The Trump Presidency Timeline
Documenting the chaos since day one. 2714 entries and counting.
trump declares war on reality, accidentally creates a science movement

Colette Delawalla on the National Mall, bravely advocating for the controversial idea that cancer research should matter more than Trump’s feelings about pronouns.
Source: theguardian.com
history, but make it fascist tailgate merch

AI George Washington, resurrected against his will to endorse PragerU’s Freedom Truck, stares into the middle distance wondering at what point in the Constitution he accidentally authorized this.
Source: theguardian.com
musk starts a maga franchise in westminster, pays influencers in pounds and brainworms

Rupert Lowe, proudly demonstrating that in the age of Musk, you don’t need Russian bots when you can just get a direct debit from the algorithm.
Source: theguardian.com
democracy under the knife: mid-decade gerrymander-palooza

A tasteful infographic of democracy being sliced into safe seats, courtesy of your friendly neighborhood state legislature.
Source: theguardian.com
trump cures disease by firing the people who detect it

The CDC, bravely fighting infectious disease with Excel deletions and politically edited PDFs.
Back in 1981, a dry little CDC bulletin called the Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report quietly spotted the first AIDS cases and helped launch a global public health response. Forty-odd years later, the Trump brain trust has solved that pesky "early warning" problem by taking a sledgehammer to the very systems that made that detection possible. Why have independent science when you can have Robert F. Kennedy Jr. and a Telegram group thread?
The administration has axed the entire National Science Board — the congressionally created, stagger-term body specifically designed so no single president could hijack basic research funding. They did it by email, of course, like firing a barista who kept over-pouring the cold brew. At the same time, they nuked the long-standing vaccine advisory committee, stacked it with people who barely know which end of the syringe is which, slashed the childhood vaccine schedule from 17 diseases to 11, and then hastily rewrote its charter to focus on vaccine "harm" once a federal judge pointed out that maybe your national immunization policy shouldn’t be run like a Facebook comments section.
Meanwhile, the CDC has quietly stopped publishing nearly half of its routine surveillance databases — and, what do you know, almost all of the missing ones are about vaccination. MMWR itself killed a peer-reviewed Covid vaccine effectiveness paper after it cleared scientific review, because the acting CDC director suddenly discovered a problem with a study design the journal literally used the week before. The agencies still exist on paper, like a Potemkin village of public health, but the insulation between science and politics has been stripped out so thoroughly you can see the wires sparking.
The result: doctors are now making life-or-death decisions with less data than they had a decade ago, while the White House congratulates itself for bravely standing up to the tyranny of numbers. The message is clear: if reality conflicts with Trump’s politics, reality gets defunded, fired, or edited out of the journal. The buildings will still say CDC and NSF on the front door, but what’s happening inside is just another branch of the campaign’s PR shop. Who needs an early warning system when you can just declare victory over disease and move on?
Source: theguardian.com
supreme court to decide if 'temporary' means 'until trump feels racist again'

Supreme Court building, now offering same-day service on stripping rights from people who did everything legally.
The Trump administration is back in court asking the conservative supermajority to help them finish the job of turning "temporary protected status" into "don’t unpack, you’re deported." After already greenlighting the removal of TPS for more than 300,000 Venezuelans on the shadow docket, the supreme court will now hear whether the White House can also yank protections from Syrians and Haitians — people the U.S. government itself previously declared couldn’t safely go home because of war, state collapse, and disasters.
Nearly 1.3 million people started Trump’s second term with TPS. The administration has spent the year trying to rip that away from 13 countries, including Afghanistan, Honduras, Yemen, and others, while deadpanning that Syria is moving toward “stable institutional governance” and Haiti has “no extraordinary and temporary conditions” — a bold claim, given the raging gang violence and state failure currently happening there in real time. Kristi Noem, moonlighting as a geopolitical visionary, apparently believes that if you just say "it’s fine" enough times, civil war and organized crime politely disappear.
Haitian and Syrian TPS holders have sued, and their cases are now consolidated before the same court that’s been treating immigrant lives like administrative clutter. If the justices side with Trump again, analysts expect the administration to go for the full set and dismantle TPS everywhere — turning a 1990 humanitarian safeguard into yet another tool for legalized cruelty dressed up as policy. The message to people who followed the rules, built lives, and paid taxes is simple: your safety is temporary, but this government’s appetite for deportation is permanent.
Source: theguardian.com
president for life, but make it a primary

Thomas Massie, apparently under the mistaken impression that Congress is supposed to be independent of the guy rage-posting from the Oval Office.
The White House has apparently merged with the RNC to launch the 2026 "Revenge Tour," where President Donald Trump spends his time not governing but hunting down Republicans whose crime was momentary independent thought. Kentucky, Indiana, and Louisiana are the first stops on this rolling purge, with Trump trying to kneecap anyone who crossed him on redistricting, impeachment, or the unforgivable sin of wanting Jeffrey Epstein files released. Policy differences? No, this is about loyalty, tribute, and making sure everyone knows who owns the party.
Trump advisers are remarkably candid: they don't love the "revenge tour" branding, but they’re very clear that Republicans who don’t "stand up for his agenda" get politically executed. Rep. Thomas Massie, who dared oppose Trump’s "big, beautiful" deficit explosion and pushed for Epstein transparency, is now the main target, with a Trump-built political machine recruiting a Navy SEAL just so the president can settle a personal score. Massie openly says colleagues are afraid to vote against Trump because they don’t want to be next, but sure, we definitely still have three branches of government and not one man and his fan club.
In Indiana, Trump is backing primary challengers against state senators who wouldn’t rig redistricting hard enough for his taste. In Louisiana, he’s trying to oust Sen. Bill Cassidy for the high crime of voting to convict him after January 6. Outside groups, super PACs like MAGA KY, and Republican Jewish Coalition money are all being marshaled to send a nice clear message: cross the Dear Leader, lose your job. Massie, hilariously, frames his own survival as the test of whether we still have a functioning legislative branch. When that’s the bar for American democracy in 2026, things are going spectacularly well.
Source: nbcnews.com
trump’s deportation circus spawns a booming scam economy

Artist’s rendering of Trump’s immigration system: a guy in a knockoff uniform on WhatsApp takes your money, and the real government shows up just in time to put you on a plane.
Urbina did what the system tells people to do: fled persecution, checked in with ICE, waited for her court date, and sought what she thought was legal help. For her trouble, she was scammed out of her money, falsely told she’d "won residency," instructed to skip court, and then arrested at her ICE check-in and deported to Nicaragua in shackles. Scammed, then deported — the Trump-era version of "customer service." Meanwhile, DHS won’t answer questions about her case, New Orleans police go radio silent, and the official line is that impersonators "will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law." Sure. Any day now.
Federal Trade Commission complaints about immigration scams have doubled since Trump’s election, with at least $94.4 million reported stolen over five years — almost certainly an undercount, because nothing encourages crime reporting like a government promising mass deportations. State AGs, the ABA, and even AARP are frantically warning people not to trust WhatsApp lawyers, while USCIS sagely notes that it does not, in fact, grant residency over encrypted chat apps. But Trump’s crackdown has done what it was designed to do: create a lawless, terrorized environment where immigrants are too scared to seek help, predators cash in, and the only people the government reliably manages to locate are the victims it can deport.
Source: propublica.org
trump announces king charles is now his iran hype man

Four people in white tie walk into a state dinner: two trying to stabilize a 70-year-old alliance, two trying not to trip over the diplomatic wreckage on the carpet.
Trump bragged that the US had "militarily defeated" its Middle East opponent and that "they’ve known it right now, very powerfully"—a sentence structure that suggests the real WMD was grammar. Buckingham Palace then scrambled out a statement reminding everyone that the king is merely "mindful" of the UK government’s anti-proliferation stance, which is royal-speak for please stop quoting him like he’s your Fox & Friends co-host.
While Charles gamely tried to revive the "special relationship" with a history lesson about Suez and a gentle warning against US isolationism in Congress, Trump focused on publicly insulting Prime Minister Keir Starmer over Iran and declaring him "no Winston Churchill"—a bold line from the guy who thinks diplomacy is yelling at NATO and then sending a fundraising email. The result: a state visit that was supposed to repair alliances instead became another episode of The President Will Now Ad-Lib Nuclear Policy Into A Microphone.
Guests like Jeff Bezos and Rory McIlroy looked on as the US and UK tried to reenact 1957-style damage control, except this time the crisis is not a canal in Egypt, it’s one man with a podium and zero impulse control. Nearly 70 years later, Charles joked that it’s hard to imagine such a crisis happening again. The punchline is that it was happening in real time, over canapés.
Source: theguardian.com
trump turns skynet into a protection racket

King Charles arrives in Washington to reassure Britain that everything is fine while Trump and a pack of tech billionaires quietly auction off the future of UK sovereignty to the highest surveillance bidder.
Source: theguardian.com
trump doj blocked from building its national voter snitch database (for now)

The Trump DOJ staring at a map of voter rolls like it’s a DoorDash menu for democracy: everything must go.
Source: theguardian.com
justice department moonlights as trump’s real estate lawyer

Construction crews quietly turn a demolished historic wing into a $400m presidential panic disco while a judge’s order waves politely from the rubble.
The minor hitch: preservationists say Trump had no legal authority to bulldoze the historic East Wing without Congress and agency approvals, a concern Trump initially dodged by claiming the new structure would be merely "near" the East Wing before, you know, demolishing it. DOJ’s filing responds not with serious constitutional reasoning, but by accusing the National Trust for Historic Preservation of "Trump Derangement Syndrome" and praising Trump as a "highly successful real estate developer" with special abilities that other presidents apparently lack.
Legal experts note the judge is unlikely to be impressed by a brief that sounds like a campaign rally transcript stapled to a zoning variance. Meanwhile, the Trust politely reminds the government that their lawsuit "endangers no one" and simply asks the administration to follow the law — a standard that now apparently qualifies as deranged. The White House keeps building below ground despite a court order, the East Wing is gone, and the Justice Department is out here cosplaying as the Trump Organization’s in‑house counsel. Separation of powers? No thanks. We’re doing separation of historic architecture instead.
Source: bbc.com
republicans furious that democrats won’t clap for their fake king
Pictured: one constitutional monarch and one guy whose staff keeps accidentally tweeting out the job description he really wants.
Source: thehill.com
trump spends billions to stop cheap wind, buys himself some nice oil instead

The Trump energy strategy in one image: a wind turbine being quietly dismantled while an oil rig gets a taxpayer-funded champagne bath in the background.
Source: theguardian.com
coming soon: the united states of trump, now in passport form

Artist’s rendering of the new U.S. passport: the Declaration of Independence, an American flag, and a helpful reminder that your freedoms now come with a giant Trump watermark.
Source: nbcnews.com
fauci aide allegedly trades covid spin for wine and wuhan backchannels

David Morens, allegedly seen here discovering that "reply all" to your co-conspirators is not a great FOIA-avoidance strategy.
Prosecutors say Morens and unnamed co-conspirators explicitly agreed in writing to dodge FOIA by using his personal Gmail, then used it to share non-public NIH info, lobby on funding decisions, ghostwrite letters to leadership, and run "back-channel" comms with senior officials. For his "behind-the-scene shenanigans", one co-conspirator allegedly sent him wine and dangled Michelin-star restaurant meals in Paris, New York and DC — and Morens supposedly responded by identifying an "official act" he could perform to "deserve" it: a scientific commentary in a major journal arguing Covid had natural origins. Science! Now with loyalty perks.
Acting attorney general Todd Blanche — yes, the same Todd Blanche who moonlighted as Trump’s personal lawyer — solemnly declared this a "profound abuse of trust" at a time Americans needed it most. Stirring words from an administration that spent the same pandemic downplaying the virus, mocking masks, and rage-tweeting at Fauci on live TV. Still, if the indictment holds, Morens faces up to 20 years per falsified-records count and several more for conspiracy and concealment, proving once again that under Trump’s permanently politicized Covid universe, everyone is either a heroic truth-teller exposing the lab leak, a corrupt deep-state shill hiding emails, or both, depending on which way the polling goes this week.
Source: theguardian.com
trump turns lincoln’s reflecting pool into a campaign hot tub
Workers bravely attempt to turn a historic national memorial into the world’s saddest luxury condo pool, per executive direction.
Washington woke up to find the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool drained, full of construction equipment, porta-potties, and a few guys hosing down the bottom with what looks like Home Depot’s "Florida cul-de-sac" blue. President Trump, naturally, calls it “American flag blue” and insists it will take just one week and cost a very chill $2 million — which, coincidentally, is exactly the sort of number you throw out when you’ve never once dealt with a government procurement rule in your life.
Instead of, say, the National Park Service leading a transparent preservation project for one of the country’s most famous memorial spaces, Trump proudly tells reporters he’s working with “one of his best pool builders” from his real estate days. Because when you’re dealing with a historic national monument, why not subcontract it like a New Jersey golf course water feature? NPR politely asked NPS for details on the cost, contract, and upkeep; the agency responded with the traditional Trump-era answer: total silence.
The plan is to turn the dignified, gray granite basin that once reflected civil rights marches and anti-war protests into something that looks like the shallow end at a mid-range resort. It’s the Trump aesthetic in a nutshell: take a site tied to democracy and sacrifice, slap a brand color on it, declare patriotic victory, and let the taxpayers pick up the tab while the paperwork – and the oversight – mysteriously vanish into the blue.
Source: npr.org
trump’s doj indicts seashells for thoughtcrime

James Comey, moments before learning that seashell numerology is now a federal offense in Trump’s America.
The Trump Justice department has filed new criminal charges against former FBI director James Comey for the high crime of … an Instagram seashell arrangement. Comey posted shells spelling out “86 47”, which the government has now decided is basically a murder plot against Donald Trump. He deleted the post, apologized, and said he didn’t realize the numbers were linked to violence. Trump’s DOJ response: perfect, let’s indict him.
This is Comey’s second trip through the Trump justice funhouse; the first case for allegedly lying to Congress collapsed when a judge ruled the prosecutor was illegally appointed. That same tiny legal speed bump also wiped out the DOJ’s paper-thin mortgage fraud case against New York AG Letitia James. Rather than taking the hint that these prosecutions look like political hit jobs, acting attorney general Todd Blanche — who really wants the job permanently — has decided to speedrun the purge, greenlighting flimsy cases against Trump critics like the Southern Poverty Law Center and even cranking up an inquiry into former CIA director John Brennan.
All of this is happening days after a California man was arrested with weapons at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner and charged with trying to assassinate the president. Faced with an actual violent threat, Trump’s DOJ has chosen to focus its firepower on … a seashell post and the career of Comey’s daughter, Maurene, who just won the right to sue over her own allegedly political firing. The message from Trump’s America is clear: if you investigate Trump, criticize Trump, or are related to someone who did, the state will come for you — but don’t worry, it’ll be under the very solemn banner of “law and order.”
Source: theguardian.com
trump discovers a new form of permanent residence: indefinite detention

Delaney Hall ICE detention center in Newark, where the Trump administration briefly experimented with the legal theory that time, due process, and basic humanity are all optional.
The administration’s position would let ICE treat anyone who ever crossed illegally as a permanent target for near-indefinite detention under 8 U.S.C. § 1225 — even if they’ve been living and working here for years. Two other appeals courts already nodded along with this, because why not toss due process on the bonfire one more time, but now there’s a circuit split and the whole mess is headed to the Supreme Court, where the Federalist Society fan club will decide how long “seeking admission” can last. (Current Trump theory: until death, and possibly beyond.)
Meanwhile, thousands of migrants have already been jailed for months under this scheme, flooding federal courts with habeas petitions and overwhelming both judges and the Justice Department, which keeps getting yelled at for not releasing people it had no legal basis to cage in the first place. Even another Trump appointee, Judge Ralph Erickson on the Eighth Circuit, has been waving a red flag about this policy in dissent. When your own handpicked judges are telling you your detention regime “defies” the statute’s text, history, structure, and purpose, you might just be running an authoritarian fantasy rather than an immigration system.
Source: nytimes.com
america’s ‘great again’ era now includes ducking under banquet tables

America 2026: formalwear, filet mignon, and live ammunition — please silence your phones and any would-be assassins before the program begins.
As Bateman walks through the minute-by-minute chaos, we get the full transformation from glitzy self-congratulation to “are those gunshots?” to “please don’t let this be how I trend on Twitter.” The alleged gunman, 31-year-old Cole Tomas Allen, has been charged with attempting to assassinate Trump and two firearms offenses, and the motive is still a mystery — though living in a country where the political system treats mass gun violence as a scheduling inconvenience probably didn’t help.
So the president survives, the press corps survives, the gun culture that made this possible also survives, and by next week half of Washington will be back to insisting that more guns at the dinner would have fixed it. The only thing that actually took a bullet was the illusion that this is a functioning, sane democracy and not a reality show where the season finale is always, somehow, “shots fired.”
Source: bbc.com