The Trump Presidency Timeline
Documenting the chaos since day one. 1019 entries and counting.
imperialism
trump rolls out red carpet for former al-qaida buddy turned syrian president
Syria's Ahmad al-Sharaa: from wanted list to White House guest list. Photo by Jacquelyn Martin/AP.
In a stunning display of diplomatic gymnastics, President Donald Trump welcomed Syrian President Ahmad al-Sharaa to the White House, marking the first visit by a Syrian head of state since 1946. Because nothing says 'progress' quite like hosting someone who once had a $10 million bounty on his head from the U.S. But sure, let's roll out the red carpet and call it a victory for peace. Sharaa, now hailed as a 'strong fighter' by Trump, graciously entered the Oval Office through the back door - a thoughtful move to avoid comparisons to the more, shall we say, traditional leaders. Diplomacy at its finest, folks.
Source: npr.org
#imperialism#national-security#killing-democracy
corruption
pardons for pals: trump's second-term 'mercy'
Trump, the modern-day monarch, signing clemency orders like it's going out of style.
President Trump is back at it with his second-term greatest hits of clemency, this time pardoning a who's who of political cronies and cryptocurrency comrades. Rudy Giuliani, Mark Meadows, and even George Santos, the wire fraud aficionado, have all received the get out of jail free card from the Don himself. Because nothing says justice like bailing out your buddies. Changpeng Zhao, the ex-Binance CEO with ties to the Trump family business, also made the list—though Trump claims he doesn't know him. In other words, the Trump 'prerogative of mercy' is more of a 'prerogative of keeping friends and business connections out of orange jumpsuits'.
Source: npr.org
#corruption#lawlessness
lawlessness
trump's magical pardon tour: the january 6 edition
Nothing says 'justice for all' quite like a presidential pardon for your co-conspirators.
The Trump administration, ever the beacon of democracy's finest principles, has decided to issue pardons to 77 of its closest friends and allies, including the likes of Rudy 'The Borat Star' Giuliani and Mark 'Don't Look at the Texts' Meadows. These pardons are all tied to their valiant efforts to rewrite the 2020 election results under the guise of exposing nonexistent voter fraud.
Because nothing says 'uphold the rule of law' quite like the judicial wizardry of expunging charges for schemers who concocted alternate elector slates in secret meetings. In other words, it seems that aiding an insurrection is now just water under the bridge.
Yet, shockingly, in the five years since Trump's election loss, not a shred of evidence has surfaced to validate claims of widespread voter fraud. But sure, let's indulge the fantasy and call these pardons an answer to 'prayers.'
Because nothing says 'uphold the rule of law' quite like the judicial wizardry of expunging charges for schemers who concocted alternate elector slates in secret meetings. In other words, it seems that aiding an insurrection is now just water under the bridge.
Yet, shockingly, in the five years since Trump's election loss, not a shred of evidence has surfaced to validate claims of widespread voter fraud. But sure, let's indulge the fantasy and call these pardons an answer to 'prayers.'
Source: npr.org
#lawlessness#corruption
anti science
america skips climate summit, cites 'hoax exhaustion'
Because nothing says 'climate action' like a logo that U.S. officials will never see in person.
In a bold move that surely screams 'leadership,' the Trump administration has decided to skip COP30, the annual global climate summit in Belém, Brazil. No high-level U.S. officials will attend, because why bother discussing climate change when you can call it a 'hoax' from the comfort of your own echo chamber? Remember when the U.S. used to at least pretend to care about saving the planet? Now, they're more focused on saving face with fossil fuel barons. Priorities!
President Trump's latest climate strategy involves withdrawing from the Paris Agreement and rolling back policies that would have reduced climate pollution. In other words, America is leading by example—by showing how not to deal with a global crisis. As the world barrels towards a 2.8°C increase in temperature by 2100, Trump's 'America First' policy ensures we're first in line for catastrophic weather events and global indignation. But sure, let's keep blaming mythical economic threats instead of, you know, science.
Source: npr.org
#anti-science#killing-democracy
anti immigration
half a million deportations, give or take 200,000
DHS's version of 'accurate deportation figures'—as real as Bigfoot.
In the land of make-believe numbers, the Department of Homeland Security claims it has heroically deported over 500,000 undocumented immigrants this year, most of whom are obviously hardened criminals. Except there's this little issue of evidence—or the lack thereof. NPR’s investigation, supported by pesky things like facts, suggests the actual number is closer to 300,000. But sure, why quibble over a few hundred thousand people when you're saving America from murderous jaywalkers? In other news, 1.6 million undocumented immigrants supposedly fled on their own, according to DHS, which coincidentally aligns with the number of pies in the sky. And as for that 70% criminal claim? A mere 7% were actually convicted of serious crimes. Because nothing says 'land of the free' like rounding up people with traffic violations and calling it a victory.
Source: npr.org
#anti-immigration#lawlessness
imperialism
trump's pacific target practice: now with extra aircraft carriers
Pete Hegseth, master of ceremonies in the 'find and terminate' strategy, speaking at yet another press conference—because speeches are cheaper than evidence.
In the latest episode of the Trump administration's high-seas adventure, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth has announced the 16th deadly strike on an alleged drug boat in the eastern Pacific—because nothing says war on drugs like turning international waters into a live-action Call of Duty match. This latest act of nautical aggression has left two more people dead, bringing the Trump administration's 'deterrent' campaign to a heartwarming total of at least 66 casualties.
Of course, President Trump insists that the U.S. is in 'armed conflict' with drug cartels, and these boats are piloted by foreign terror outfits—though any actual evidence is, predictably, as elusive as Trump's tax returns. Meanwhile, the USS Gerald R. Ford aircraft carrier is sailing towards the Caribbean, because apparently, nothing screams peace quite like a floating fortress heading to Latin America.
In other news, Venezuelan President Nicolás Maduro is crying foul over the U.S.'s apparent fabrication of a war against his country, while Trump coyly dangles the possibility of further military action. But sure, let's keep pretending this isn't an unconstitutional military overreach with a side of imperialism.
Source: npr.org
#imperialism#lawlessness
national security
bolton's classified oopsie-daisy
Look at Bolton here, probably contemplating the best emoji to use when leaking classified info.
John Bolton, the mustachioed hawk who once cozied up to the Trump White House, has been hit with 18 charges for mishandling classified documents. Because nothing screams national security like firing off sensitive information via your personal email and messaging apps. Not to worry, though—Bolton is quoted on record as saying he feared a "retribution presidency," as if that's ever stopped anyone with a grudge and a Twitter account.
Enter Attorney General Pamela Bondi, the knight in shining armor who assures us there's "one tier of justice for all Americans." In other words, if you're embroiled in a scandal, make sure it's a really big one, so it takes a couple of years to catch up with you. Meanwhile, Bolton's lawyer insists these charges were "resolved years ago." In Trump's America, nothing quite screams 'justice' like a case of selective memory.
Enter Attorney General Pamela Bondi, the knight in shining armor who assures us there's "one tier of justice for all Americans." In other words, if you're embroiled in a scandal, make sure it's a really big one, so it takes a couple of years to catch up with you. Meanwhile, Bolton's lawyer insists these charges were "resolved years ago." In Trump's America, nothing quite screams 'justice' like a case of selective memory.
Source: npr.org
#national-security#forever-grifting
killing democracy
education department layoffs: trump administration's latest masterstroke
A person walks past the hollowed-out shell of what was once the U.S. Department of Education in Washington, D.C., now a monument to the Trump administration's commitment to 'helping' kids in need.
In a stunning display of priorities, the Trump administration has decided to gut the Department of Education's office for special education. Because nothing says 'supporting the vulnerable' like leaving 7.5 million children with disabilities to fend for themselves. In other words, the office tasked with overseeing $15 billion in funding and ensuring states comply with the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act is now a ghost town. The administration's solution to the ongoing shutdown? Firing those pesky employees who actually make sure children receive their legally guaranteed education. But sure, the 'pro-life' party really cares about kids... as long as they're not out of the womb, need special assistance, or have a legal right to education.
Source: npr.org
#killing-democracy#lawlessness
trade war
trump's tariff tantrum: the 100% solution for global chaos
An aerial view of a container port in Qingdao, where Trump's trade policies ensure containers remain filled with tariffs instead of goods.
In a bold display of economic strategy more akin to a temper tantrum, President Trump threatened to slap a 100% tariff on Chinese imports because, clearly, that's how you win friends and influence people. Meanwhile, China, in a true act of solidarity, decided not to back down, promising to fight fire with fire—or, in this case, tariffs with more tariffs. Because nothing says 'diplomacy' like an economic game of chicken.
Trump's latest 'brilliant' idea is to tax China into submission, while simultaneously accusing them of holding the world hostage with their rare earth metals. In other words, Trump's America continues to redefine 'winning' on the global stage by ensuring that everyone loses, especially consumers and manufacturers. But sure, let's blame China for all the chaos, because consistency is key when you're playing the blame game.
Trump's latest 'brilliant' idea is to tax China into submission, while simultaneously accusing them of holding the world hostage with their rare earth metals. In other words, Trump's America continues to redefine 'winning' on the global stage by ensuring that everyone loses, especially consumers and manufacturers. But sure, let's blame China for all the chaos, because consistency is key when you're playing the blame game.
Source: npr.org
#trade-war#imperialism
trade war
trump's trade war sequel: this time it's... worse?
Trump discusses trade... or at least, attempts to, as Youngkin, Oz, and RFK Jr. ponder the inevitable fallout.
In a move that surprises absolutely no one, President Donald Trump has decided that the best way to deal with China's new export controls on rare earth elements is to threaten a 100% tariff on Chinese imports. Because nothing says 'diplomacy' like a good old-fashioned economic meltdown.
As if invoking the specter of a global recession weren't enough, Trump has also tossed around the idea of canceling his meeting with Xi Jinping—though, shockingly, he can't quite decide if he wants to go through with it. In other words, it's just another day in the magical world of Trump's foreign policy, where consistency is optional and chaos reigns supreme.
Meanwhile, the stock market reacted to this latest round of brinkmanship with all the enthusiasm of a cat being dragged to the vet—plummeting 2.7%. But sure, let's throw more tariffs on the fire and see what happens. After all, who needs a stable global economy when you can have hilariously erratic leadership instead?
As if invoking the specter of a global recession weren't enough, Trump has also tossed around the idea of canceling his meeting with Xi Jinping—though, shockingly, he can't quite decide if he wants to go through with it. In other words, it's just another day in the magical world of Trump's foreign policy, where consistency is optional and chaos reigns supreme.
Meanwhile, the stock market reacted to this latest round of brinkmanship with all the enthusiasm of a cat being dragged to the vet—plummeting 2.7%. But sure, let's throw more tariffs on the fire and see what happens. After all, who needs a stable global economy when you can have hilariously erratic leadership instead?
Source: npr.org
#trade-war#full-stupid
lawlessness
trump's 'you're fired' moment: 4,200 federal workers axed
Russell Vought channels his inner Donald Trump, announcing layoffs with a smile. Photo by Anna Moneymaker/Getty Images.
In a move that screams 'let's fix government inefficiency by firing thousands of workers', the Trump administration has begun layoffs affecting around 4,200 federal employees. Director of the OMB, Russell Vought, gleefully announced the RIFs had begun, as if channeling his inner reality TV host. The best part? Trump blames the Democrats for this mass firing spree, because in his world, government shutdowns and their ensuing chaos are always someone else's fault. Meanwhile, OMB senior advisor, Stephen Billy, assures us that this is just the beginning, hinting at more RIFs to come. Who needs stability in government when you can have a 'fluid and rapidly evolving' workforce crisis, right?
Source: npr.org
#lawlessness#killing-democracy
anti science
rfk jr's health crusade: trusted like a doctor, hated like a disease
Health Secretary RFK Jr. outside the White House, where he's definitely doing a bang-up job of replacing science with what we can only assume is pure magic.
In a development sure to surprise absolutely no one, a new poll reveals 59% of Americans are less than thrilled with RFK Jr.'s tenure as Trump's Health Secretary. Because nothing says 'public health trust' like a man who thinks vaccines are out to get you. Republicans, meanwhile, trust Kennedy as much as their own doctor—because who wouldn't want medical advice spiced up with a conspiracy theory or two? The CDC's reputation, on the other hand, has plummeted, especially among Democrats, thanks to the Trump administration's relentless efforts to replace science with ideology. In other words, it's just another day in Trump's America where the Surgeon General's advice is only as good as the latest political talking point. But sure, let's keep wondering why those pesky diseases we thought were long gone keep making a comeback.
Source: npr.org
#anti-science#losses
full stupid
doge's magical disappearing workforce
A portrait of President Trump hanging ominously in the Labor Department headquarters, as if to remind everyone of the good ol' days when DOGE wasn't running the show.
In a stunning turn of events, federal agencies are now frantically rehiring workers they fired just months ago under the whimsically misguided Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) initiative. Because nothing screams 'efficiency' quite like rehiring the same employees you just pink-slipped. In other words, the Trump administration is now spending more than ever, despite DOGE's promises to save the day. But sure, let's pretend this isn't just another episode of 'How to Mismanage a Country.'
Meanwhile, President Trump—ever the maestro of deflection—claims he's making government more efficient with claims about deporting illegal aliens and restoring law and order, all while ignoring the glaring mistakes of his own creation. Bold move, Cotton.
Meanwhile, President Trump—ever the maestro of deflection—claims he's making government more efficient with claims about deporting illegal aliens and restoring law and order, all while ignoring the glaring mistakes of his own creation. Bold move, Cotton.
Source: npr.org
#full-stupid#forever-grifting
fascism
gop goes nuclear... again
Senate Majority Leader John Thune, pioneering the art of legislative rubber stamping.
Senate Republicans have decided that democracy is just so last century. They've gone ahead and deployed the good ol' 'nuclear option' to speed up confirmations of Trump's nominees. Because nothing screams 'efficient governance' like steamrolling over the pesky minority party's rights. Senate Majority Leader and logic wizard John Thune, R-S.D., assured us that this is all about restoring 'Senate precedent'—in other words, making sure Trump's team can bulldoze through with minimal fuss. But sure, let's pretend it's not about surrendering more power to the executive branch under a guy who thought buying Greenland was a hot idea. Meanwhile, Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer is shaking his head, probably questioning his life choices. But hey, when it comes to turning Congress into a rubber stamp, the GOP is truly innovative.
Source: npr.org
#fascism#lawlessness
anti immigration
pentagon's trans ban: diagnosis required (for your exclusion)
Air Force Master Sgt. Logan Ireland, unwitting star of the 'Serve Your Country, Get Kicked Out' saga.
In the latest episode of 'Pentagon Charades', trans service members are now learning that those 'diagnosis' papers they were once forced to get are now being used against them. Because nothing screams economic efficiency like a paper trail to boot dedicated troops out of service. The Pentagon, ever the maestro of inclusivity, has decided that gender dysphoria is now a disqualifying condition, because clearly the military's greatest threat is someone who doesn't fit their narrow definition of 'normal.' But sure, let's keep pretending this is about 'military readiness' and not good old-fashioned discrimination.
Source: npr.org
#fascism#killing-democracy
anti immigration
florida's alligator alcatraz finally crocs out
Bunk beds in Alligator Alcatraz: where detainees stayed one step ahead of their reptilian roommates.
In a shocking turn of events, Florida's notorious 'Alligator Alcatraz' is set to be empty soon, as the state rushes to comply with a judge's order to shut down the immigrant detention facility. In other words, when a federal judge tells you to stop using the Everglades as a holding pen for migrants, you have to actually do it. Gov. Ron DeSantis, ever the efficient operator of state-sanctioned hospitality centers, has confirmed the accelerated removals. Truly, nothing says 'welcome to Florida' like a one-way bus ticket out of the swamp. With environmental groups and the Miccosukee tribe stepping up where the conscience of the state did not, this closure marks a rare victory for those who believe detention centers should not double as gator-infested tourist traps.
Source: npr.org
#anti-immigration#lawlessness
imperialism
trump bends time: peace talks from his alternative timeline
Trump, peace deal maestro, proving geography and reality are mere suggestions.
Ah, President Trump, the master of 'Art of the Deal', strikes again, this time attempting to broker peace between Ukraine and Russia. Bold move, considering the only peace he's known is the kind that comes from his Trump Tower penthouse. With Russia still dreaming of a glorious Soviet reunion and Ukraine fighting for its very existence, Trump thinks a little pressure on India's oil purchases will bring Putin to his knees. In other words, Trump's peace plan is like putting a Band-Aid on a bullet hole, but sure, let's applaud the effort.
Meanwhile, the Europeans, who are now leading the charge in support for Ukraine, scratch their heads wondering if America's foreign policy is now written in crayon or if it's just Trump's two-week promises running on loop like a broken record. But hey, at least he made Alaska feel important by holding a meeting there. Remember, folks, nothing says diplomatic triumph like gathering world leaders in the Last Frontier.
Source: npr.org
#imperialism#killing-democracy
imperialism
florida's everglade extravaganza: jailbirds and gators
President Trump tours the new migrant detention facility, a visionary blend of incarceration and wetlands conservation.
In the latest installment of the Sunshine State's dystopian dramedy, a federal judge has mercifully interrupted the growth of 'Alligator Alcatraz'—a charmingly nicknamed immigration detention center parked in the middle of the Everglades. Because, obviously, nothing says welcome to America quite like being caged in a swamp alongside real-life dinosaurs. In other words, Florida's bold plan for immigration reform involved nature documentaries and muddy misadventures.
Judge Kathleen Williams, clearly not a fan of Jurassic Park reenactments, pointed out that the rush to build this wonderfully situated facility seems to have overlooked trivial matters like environmental laws and basic human decency. But sure, let's file an appeal, because who wouldn't want a detention facility threatening billions of dollars in environmental restoration? As Trump's tour suggested, it's clearly a model for nationwide expansion—assuming the goal is to cage humans like zoo animals while courting environmental disaster.
Source: npr.org
#imperialism#anti-immigration
anti science
epa to free businesses from burdens of clean air
An exhaust pipe in Austin, Texas—a symbol of the EPA's new mission to let polluters run wild, brought to you by Trump's America.
In a bold move to completely redefine the concept of 'environmental protection', the Trump administration is aiming to repeal EPA’s authority over climate pollution. Because nothing says 'responsible governance' like dismantling the very agency tasked with keeping our air breathable. All hail deregulation! In an ironic twist, many businesses themselves, those pesky entities that allegedly hate regulation, are actually fretting over this chaos. They might miss having a consistent federal standard to guide their long-term investments, but sure, let’s pretend it's all about freeing them from the 'oppressive' air quality standards. Meanwhile, EPA Administrator Lee Zeldin assures us that while he acknowledges the climate is indeed changing, his proposals are merely 'legal'. In other words, let's just watch the world burn, legally. Thank goodness for small mercies.
Source: npr.org
#anti-science#lawlessness
lawlessness
florida's everglades detention: all gators, no leadership
Nothing screams 'Everglades paradise' quite like a migrant detention center in the middle of nowhere.
In the latest episode of 'Who's Running the Asylum,' Judge Kathleen Williams has bravely asked the most important question regarding Florida's new migrant detention center, charmingly dubbed 'Alligator Alcatraz'—who's in charge here? With Trump officials and Florida lawyers playing the blame game, and ICE supposedly in the driver's seat but possibly without a map, the courtroom drama reached new heights of incompetence.
Meanwhile, environmental groups and the Miccosukee tribe have banded together to point out the minor detail that this Floridian fiasco was built faster than a Florida sinkhole swallows a lawn, without any pesky public input or environmental impact assessments. But hey, who needs NEPA compliance when you can just plop a detention center in the Everglades and call it a day?
Meanwhile, environmental groups and the Miccosukee tribe have banded together to point out the minor detail that this Floridian fiasco was built faster than a Florida sinkhole swallows a lawn, without any pesky public input or environmental impact assessments. But hey, who needs NEPA compliance when you can just plop a detention center in the Everglades and call it a day?
Source: npr.org
#lawlessness#anti-immigration