The Trump Presidency Timeline
Documenting the chaos since day one. 1025 entries and counting.
crypto
crypto meets cronyism: trump's meme coin dinner
Justin Sun, a proud investor in financial comedy, ready to dine in style with the meme coin maestro himself.
In yet another episode of Trump's greatest hits on ethical gymnastics, the former president has invited his top $TRUMP meme coin investors to a cozy dinner at his golf club. Because nothing screams transparent governance like wining and dining with those who help inflate your personal wealth by a modest $20 billion. Meme coins, for those not in the know, are essentially the crypto world’s equivalent of a Ponzi scheme, masquerading as investments with all the integrity of a used car salesman. Yet, who could resist the allure of a hastily launched coin by a man whose name is synonymous with financial precarity? Sure, let's call it a smart move, akin to betting your life savings on your Uncle Frank’s surefire horse tip.
With 80% of the $TRUMP tokens controlled by Trump-related entities, investors are essentially buying seats at a table where the only winner is already counting his billions. As the crypto market eagerly waits for the next plummet (or, as we like to call it, the Trump Bump), attendees prepare to enjoy their overpriced dinner, perhaps pondering if their crypto wealth will hold longer than a Trump University diploma.
With 80% of the $TRUMP tokens controlled by Trump-related entities, investors are essentially buying seats at a table where the only winner is already counting his billions. As the crypto market eagerly waits for the next plummet (or, as we like to call it, the Trump Bump), attendees prepare to enjoy their overpriced dinner, perhaps pondering if their crypto wealth will hold longer than a Trump University diploma.
Source: npr.org
#crypto#forever-grifting
trade war
trump's tariff treasure hunt for dummies
Ah, the glamorous life of a Customs and Border Protection technician—sifting through overseas parcels like a modern-day border guardian. Charles Rex Arbogast/AP
President Trump has launched an exciting new reality show: Tariff Treasure Hunt! With tariffs flying around like confetti at a party, you'd think collecting them would be a breeze. Spoiler alert: It's not. Federal agencies are drowning in paperwork while exporters are mastering the art of dodging taxes—because nothing says 'American ingenuity' like turning evasion into an Olympic sport. In other words, while tariffs are supposed to boost U.S. manufacturing and revenue, they're mostly just boosting headaches and bureaucracy. But sure, let's keep pretending this trade war makes any sense at all.
Source: npr.org
#trade-war#full-stupid
crypto
trump’s crypto circus: coins, chaos, and capitalism
Trump at Bitcoin 2024 conference: because who better to pump a meme coin than a guy who built a casino empire?
Oh, joy! The Trump administration is diving headfirst into the crypto ocean, because nothing spells financial stability like a market notorious for crashes and volatility. Coinbase is joining the S&P 500, and Trump's family is knee-deep in meme coins. What could possibly go wrong? With Trump’s SEC rewriting the rulebook to embrace the chaos, America is poised to lead the world—straight into the next financial meltdown. But sure, this is the revolution we’ve been waiting for. Main Street Americans, get ready to cash in your hard-earned dollars for some fresh, new crypto disasters. Don’t worry, you’ll be able to tell your grandkids how you helped fund the next 2008-style crash. But hey, at least Coinbase is having its moment in the spotlight!
Source: npr.org
#crypto#lawlessness#forever-grifting
forever grifting
trump's memecoin dinner: ethics are for losers
Trump dining with his crypto cronies: where ethics are the punchline.
In the latest episode of 'Trump's America,' former President Trump is hosting a dinner for the top 220 holders of his own memecoin. Because why build a statesman legacy when you can dine with crypto whales and pocket a cool $320 million in trading fees? The ethical minefield here is as vast as Trump's ego—an administration shaping crypto regulations while deeply mired in the crypto world itself. In other words, it's like letting the fox run the henhouse and then charge admission for the eggs.
Attendees, identified only by their crypto wallet addresses (how mysterious), have reportedly spent millions for a chance to wine and dine with the man himself. But sure, they're just 'investment opportunities' and not, you know, pay-for-play access to power. Meanwhile, Trump's World Liberty Financial ventures into stablecoins, because nothing says 'financial stability' like a currency tied to a reality TV star's whims. Let's just call this what it is: Trump's crypto circus ensuring the grift continues, one memecoin at a time.
Source: npr.org
#forever-grifting#crypto
corruption
trump's middle east diplomacy: confusing friends and delighting enemies
Trump's Middle East Tour: Confusing Allies, Winning Hearts in Unlikely Places
President Trump, ever the diplomatic virtuoso, has decided to lift sanctions on Syria, much to the delight of Damascus and the utter bewilderment of Israel. In his inimitable style, Trump praised Syria's new leader as a 'young, attractive guy,' because nothing screams geopolitical strategy like a presidential crush. Meanwhile, Israelis are left scratching their heads, wondering if their longtime ally has suddenly developed a penchant for making new friends in questionable places. In other words, who knew international relations could be this much fun?
Syria's President Ahmed al-Sharaa, riding the wave of newfound American love, declares his desire for peace with Israel—a sentiment that must have gone over great in Tel Aviv, where the previous administration was still labeled as, you know, terrorists. But sure, peace is just a stone's throw away, right after Israel wraps up those lingering airstrikes in Gaza. All in all, another day in the Middle East where Trump's foreign policy brilliance truly shines... depending on which way you're looking.
Syria's President Ahmed al-Sharaa, riding the wave of newfound American love, declares his desire for peace with Israel—a sentiment that must have gone over great in Tel Aviv, where the previous administration was still labeled as, you know, terrorists. But sure, peace is just a stone's throw away, right after Israel wraps up those lingering airstrikes in Gaza. All in all, another day in the Middle East where Trump's foreign policy brilliance truly shines... depending on which way you're looking.
Source: npr.org
#full-stupid
imperialism
trump's syrian strongman fantasy
Trump and Sharaa, two men destined to save Syria with charisma alone. What could possibly go wrong?
In a move worthy of a political thriller gone wrong, President Trump has decided to lift U.S. sanctions on Syria, all because Ahmed al-Sharaa, Syria's interim president, is apparently a 'young, attractive guy' and a 'tough guy'—the two essential qualities, of course, for stabilizing a war-torn nation. In other words, Syria's future rests on a personality contest. Trump, always the geopolitical strategist, believes Sharaa has a 'real shot' at pulling it together. No doubt, because nothing screams diplomatic success like betting on a 'former rebel fighter' with a 'strong past'. Meanwhile, actual reporters were barred from the meeting, but hey, who needs transparency when you have such an airtight plan for world peace? But sure, let's normalize relations with Israel and deter terrorism while we're at it, because why not pile on more unrealistic expectations?
Source: npr.org
#imperialism#killing-democracy#full-stupid
corruption
scotus greenlights bigotry in uniform
Col. Bree Fram, posing for a Space Force portrait, probably reflecting on which galaxy's military would actually value her service.
In a dazzling display of legal acrobatics, the Supreme Court just gift-wrapped Trump his long-desired ban on transgender military service members, because nothing says 'support the troops' like forcing them out of the military for their gender identity. Col. Bree Fram of the Space Force, who apparently thought being highly trained and capable was enough to keep serving her country, is now faced with the oh-so-generous choice to 'voluntarily separate' before getting the boot. In other words, 'leave on your own terms' before we kick you out anyway. As Fram eloquently put it: this isn't a choice. It's a coerced exodus of skilled individuals who thought their service mattered more than the administration's latest attack on their existence. But sure, it's all about national defense, right?
Source: npr.org
#killing-democracy#fascism
corruption
saudi shopping spree: trump trades syria sanctions for cash
When diplomacy looks more like a stock photoshoot: Trump and bin Salman seal the deal in Riyadh, because foreign policy is best handled over tea and contracts.
In a move that would make Machiavelli proud, President Trump has decided that U.S. foreign policy should be dictated by the bling of Riyadh's ballrooms. During his visit to Saudi Arabia, Trump announced his intention to lift sanctions on Syria—a country whose leadership was, until recently, best friends with al-Qaeda. But sure, let's give them a clean slate. Meanwhile, the royal palace was as busy as a Wall Street trading floor, with Trump signing off on big-money deals while pretending this isn't just another chapter in his Art of the Deal saga—Middle East edition.
Because nothing screams 'peace and stability' like shaking hands with a former terrorist-in-chief, right? Trump's entourage consisted not of diplomats but of CEOs and Cabinet members eager to exchange the stars and stripes for the all-mighty dollar. So much for the U.S. being a beacon of democracy and justice—it's all about the Benjamins, baby.
Because nothing screams 'peace and stability' like shaking hands with a former terrorist-in-chief, right? Trump's entourage consisted not of diplomats but of CEOs and Cabinet members eager to exchange the stars and stripes for the all-mighty dollar. So much for the U.S. being a beacon of democracy and justice—it's all about the Benjamins, baby.
Source: npr.org
#corruption#imperialism#lawlessness
unconstitutional
judge reminds trump: congress exists
President Trump and his adviser Elon Musk, brainstorming the next great inefficiency under the guise of 'efficiency.'
In yet another attempt to revolutionize the federal government through sheer force of will and penmanship, President Trump found himself thwarted by one of those pesky checks and balances he's heard about. U.S. District Judge Susan Illston, a proud Clinton appointee, decided to throw a wrench in the President's grand plans to 'radically restructure and dismantle' the government. Her ruling, a minor inconvenience for the administration, insisted that Trump must actually get Congress involved in major governmental shake-ups. Because apparently, steamrolling entire federal agencies isn't something you can just put on a to-do list.
Judge Illston's temporary restraining order halts Trump's grand 'Department of Government Efficiency' initiative, lovingly dubbed DOGE (thank Elon Musk for that touch of genius), while also pausing the issuance of new reduction-in-force notices. You know, those delightful pink slips Trump was ready to dish out like Halloween candy. But sure, the administration is appealing the ruling because who needs separation of powers when you have 'inherent authority'?
Judge Illston's temporary restraining order halts Trump's grand 'Department of Government Efficiency' initiative, lovingly dubbed DOGE (thank Elon Musk for that touch of genius), while also pausing the issuance of new reduction-in-force notices. You know, those delightful pink slips Trump was ready to dish out like Halloween candy. But sure, the administration is appealing the ruling because who needs separation of powers when you have 'inherent authority'?
Source: npr.org
#unconstitutional#lawlessness#killing-democracy
racism
supreme court upholds 2025's greatest hits: discrimination
Ah, the Supreme Court: Where the scales of justice are meticulously balanced... or not.
In yet another stunning display of justice, the Supreme Court has decided to keep the Trump administration's ban on transgender military members alive a little longer. Because nothing says 'defending freedom' quite like stripping away the rights of those willing to die for it. The ban, a greatest hits revival from Trump's first term, now goes even further by creatively disguising discrimination as a 'health condition' issue. And who could have predicted that the same court that upheld its predecessor in 2019 would double down on this brilliance again? But sure, let's keep pretending this isn't about hostility toward transgender people, and that it's merely a coincidence that the Defense Department found zero national security threats in multiple studies. In other words, welcome to Trump's America, where 'equal protection' is just a suggestion.
Source: npr.org
#racism#unconstitutional
killing democracy
press freedom? never heard of it
Trump chats with reporters, reminding them just how much he *loves* free press.
In a shocking turn of events, the Committee to Protect Journalists has announced that press freedom is "no longer a given in the United States." Apparently, a flurry of executive actions in Donald Trump's first 100 days have set a new standard for chilling press freedom, complete with barred access for the Associated Press and FCC investigations into major networks like NBC and NPR. But sure, the White House assures us that President Trump is the "greatest defender of freedom," because nothing says 'defend' like exclusion and scrutiny. Trickle-down press suppression is the new policy, creating a permission structure for local leaders to follow suit. In other words, it's another banner day for democracy.
Source: npr.org
#killing-democracy#fascism
unconstitutional
trump's never-ending vendetta against lawyers goes down in flames
Because nothing says 'I'm a reasonable leader' quite like banning lawyers from doing their jobs.
A federal judge has done the unthinkable: stood up to Trump and declared his executive order targeting Perkins Coie unconstitutional. In other words, a grown-up had to remind the former president that even he can't just make up rules to punish his enemies. We can only imagine Trump's shock when Judge Beryl Howell quoted Shakespeare, essentially labeling his attempt to 'kill all the lawyers' as a tired trope more suited to a reality TV villain than a leader of the free world.
This ruling must hit hard, as it's the first permanent block against Trump's war on law firms he dubs unfriendly. But sure, let's pretend this wasn't a blatant attack on the independence of the legal profession. Perkins Coie is now free to resume its dangerous duties of practicing law and upholding justice—those monsters!
This ruling must hit hard, as it's the first permanent block against Trump's war on law firms he dubs unfriendly. But sure, let's pretend this wasn't a blatant attack on the independence of the legal profession. Perkins Coie is now free to resume its dangerous duties of practicing law and upholding justice—those monsters!
Source: npr.org
#unconstitutional#retribution
anti science
back to the future: trump brings epa to the 80s
Welcome to the EPA, where new policies are as fresh as an episode of Miami Vice.
In a groundbreaking move towards efficiency, the Trump administration, led by EPA administrator Lee Zeldin, has decided to turn back the hands of time and cut the EPA's staffing levels to those not seen since the good ol' Reagan years. Because nothing screams 'progress' like living in a past where science was just a suggestion. With plans to dismantle the very office that does the science thing—ORD—the administration assures us that moving scientists into policymaking roles will surely not affect the quality of research on pesky things like air pollution or health hazards. In other words, say goodbye to pesky facts and hello to corporate-friendly policies. But sure, development and safety can coexist, in a parallel universe.
Source: npr.org
#anti-science#killing-democracy#lawlessness
imperialism
trump's new world (dis)order
Truman signs the Marshall Plan, blissfully unaware that decades later a reality TV star would try to undo it all with a magic wand of 'America First'.
Ah, the good ol' days when America's foreign policy was about 'supporting free peoples' and building a global order, rather than bulldozing it. Truman had a vision, a plan, and a purpose with the Marshall Plan, NATO, and the UN. Enter Trump's second term, where the only doctrine is 'America First'—which actually means 'America Alone'. Why play nice with allies or uphold international institutions when you can threaten to take over Greenland and the Panama Canal? Because nothing says 'diplomacy' like territorial ambitions.
In other words, the world is now a buffet, and Trump's just picking what he likes, leaving the messy cleanup for everyone else. So, while Truman's America built the table, Trump's America is flipping it over, sledgehammer in hand. Cheers to a future of isolationism and alienation!
In other words, the world is now a buffet, and Trump's just picking what he likes, leaving the messy cleanup for everyone else. So, while Truman's America built the table, Trump's America is flipping it over, sledgehammer in hand. Cheers to a future of isolationism and alienation!
Source: npr.org
#imperialism#fascism
anti immigration
trump's deportation show: 18th-century edition
Nothing screams 21st-century leadership like deporting people using a law written when powdered wigs were in fashion.
In a bold tribute to our founding fathers, Trump has dusted off the Alien Enemies Act—because nothing says modern governance like 18th-century statutes. His administration is using this ancient war powers act to fast-track deportations, sidestepping that pesky little thing called the Fifth Amendment. In other words, why bother with due process when you can just deport first and ask questions never? Unsurprisingly, this has sparked chaos, fear, and the kind of protests that make international headlines, but sure, let's call it 'winning.' Meanwhile, a whopping 87% of Republicans are cheering this legal magic trick, while Democrats and independents are apparently too busy worrying about constitutional rights to join the fun.
Source: npr.org
#anti-immigration#unconstitutional#fascism
unconstitutional
trump and musk's unconstitutional office demolition derby
President Trump and Elon Musk, plotting the next thrilling episode of 'Government Downsizing: Extreme Edition'.
In a stunning display of unchecked power and disregard for that pesky thing called the Constitution, a coalition of labor unions, nonprofits, and city governments have filed a lawsuit challenging President Trump's grand vision of turning the federal government into a stylishly empty shell. With Elon Musk, our favorite crypto enthusiast turned pseudo-government efficiency czar, by his side, Trump aims to downsize the federal workforce—because nothing says 'efficient' like mass unemployment. The lawsuit claims Trump's executive order, hilariously titled the 'Department of Government Efficiency' Workforce Optimization Initiative, has overstepped Congress' authority. But sure, let's pretend that Congress, now a silent echo chamber for Trump's whims, actually cares about checks and balances. With so much 'accountability' on display, federal workers might want to start updating their resumes. Irreparable harm? Oh, just another day in Trump's America.
Source: npr.org
#unconstitutional#corruption#lawlessness
fascism
trump combats 'woke' education with shiny executive pen
Trump signs away on education reforms with a pen mightier than logic, flanked by his loyal cabinet of innovation masterminds.
Trump, in his infinite wisdom, signed a slew of executive actions aimed at turning American education into a new conservative utopia. Among the highlights? Reining in those pesky accreditors who dare to impose those wild DEI standards that promote things like 'inclusivity' and 'equality.' After all, nothing screams quality education like a homogenous, ideologically pure academic environment. In other words, let's make American education great again by gutting it.
Not to be outdone, Education Secretary Linda McMahon triumphantly claimed that these changes will usher in a golden age of 'critical innovations' like more competition in the accreditation market—because if there's one thing higher education needs, it's a higher dose of capitalism. But sure, let's pretend this is about intellectual diversity and not about punishing anyone who disagrees with Trump's worldview. Fascism never looked so educational!
Source: npr.org
#fascism#lawlessness
anti immigration
trump's immigration 'crackdown' snares legal immigrants too
Protestors rally at the White House against Israeli bombing of Gaza, because when your immigration policies are this chaotic, people have plenty to protest.
During his second presidential run, Trump promised the biggest deportation extravaganza America has ever witnessed. And guess what? He's delivering! Because nothing says secure borders like hassling legal immigrants and even U.S. citizens, as demonstrated by the misadventures of Amir Makled, a U.S. citizen and lawyer detained by border agents after a family vacation. In other words, Trump's immigration policy is so efficient, it's rounding up everyone in sight. But sure, let's keep pretending this isn't a complete and utter fiasco.
Source: npr.org
#anti-immigration#lawlessness
killing democracy
truth on trial: suing your way to silence
Gavel, scales, and a US flag: perfect symbols of justice—unless you're a journalist.
In the grand tradition of 'if you can't beat them, sue them,' Trump's masterclass on lawsuit diplomacy is catching on like wildfire among the rich and powerful. After all, nothing screams 'defender of the First Amendment' like threatening to obliterate it with a slew of lawsuits designed to murder the truth. Trump, embroiled in a personal vendetta against those 'crooked' media outlets, has launched legal battles against CBS and The New York Times for the unforgivable crime of reporting. In other words, the Fourth Estate is now on life-support thanks to the masterstroke of using courtrooms to dismantle newsrooms. But sure, it's all for the sake of honesty and integrity, right?
Source: npr.org
#killing-democracy#lawlessness
unconstitutional
judge schools white house on basic press freedoms
President Trump proudly standing next to his imaginary friend, the 'Gulf of America' map.
In a stunning blow to the administration's creative naming conventions, a federal judge has ordered the White House to stop playing word games with the Associated Press and let them back in the Oval Office. Trump, who prefers 'Gulf of America' over 'Gulf of Mexico', found himself on the losing side of a First Amendment debate, because nothing says 'freedom' like barring journalists for using internationally recognized names. Naturally, the administration is appealing, because why abide by court rulings when you can drag it through the legal system? But sure, keep telling us it’s about the privilege of covering the president up close. Spoiler alert: it's really about controlling the narrative, or at least trying to.
Source: npr.org
#unconstitutional#lawlessness