanwhile, Asfura, who has his own history of alleged embezzlement, is promising to fix infrastructure while possibly lining his pockets. But sure, let's keep pretending this isn't a comedy of errors on the international stage.
Source: npr.org
#lawlessness#corruption
anti immigration
asylum? never heard of it.
Trump, fresh from his latest 'how to terrify immigrants' seminar.
In a move that surprises absolutely no one, the Trump administration has decided to hit pause on all asylum decisions following a tragic shooting involving an Afghan national. Because nothing says 'let's solve gun violence' like punishing vulnerable individuals fleeing persecution.
USCIS director Joseph Edlow announced the pause, pledging that 'every alien' will now face maximum vetting. In other words, the Trump administration is doubling down on its favorite pastime: scapegoating migrants. Meanwhile, Trump himself, in his usual calm and rational manner, took to Truth Social to declare a desire for 'REVERSE MIGRATION'—because who needs nuance when you can have sweeping generalizations about 'Third World Countries?'
The administration's deportation hobby continues unabated, shipping asylum seekers off to countries like Eswatini and South Sudan. But sure, let's keep pretending this is about national security and not just good old-fashioned xenophobia.
Source: npr.org
#anti-immigration#racism#lawlessness
retribution
trump's justice system: now with extra vengeance
Justice Department: Now Serving Trump Flavored Justice
Ah, the Trump administration—truly a beacon of justice and not at all a personal vendetta machine. The latest episode in this reality show involves attempting to prosecute critics like former FBI director James Comey and New York Attorney General Letitia James. Because nothing says 'democracy' like using the judicial system to target those pesky dissenters who dared to question the grand supreme leader.
Sure, a judge tossed those indictments due to the small issue of illegal appointments, but that won't stop the administration's juggernaut of retribution. Seriously, when even the Pentagon gets in on the action, launching investigations like it's the latest TikTok trend, you have to admire the commitment to pettiness. But, hey, when the 'rule of law' turns into 'rules are for losers,' the script practically writes itself.
Sure, a judge tossed those indictments due to the small issue of illegal appointments, but that won't stop the administration's juggernaut of retribution. Seriously, when even the Pentagon gets in on the action, launching investigations like it's the latest TikTok trend, you have to admire the commitment to pettiness. But, hey, when the 'rule of law' turns into 'rules are for losers,' the script practically writes itself.
Source: npr.org
#lawlessness#retribution
lawlessness
trump's georgia get-out-of-jail-free card
President Trump on Air Force One, plotting his next 'completely legal' escapade. Image: Pete Marovich/Getty Images
In a stunning development for those who still believe in the tooth fairy, the Georgia election interference case against Trump and his merry band of democracy-underminers has been dismissed. Judge Scott McAfee, perhaps inspired by the total lack of impropriety, decided that the attempted coup was really just too cosmopolitan for Georgia—how very unfair to the Peach State. The prosecution? Handed off like a hot potato by Pete Skandalakis after the original DA, Fani Willis, was ousted for having the audacity of a personal life. In other words, a classic case of 'nothing to see here, folks, move along.' As for Trump, he’s overjoyed, proclaiming the dismissal as a victory for 'LAW and JUSTICE,' which is totally what we’re all thinking.
Source: npr.org
#lawlessness#corruption
imperialism
trump's masterclass in 'peace' negotiations
When peace talks look more like a reality show plot twist.
Ah, the Trump administration, redefining 'progress' by deftly shifting deadlines as if diplomacy were a game of pin the tail on the donkey. Apparently, offering Ukraine a 'deal' to give up territory they haven't even lost is just the kind of bold, innovative strategy we've come to expect from the art of the dealmaker himself. Because nothing says victory like ceding more ground to Putin.
In other words, the U.S. is now sending Steve Witkoff and Dan Driscoll to play diplomats in the world's most confusing chess match. And while Secretary Marco Rubio flies off to Geneva to smooth over controversial points, the real question remains: who's playing who in this geopolitical circus? With Russia continuing to launch attacks on Ukraine, it's unclear if Trump's 'fine-tuned' plan will actually fine-tune anything other than his own public relations narrative.
Source: npr.org
#imperialism#killing-democracy
trade war
trump and xi: together again for the first time, again
Trump and Xi: shaking hands and tariffs since whenever it was convenient
Ah, the classic Trump-Xi phone call—a diplomatic love story for the ages. Because nothing says 'strong relationship' like a trade war with tariffs still hovering around 50%. In a stunning display of diplomatic finesse, Trump took to Truth Social to announce a 'good, and very important, deal' with China. Meanwhile, China urged everybody to 'keep moving forward'—which in diplomatic terms translates to 'we're not buying it, but let's see where this goes.'
They touched on all the usual suspects: Ukraine, Taiwan, and of course, the ever-romantic topic of soybeans. Trump even managed to snag an invite to Beijing, proving once again that when it comes to truly baffling foreign policy, nobody does it better than America's former celebrity president. But sure, let's keep pretending this is going great.
They touched on all the usual suspects: Ukraine, Taiwan, and of course, the ever-romantic topic of soybeans. Trump even managed to snag an invite to Beijing, proving once again that when it comes to truly baffling foreign policy, nobody does it better than America's former celebrity president. But sure, let's keep pretending this is going great.
Source: npr.org
#trade-war#imperialism
imperialism
peace through capitulation: trump’s ukraine plan
Trump and Putin: Redefining 'peace' one concession at a time.
In a bold move that would make even Neville Chamberlain blush, President Trump unveiled his 'peace plan' for Ukraine—a masterpiece of diplomatic genius that pretty much hands over everything Russia ever wanted and then some. Because nothing says 'peace' like telling Ukraine to give up territory to Russia, cap its military, and renounce NATO ambitions. Oh, but Ukraine gets to try to join the EU, something they should've been able to do regardless, and a sort-of-kind-of NATO protection for 10 years. In other words, a 'temporary' security promise that's as reliable as a cheap umbrella in a hurricane.
Meanwhile, back in Moscow, Putin is playing it cool, surely thrilled that the plan caters to Russian demands while warning that Moscow will achieve its goals one way or another—because why not dangle the threat of war over an already fraught situation? But sure, let's call this a 'peace deal.' Zelenskyy, caught between a rock and an orange place, is now considering counterproposals, because who wouldn't want to negotiate with a gun to their head?
Meanwhile, back in Moscow, Putin is playing it cool, surely thrilled that the plan caters to Russian demands while warning that Moscow will achieve its goals one way or another—because why not dangle the threat of war over an already fraught situation? But sure, let's call this a 'peace deal.' Zelenskyy, caught between a rock and an orange place, is now considering counterproposals, because who wouldn't want to negotiate with a gun to their head?
Source: npr.org
#imperialism#killing-democracy
anti immigration
trump solves minnesota's problems by deporting somalis
Trump discusses deporting Somalis to solve 'money laundering' in Minnesota, because why solve real issues when you can grandstand?
In a bold move, President Trump has decided that the best way to address Minnesota's imaginary money-laundering problem is to terminate legal protections for Somali migrants, because nothing fixes economic fraud like deporting the most vulnerable. America’s Somali community, particularly the 705 individuals under Temporary Protected Status, are now the latest targets in Trump's ongoing campaign to roll back any semblance of empathy in U.S. immigration policy.
In other words, when you can't find real fraudsters, deport people fleeing civil strife instead. The Minnesota branch of the Council on American-Islamic Relations rightly pointed out that this decision is not just bureaucracy at work; it's a political stunt driven by Islamophobic rhetoric—but sure, let's pretend this is about 'law and order.'
Source: npr.org
#anti-immigration#racism
killing democracy
education department's surprise vanishing act
Linda McMahon: Peeling back bureaucracy, one federally required program at a time.
In yet another masterclass of governance by chaos, the Trump administration has revealed its latest magic trick: making the Education Department disappear without bothering Congress. Because who needs legislative approval when you can just outsource education like it's a laundry service? The plan is to shuffle essential responsibilities like Title I funds for low-income students to the Labor Department and hand over Indian Education to the Department of the Interior—because nothing screams 'focus on education' like pairing it with workplace safety and national parks. Education Secretary Linda McMahon assures us this is about 'peeling back the layers of federal bureaucracy,' a euphemism for 'we didn't feel like dealing with it.' You know, because nothing says efficiency quite like handing education over to departments that have nothing to do with, well, education.
Source: npr.org
#killing-democracy#lawlessness#imperialism
corruption
trump's pardon party: jan. 6 edition
Picture perfect: Trump supporters gently 'breaking through' a police barrier at the Capitol, as if they were asking for directions.
In an inspiring move to support those pushing the boundaries of the law in his name, Donald Trump has pardoned two more individuals tied to the Jan. 6 riot. One, Suzanne Ellen Kaye, who showcased her love for the Second Amendment by threatening to shoot FBI agents, is now free to practice her 'disfavored First Amendment political speech' without pesky repercussions.
The second pardon went to Daniel Edwin Wilson, a man with a legally prohibited firearms collection worthy of a small militia. Because, apparently, if the search starts with Jan. 6, why should it matter what they find? In other words, the justice system should just look the other way.
Clearly, nothing screams 'law and order' like pardoning those with a penchant for threatening agents and stockpiling arsenals.
The second pardon went to Daniel Edwin Wilson, a man with a legally prohibited firearms collection worthy of a small militia. Because, apparently, if the search starts with Jan. 6, why should it matter what they find? In other words, the justice system should just look the other way.
Clearly, nothing screams 'law and order' like pardoning those with a penchant for threatening agents and stockpiling arsenals.
Source: npr.org
#corruption#lawlessness#killing-democracy
anti immigration
trump's america: the new underground railroad
When shopping for clothes doubles as a deportation scare, it's time to rethink your life choices—welcome to America's new normal.
Ah, the land of the free and the home of the brave, where immigrants now ponder modern self-deportation or strategic relocation as Trump’s immigration juggernaut rolls over any pretense of humanity. In other words, just another day in Trump's America, where polite society's 'real ugly looks' at a clothing store can make an American citizen feel like a fugitive. In a stroke of sheer genius, the administration has managed to transform several states into hotbeds of fear and paranoia, all while reshaping the demographic landscape without a single new wall. Because nothing says 'land of opportunity' like packing your bags to dodge a raid.
Source: npr.org
#anti-immigration#trumps-america
imperialism
nailing international waters: trump's new hobby
Trump, Rubio, and Hegseth: the Three Musketeers of 'Narco-Terrorist' Elimination, strategizing over their next game of international whack-a-mole.
Ah, the smell of burning vessels in the open seas—President Trump's latest strategy to rid the world of 'narco-terrorists', one alleged drug vessel at a time. Because nothing says 'justice' like obliterating boats with scant evidence that they're actually trafficking drugs. Grainy video footage of these high-seas heroics, courtesy of Trump's and Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth's social media feeds, is the only proof we have that these were indeed drug boats. The administration hasn't bothered with any pesky 'further evidence'.
Meanwhile, the definition of 'unilateral' is getting a real workout here. Legal scholars question the executive branch's authority to conduct these strikes without Congress's go-ahead, but Trump insists he's got it covered. Why bother with a declaration of war when you can just play Battleship in real life? Imperialism is clearly in vogue this season.
Meanwhile, the definition of 'unilateral' is getting a real workout here. Legal scholars question the executive branch's authority to conduct these strikes without Congress's go-ahead, but Trump insists he's got it covered. Why bother with a declaration of war when you can just play Battleship in real life? Imperialism is clearly in vogue this season.
Source: npr.org
#imperialism#lawlessness
imperialism
trump rolls out red carpet for former al-qaida buddy turned syrian president
Syria's Ahmad al-Sharaa: from wanted list to White House guest list. Photo by Jacquelyn Martin/AP.
In a stunning display of diplomatic gymnastics, President Donald Trump welcomed Syrian President Ahmad al-Sharaa to the White House, marking the first visit by a Syrian head of state since 1946. Because nothing says 'progress' quite like hosting someone who once had a $10 million bounty on his head from the U.S. But sure, let's roll out the red carpet and call it a victory for peace. Sharaa, now hailed as a 'strong fighter' by Trump, graciously entered the Oval Office through the back door - a thoughtful move to avoid comparisons to the more, shall we say, traditional leaders. Diplomacy at its finest, folks.
Source: npr.org
#imperialism#national-security#killing-democracy
corruption
pardons for pals: trump's second-term 'mercy'
Trump, the modern-day monarch, signing clemency orders like it's going out of style.
President Trump is back at it with his second-term greatest hits of clemency, this time pardoning a who's who of political cronies and cryptocurrency comrades. Rudy Giuliani, Mark Meadows, and even George Santos, the wire fraud aficionado, have all received the get out of jail free card from the Don himself. Because nothing says justice like bailing out your buddies. Changpeng Zhao, the ex-Binance CEO with ties to the Trump family business, also made the list—though Trump claims he doesn't know him. In other words, the Trump 'prerogative of mercy' is more of a 'prerogative of keeping friends and business connections out of orange jumpsuits'.
Source: npr.org
#corruption#lawlessness
lawlessness
trump's magical pardon tour: the january 6 edition
Nothing says 'justice for all' quite like a presidential pardon for your co-conspirators.
The Trump administration, ever the beacon of democracy's finest principles, has decided to issue pardons to 77 of its closest friends and allies, including the likes of Rudy 'The Borat Star' Giuliani and Mark 'Don't Look at the Texts' Meadows. These pardons are all tied to their valiant efforts to rewrite the 2020 election results under the guise of exposing nonexistent voter fraud.
Because nothing says 'uphold the rule of law' quite like the judicial wizardry of expunging charges for schemers who concocted alternate elector slates in secret meetings. In other words, it seems that aiding an insurrection is now just water under the bridge.
Yet, shockingly, in the five years since Trump's election loss, not a shred of evidence has surfaced to validate claims of widespread voter fraud. But sure, let's indulge the fantasy and call these pardons an answer to 'prayers.'
Because nothing says 'uphold the rule of law' quite like the judicial wizardry of expunging charges for schemers who concocted alternate elector slates in secret meetings. In other words, it seems that aiding an insurrection is now just water under the bridge.
Yet, shockingly, in the five years since Trump's election loss, not a shred of evidence has surfaced to validate claims of widespread voter fraud. But sure, let's indulge the fantasy and call these pardons an answer to 'prayers.'
Source: npr.org
#lawlessness#corruption
anti science
america skips climate summit, cites 'hoax exhaustion'
Because nothing says 'climate action' like a logo that U.S. officials will never see in person.
In a bold move that surely screams 'leadership,' the Trump administration has decided to skip COP30, the annual global climate summit in Belém, Brazil. No high-level U.S. officials will attend, because why bother discussing climate change when you can call it a 'hoax' from the comfort of your own echo chamber? Remember when the U.S. used to at least pretend to care about saving the planet? Now, they're more focused on saving face with fossil fuel barons. Priorities!
President Trump's latest climate strategy involves withdrawing from the Paris Agreement and rolling back policies that would have reduced climate pollution. In other words, America is leading by example—by showing how not to deal with a global crisis. As the world barrels towards a 2.8°C increase in temperature by 2100, Trump's 'America First' policy ensures we're first in line for catastrophic weather events and global indignation. But sure, let's keep blaming mythical economic threats instead of, you know, science.
Source: npr.org
#anti-science#killing-democracy
anti immigration
half a million deportations, give or take 200,000
DHS's version of 'accurate deportation figures'—as real as Bigfoot.
In the land of make-believe numbers, the Department of Homeland Security claims it has heroically deported over 500,000 undocumented immigrants this year, most of whom are obviously hardened criminals. Except there's this little issue of evidence—or the lack thereof. NPR’s investigation, supported by pesky things like facts, suggests the actual number is closer to 300,000. But sure, why quibble over a few hundred thousand people when you're saving America from murderous jaywalkers? In other news, 1.6 million undocumented immigrants supposedly fled on their own, according to DHS, which coincidentally aligns with the number of pies in the sky. And as for that 70% criminal claim? A mere 7% were actually convicted of serious crimes. Because nothing says 'land of the free' like rounding up people with traffic violations and calling it a victory.
Source: npr.org
#anti-immigration#lawlessness