The Trump Presidency Timeline
Documenting the chaos since day one. 3792 entries and counting.
vice president calls muslim senate candidate 'evil', pretends that's normal democracy stuff

JD Vance explains that accusing a Muslim candidate of being 'evil' and linked to terrorism is actually what unity looks like now.
Vance also went full culture-war method acting, warning El-Sayed to "keep my wife's name the hell out of your mouth" after El-Sayed suggested Vance’s late grandfather might not have accepted Second Lady Usha Vance, who is Hindu. El-Sayed responded by pointing out that if we’re going to talk about evil, maybe we should start with ripping healthcare from working people to fund billionaire tax cuts, jacking up costs with trade wars, and dividing Americans for fun and profit. So on one side you have a candidate criticizing policies; on the other, the sitting Vice President implying that a Muslim opponent is basically a national security threat because he once campaigned with Hasan Piker and then distanced himself.
The Michigan Senate race was already a slugfest, but now it’s a federally sponsored smear campaign where the message from the White House is: vote for our guy, or the evil Muslim who allegedly hangs out with people who said bad things about 9/11 will destroy America. Totally normal rhetoric for a functioning democracy, and not at all the kind of sectarian fear-mongering you see in, say, countries we usually lecture about tolerance and pluralism.
Source: bbc.co.uk
80-year-old president posts duck memes while 23-year-old does his job

Donald Trump cosplays as an online shitposter while Olivia Rodrigo moonlights as the last functioning branch of government.
Donald Trump, now an 80-year-old president with the emotional range of a Reddit troll, spent his weekend posting AI duck memes and complaining about a lake, while 23-year-old Olivia Rodrigo accidentally wandered into the role of Leader of the Free World by raising $20 million for women-focused nonprofits that his administration helped gut. The Trump team slashed funding for reproductive health and women’s legal groups, so a pop festival is now doing the basic governance work the federal government used to pretend to care about.
Meanwhile, US institutions are lining up to kiss the ring. Universities are defunding DEI, major media outlets are treating Trump like a temperamental monarch to protect their deals, and tech CEOs have happily curled up in bed with him, algorithmically tucking in authoritarianism every night. Against that backdrop, Rodrigo is openly calling out Roe’s overturning, telling the Trump administration not to use her music in its "racist, hateful propaganda" video demanding undocumented immigrants self-deport, and quietly showing solidarity with Gaza via her platform and even her wardrobe. You know things are going well when basic empathy is now a high-risk career move.
On the other side of the courage spectrum, Taylor Swift — the self-professed "right side of history" billionaire — has gone mostly ghost during Trump 2.0. Her songs were used in White House ragebait posts for months, then quietly removed with no public pushback from the world’s most powerful woman in sequins. No comment on Gaza, no comment on ICE, just a carefully curated silence while free speech, women’s rights, and civil liberties get put through a woodchipper. The message from Trump’s America is clear: the government will bully, defund, and intimidate; the oligarchs will cash in; and if you want anyone to stand up for the vulnerable, you’d better hope a 23-year-old pop star has enough backbone to cover the gap where institutions used to be.
Source: theguardian.com
trump slaps canada with 50% tariffs, accidentally elects more liberals

Mark Carney thanks Donald Trump for his generous contribution to Liberal Party turnout operations.
Source: bbc.co.uk
forest service now proudly serving forests à la carte

Tom Schultz explains that the best way to save forests is to turn them into lumber, which, conveniently, used to be his actual job.
Source: theguardian.com
usps builds new ‘democracy shredder 3000’ for trump

USPS sorting machines, now upgraded with cutting-edge technology to misread barcodes and vaporize 10,000 ballots at a time for the president’s convenience.
The Trump White House took one look at the Postal Service — the agency that’s supposed to just deliver the mail — and said: what if this was in charge of deciding which Americans are real enough to vote? So Trump signed an executive order commanding USPS to help build a federal list of citizens and only send mail ballots to people on that list, which is definitely the kind of thing you do when you’re super chill about democracy and not at all obsessed with rigging the rules to stay in power.
A federal judge has already blocked this constitutional dumpster fire, but inside USPS, they kept coding away like a startup trying to ship a voting-rights-killing app before the SEC notices. According to an anonymous whistleblower, the ballot verification portal was built in a “rushed, chaotic, and fundamentally flawed process” that started in earnest in June — for an election in the fall — on a system that should take 9–12 months. The design is so bad it rejects entire batches of 10,000 ballots if a single barcode doesn’t scan, which is a bold new standard: one smudge and everyone loses their vote.
Engineers reportedly described the project as a “s--- show” and warned the system might crash, which is exactly what you want from the federal infrastructure now being welded onto the core of elections. Even better, the whistleblower says USPS was ordered to keep building the system despite court orders blocking it, because why let “the Constitution” or “judges” interfere with a perfectly good scheme to jam up mail voting? Trump keeps screaming about imaginary voter fraud, then demands an untested, legally dubious federal voter database run by the post office. Strong “set the house on fire to prevent fire hazards” energy.
Source: nbcnews.com
12-step program for former trump cultists now available

Former Maga believers at a support meeting, bravely attempting life without daily Fox-induced adrenaline spikes.
Turns out when you build a political movement on fear, lies, and Christian nationalism, you eventually need a rehab clinic. Enter Leaving Maga, a support group for people who woke up one day and realized their "patriot" community looked a lot less like a town hall and a lot more like a high-control religious cult with a merch table. Founder Rich Logis went from writing call scripts for Trump and doing the Fox News seal clap to posting a public apology after Uvalde, admitting he helped fuel conspiracy theories that brought "unnecessary death, suffering and trauma" – which is a very polite way of saying "I helped set the country on fire."
Former Quiverfull mom Stephania Messina describes her Maga years as a "religious psychosis" built on submission, household voting, and a pastor who called Covid lockdowns a "demonic deep-state attempt" to keep people from church – because nothing says "pro-life" like sabotaging pandemic response while worshiping a guy who suggested injecting bleach. Leaving Maga treats this not as a simple political pivot, but as an addiction recovery program: weekly support meetings, billboard campaigns that don’t scream at you in all caps, and media literacy training for people whose previous news diet was Facebook memes and whatever Tucker was mad about that night.
The movement’s core thesis is brutal in its simplicity: Maga wasn’t just about "economic nationalism" and "secure borders"; it was about a community glued together by rage, lies, and the thrill of having a permanent enemy. To really leave, you don’t just take off the red hat; you have to renounce the conspiracy universe where "they" are always coming for your guns, your kids, and your precious suburban cul-de-sac. The wildest part? Once they stop mainlining Fox and start listening to feminists, Black activists, and trans creators, their empathy mysteriously reappears – almost like the problem was never "wokeness" and always the authoritarian brainwashing.
Source: theguardian.com
musk’s doge vaporizes usaid, america shrugs

A USAID-backed community kitchen in Colombia, back when U.S. foreign policy still occasionally involved feeding people instead of just feeding Musk’s ego.
Instead of being known for stuff like helping Venezuelan migrants get legal status in Colombia so they don’t show up at the U.S. border, backing Amazon-friendly businesses so farmers don’t have to grow coca, and supporting Colombia’s post-conflict justice system, USAID was reduced—on purpose—to a Fox chyron about woke globalists. While NASA spent decades turning rocket science into kid-friendly TV, USAID spent decades assuming quiet competence would somehow beat a billionaire with a grievance account and a direct line to the Oval Office.
The result: thousands of experts fired, a major foreign-policy tool torched, and a propaganda win for an administration that thinks diplomacy is for losers and that anything beyond U.S. borders is either a future golf course or a caravan invasion. DOGE proved that with enough lies, enough presidential backing, and enough public ignorance, you can dismantle a cornerstone of U.S. soft power faster than you can say “from the American people” – as long as those people have no idea what was being done in their name.
Source: theguardian.com
jon voight, noted economist, redesigns u.s. tax policy

President Trump pauses in the Oval Office to consider which 80-year-old actor should design the next federal tax incentive.
Donald Trump has discovered a bold new frontier for economic policy: whatever Jon Voight thinks would be neat. The president hopped on Truth Social to demand bipartisan federal tax incentives for the TV and movie industry, a sector he and Republicans have spent years denouncing as a woke coastal menace. Now that Hollywood profits are at stake, however, it’s apparently time for a red-blue unity summit in the Church of Content.
Trump bragged that meetings are being set up with leaders of both parties to "save" the entertainment business, conveniently concentrated in those terrible, crime-infested, Democrat-run blue states he never shuts up about. The policy brain behind this? Jon Voight, whom Trump has anointed his “Hollywood ambassador,” because nothing screams sound fiscal planning like handing national tax policy to the guy from National Treasure. This follows Trump’s earlier brainstorm: slapping tariffs on foreign films, because of course the solution to everything is tariffs.
Democrats like Adam Schiff and Rep. Laura Friedman rushed to praise the idea, thrilled that Trump has finally found a form of socialism he can get behind: corporate welfare for studios and streamers. The Motion Picture Association is also delighted, having discovered that the path to federal goodies is simply flattering Trump’s love of TV. No numbers, no pay-fors, just Trump promising that the money spent on these tax breaks will come back to the Treasury "tenfold"—the same airtight accounting logic that gave us casinos, Trump Steaks, and a small army of bankruptcy lawyers.
So yes, the bipartisan project of our time is here: rewriting the tax code to subsidize Hollywood, guided by a president who mainly cares that people keep putting him on screen, and an industry more than happy to cash the checks. The American worker may get crumbs, but the American content mill? That’s getting a federal stimulus package with a side of ego massage.
Source: nbcnews.com
trump threatens to auction off the falklands for nato dues

Trump studies a map of the South Atlantic, asks which islands come with naming rights and a branding deal.
Officially, the US has long been "neutral" but practically backed British administration since the 1982 war. Now, with UK chancellor John Healey reportedly planning to ditch the 3% defence spending target, Team Trump is floating the idea that maybe Washington suddenly has thoughts about Argentina’s claim too. Leaked Pentagon emails already suggested reviewing the Falklands as punishment for Britain not cheering loudly enough for Trump’s war with Iran, because nothing says "rules-based order" like weaponizing old battlefields to settle new grudges.
Meanwhile, Trump has cozied up to Argentina’s Javier Milei, tying a $20bn bailout to Milei’s electoral success and then greenlighting Argentinian beef imports to shave a few cents off US grocery bills. Milei loudly backs Argentina’s claim to the islands; Falklanders themselves voted 99.7% to stay British, but why let a nearly unanimous referendum get in the way of a good leverage play? Reagan once backed Thatcher against a military junta; Trump is out here treating the same territory like a loyalty program perk he can swap between allies depending on who flatters him more and buys extra tanks.
Source: theguardian.com
another one flees hegseth’s fox & friends war department

Pete Hegseth, Secretary of War, pictured here standing triumphantly atop the rubble of what used to be a functioning Army leadership structure.
Dan Driscoll, the Army secretary Trump once hailed as a “disruptor and change agent,” has disrupted himself straight out of the building, handing in his resignation after months of reported friction with Secretary of War Pete Hegseth — a phrase that is somehow now a real thing and not a rejected Call of Duty DLC title. Driscoll was the No. 2 civilian at the Pentagon and yet another senior official deciding that serving under Hegseth is less "public service" and more "extended hostage situation".
The White House, doing its best North Korea cosplay, praised Driscoll for making the Army “more powerful than ever” and helping with Russia-Ukraine negotiations, as if this administration hasn’t spent years turning the Pentagon into a live‑action loyalty test. Meanwhile, the Defense Department has become a revolving door: the Army chief of staff Randy George was pushed out in April, the top commander in Europe and Africa, Gen Christopher Donahue, bailed in June, and Driscoll — a George ally — is now joining the exodus after hugging it out in the resignation receiving line.
Driscoll, an Iraq veteran and ex–JD Vance adviser turned tech investor, was supposed to modernize the Army, streamline contractor red tape, and help reshape drone warfare. Instead, his legacy is proving that even a Senate‑confirmed, 66–28 “safe pick” can’t survive long in a department run like a MAGA group chat with tanks. The message to the officer corps is clear: civilian control of the military now means Pete Hegseth gets to purge anyone who remembers how institutions are supposed to work.
Source: theguardian.com
great news: the military says it probably won’t help trump steal the midterms

General Dan Caine, bravely announcing that the U.S. military will not be serving as Trump’s personal ballot-retrieval service. For now.
Senator Elissa Slotkin, apparently tired of waiting for the coup sequel to drop without a trailer, demanded written assurances from Caine and Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth after Trump mused about "nationalizing" the elections and very pointedly refused to rule out sending Guard troops or immigration agents to the polls. Caine wrote back with civics-class answers. Hegseth, a Fox News green-room decoration who somehow became defense secretary, has not responded by the deadline, but did previously dismiss questions about seizing ballots as a "gotcha hypothetical" — because nothing screams confidence in democracy like treating "would you follow an illegal order to help steal an election" as a trick question.
This is all happening because Trump already tried to do the "use the military to overturn an election" thing in 2020, when he entertained plans to use troops to grab voting machines, then spent his comeback term hurling federal agents and Guard units into Democratic cities over the objections (and often the laws) of local officials. He even sent active-duty Marines to Los Angeles for his 2025 immigration crackdown, because if there’s one thing the Marine Corps was built for, it’s starring in a racist campaign ad. Federal law bans armed federal forces from polling sites unless we’re literally repelling an armed enemy, but the president keeps talking like the enemy is "people who might vote against me".
The White House, via chief of staff Susie Wiles, swears Trump would never use the military to suppress voting — a statement that carries the same weight as a used car salesman promising you the wheels probably won’t fall off. Meanwhile, the Pentagon is ghosting basic questions from Congress about whether the defense secretary will, you know, obey the law. Milley once had to remind everyone that courts and Congress, not tanks, decide elections. Six years later, we’re back to writing "please don’t do a coup" letters and hoping the answer is still no. American democracy: now with more disclaimers than a pharmaceutical ad.
Source: theguardian.com
supreme court greenlights trump's $400 million party bunker

Artist’s rendering of the White House ballroom: same corruption, more chandeliers.
The Supreme Court, in a tight 5-4 "emergency" decision, has decided that Donald Trump can keep turning the White House into Mar-a-Lago-on-the-Potomac, greenlighting his new East Wing ballroom while lawsuits over its legality grind on somewhere far beneath the sound of jackhammers. The National Trust for Historic Preservation argued that, no, the president does not get unilateral authority to slap a giant party barn onto a historic federal building, but the court's conservative majority helpfully discovered that the Trust probably doesn’t even have standing to complain. Whether Trump actually has the legal authority to do this? The justices politely declined to say. Very reassuring.
It takes a special era of constitutional decay for John Roberts to be the one writing, "That construction is likely unlawful," while his four colleagues in the majority shrug and say the harm here is basically just someone being "offended." Meanwhile, the administration boasts that the project is 65% done, with a 250-person crew working 20 hours a day like they’re speedrunning a Bond villain lair. The White House insists the $400 million tab is covered by private donations — an assertion that has been widely laughed out of reality — while Secret Service funds are already being siphoned off to cover "security enhancements" for the ballroom. The underground complex of secure locations and medical facilities is pitched as national security; the giant glitzy ballroom on top is pitched as, apparently, nobody’s business but Trump’s.
A federal judge and the D.C. Circuit had at least tried to put the aboveground monument to ego on hold while the boring question of legality got sorted out, allowing only the underground component to continue. But the Supreme Court’s shadow-docket fairy godmothers waved their wands and told the bulldozers to keep going, because the real emergency in American law is that a historic preservationist walking past the White House might suffer an "aesthetic" injury. The message from the Court’s majority is clear: as long as you wrap your self-dealing in the language of "security" and "improvements," and fund it with a murky mix of "private" money and redirected public cash, the guardrails of democracy will be happy to look the other way — preferably from a VIP table under a crystal chandelier.
Source: nbcnews.com
america discovers there *is* a grift too small for george santos

George Santos, freshly banned from monetizing his own attendance at Trump events, contemplates which institution of American democracy to turn into a side hustle next.
Source: theguardian.com
dear leader renames the lake

A tranquil Lake Ontario, seen moments before being rebranded by executive order into Lake America™: Now With 20% More Insecurity.
Apple and Google, ever eager to comply with whatever the state decides to call objective reality this week, are updating their maps for US users, while the rest of the world gets the diplomatic compromise: "Lake Ontario (Lake America)" — a nomenclature war crime in parentheses. MapQuest, which everyone assumed died around the time of MySpace, has suddenly become the hero of the story by publicly refusing to change the name and launching a tool that lets users rename the lake to anything they want. Within hours, the app shot to the top of the Canadian App Store, powered by the raw energy of an entire country collectively typing "Lake Absolutely Not."
Ontario Premier Doug Ford, not exactly known as a subtle statesman, is now the voice of reason, unveiling a giant bilingual sign declaring "Lake Ontario Now and Always" and calmly explaining on US television that no one is going to call it "Lake of America." The planet continues to spin, the lake continues to be Ontario, and the American presidency continues to be used like a bored teen's Instagram account — except this one comes with executive orders and a state-backed attempt to edit the map of reality.
Source: bbc.co.uk
trump breaks healthcare so badly we have to send in actual doctors

South Carolinians bravely support the controversial position that children should not get measles and hospitals should not be immigration trap houses.
American politics has achieved such a peak state of derangement that a pediatrician, Dr Annie Andrews, is running for Senate in South Carolina on the radical platform of believing in vaccines while measles tears through the state. Her opponent? Darline Graham, handpicked by Donald Trump to inherit big brother Lindsey’s seat like it’s a family timeshare and not, you know, a constitutional office. Because if there’s one thing this era needed, it’s more literal political dynasties chosen by a guy who thinks hydroxychloroquine is a food group.
Andrews is part of a broader push by 314 Action to elect 100 doctors by 2030, which sounds ambitious until you remember the context: Medicaid is getting hacked down to the bone, scientific research is being gutted, and the federal government is doing immigration raids in hospitals. National health agencies are collapsing under partisan sabotage, so the new strategy is to airlift physicians directly into statehouses and Congress and hope they can triage the damage before the next outbreak or executive tantrum.
There are already 20 doctors in Congress, but most of the prominent ones on the right – looking at you, Rand Paul – treat "science" as more of a suggestion than a method, happily spreading vaccine misinformation while cashing their government paychecks. So now Democrats are trying to build a pipeline of doctors who don’t think Facebook memes are peer-reviewed studies. The catch: actually qualified physicians are usually buried under medical school debt, while the ones rich enough to run tend to be conservative and oddly chill about dismantling the healthcare system their patients need to survive.
The result is a 2026 midterm landscape where health and science are suddenly "salient" because people are, minor detail, getting sick and dying amid foodborne outbreaks, vaccine-preventable diseases, and shredded safety nets. The experts who warned this would happen are now running for office to clean up a mess created by politicians who insisted they knew better than epidemiologists. It’s less a functioning democracy and more a code-blue situation where the doctors have to wheel the crash cart straight onto the Senate floor.
Source: theguardian.com
from us digital service to us doge service: democracy gets rugged

Artist’s impression of US democracy consulting an AI: "Error 404, listening to voters not found."
Source: theguardian.com
trump casually announces we now own venezuela’s oil, what could go wrong

Trump, gesturing at a map of South America like it’s a Black Friday ad, explaining which oil fields he thinks come in the "U.S. president" starter pack.
Source: npr.org
trump live‑tweets a possible war crime, pentagon shrugs in silence

Behold the Strait of Hormuz, where superpowers play chicken with oil tankers while a guy with a phone and no impulse control narrates the apocalypse in real time.
Source: theguardian.com
trump to yosemite: nice park, shame if a condo happened to it

Yosemite, moments before being rebranded as the Trump Sierra Luxury Experience & Patriot Timeshare Village.
Source: theguardian.com
consumer protection, now with 100% less protection

The Trump-era CFPB, bravely watching over consumers by asking billion-dollar startups if they pinky-swear they’ll do better next time.
Source: propublica.org