The Trump Presidency Timeline

Dan Bongino, the former NYPD cop turned full-time rage-podcaster, is stepping down as FBI deputy director – a job that, until the Trump era, was typically reserved for people who had actually, you know, worked at the FBI. Bongino thanked Donald Trump, Attorney General Pam Bondi, and FBI Director Kash Patel for the chance to "serve with purpose," because nothing says serious federal law enforcement like a Fox greenroom reunion tour running the Bureau.

Bongino was a "surprise" pick in February only if you somehow missed the last decade of Trump-world, where the main qualification for overseeing federal power is being loudly loyal on camera. The FBI Agents Association opposed his appointment – the 14,000 people who actually do the job were apparently less enthused about turning the deputy director’s office into a podcast set with subpoena power.

Trump now says Bongino "did a great job" and just "wants to go back to his show," which is a very normal thing to say about the person who was literally the No. 2 at America’s premier domestic law enforcement agency. Meanwhile, reports say he clashed with Bondi over the handling of the Jeffrey Epstein files, because in this administration even the FBI succession drama comes bundled with conspiracy-bait fan service for the base.

In other words, the man installed to help run federal law enforcement like a MAGA media property is leaving to go back to being a MAGA media property. The revolving door between propaganda and power keeps spinning, but sure, tell us again how this is all about "law and order" and not capturing the justice system for the content grind.

Fani Willis went to the Georgia state senate to answer questions about prosecuting Donald Trump for trying to steal an election, and the Republicans responded by holding a full-on feelings hearing about how mean it was that she ever tried. The special committee, originally created to investigate her relationship with special prosecutor Nathan Wade, has now evolved into a taxpayer-funded therapy circle for MAGA officials still processing the trauma of Trump briefly facing consequences.

Vice-chair Greg Dolezal — who, totally coincidentally, is running for lieutenant governor — used Wade’s billing records to spin a grand theory of "coordination" between Willis, the January 6 committee, and the White House, because nothing says "serious oversight" like turning routine contact with a congressional investigation into a Lawfare Cinematic Universe. Willis, meanwhile, pointed out the actual threats, racial slurs, and swatting she’s faced, and the GOP response was basically: fascinating, but back to how this hurt Donald Trump’s feelings.

The committee can’t actually sanction Willis, but it can rewrite Georgia law to make it easier to punish local prosecutors who inconvenience Republicans in the future — in other words, it’s a dry run for the next round of prosecutor-hunting season. Dolezal insisted this is all about misuse of grant funds and "lawfare" against the now re-elected president, while denying any coordination with Jim Jordan, who just happens to be running a matching witch-hunt from Washington. But sure, it’s all totally organic grassroots concern about accounting practices, not a coordinated campaign to warn every DA in America what happens if they indict Dear Leader.

Jack Smith went to the House Judiciary Committee to do the unthinkable in Trump's America: calmly explain that prosecuting crimes is not, in fact, a partisan coup. In a closed-door session demanded by Republicans who then immediately leaked the parts they thought helped them, Smith said he brought charges against Trump "without regard" to his politics, beliefs, or 2024 candidacy — because nothing says "witch hunt" like following the evidence and the statute book.

Smith told lawmakers his team had "proof beyond a reasonable doubt" that Trump took part in a criminal scheme to overturn the 2020 election, plus "powerful evidence" that he willfully hoarded classified documents and tried to obstruct justice to cover it up. In other words, the stuff we all watched play out on live television and then read about in the indictment like it was a greatest-hits compilation of felonies. Smith even said that, given the same facts, he'd prosecute a former president again, Republican or Democrat — a cute, old-fashioned belief in equal application of the law that really doesn’t fit the current GOP brand.

Of course, all of this is happening after Trump's 2024 win, when the Justice Department helpfully tossed the election case and walked away from the classified documents prosecution like it was a drink someone else ordered. So the Republican-led committee hauled in the guy whose cases they helped kill, so they could accuse him of being political for daring to bring them in the first place. Because nothing screams "rule of law" like punishing the prosecutor for proving your cult leader did crimes.

Smith is also reportedly trying to correct GOP "mischaracterizations" of his work, including the horror that investigators obtained phone records of some Republican members of Congress — you know, the ones who were texting their way through a coup plot. But sure, the real scandal here is not the attempted overthrow of an election; it's that the people investigating it had the nerve to follow the evidence. America: where the crimes are public, the accountability is secret, and the retribution is televised.

Jack Smith went to the Hill to answer for his unspeakable crime: investigating the crimes Donald Trump actually committed. The former special counsel, who brought two now-dropped criminal cases against Trump — one for hoarding classified documents like they were Trump steaks, the other for trying to overturn an election — told the House judiciary committee that the basis for the prosecutions "rests entirely with President Trump and his actions." In other words: if you don’t want to be investigated for a coup, maybe don’t do a coup.

Jim Jordan, the human embodiment of a forwarded Facebook chain email, insisted the whole thing was “political” and “about going after our candidate for president, President Trump” — because nothing says totally innocent man like needing the House GOP to run PR damage control in a secret hearing. Smith, who actually requested a public hearing, calmly explained that Trump and his buddies tried to pressure Members of Congress to delay certification of the 2020 election. “I didn’t choose those Members; President Trump did,” he noted — a very polite way of saying, "your guy dialed his own co-conspirators."

Democrats who were in the room said Smith answered every question and that a public hearing would have been “absolutely devastating to the president,” which is of course why Republicans made sure it was behind closed doors. Meanwhile, the GOP is outraged — outraged! — that investigators looked at data from conservative groups and a handful of Republican senators while investigating an attack on the Capitol by Trump supporters. Because nothing screams “weaponization of government” like law enforcement checking the phone records of the people whose supporters tried to beat cops with flagpoles to stop the peaceful transfer of power.

Smith’s bottom line: he’d bring the same prosecutions again on the same facts, regardless of party. The DOJ’s bottom line: you apparently can’t prosecute a sitting president, even if he tried to overthrow the last election to become a sitting president again. But sure, tell us more about how the real abuse of the legal system is the guy who followed department policy while investigating a president who didn’t follow any policy, law, norm, or basic human instinct for shame.

Trump is giving a primetime address tonight because his approval rating has dipped below 40% and Americans are freaking out about prices — so naturally, he’s going on TV to tell them the economy is actually “A+++++”. In other words, the guy who lit the house on fire with unilateral tariffs is now scheduling a national broadcast to complain that people keep rudely noticing the smoke. Even some conservatives are calling the grading scale delusional, which is impressive given their usual willingness to clap like trained seals at whatever comes out of his mouth.

While voters say prices are their top concern and Jerome Powell politely points out that inflation is happening “entirely in sectors where there are tariffs”, Trump is out there promising bigger tax refunds in April and magical “Trump accounts” for babies born between 2025–2028. Because nothing says serious economic policy like slapping your own name on a savings account and hoping people forget their grocery bill doubled. The White House insists he’ll tout his “historic accomplishments” and brag about “lower gas prices” and “border security,” which is a bold move when your own trade war is jacking up the cost of basically everything that isn’t nailed down.

Democrats just swept key off-year elections by talking about affordability — the very thing Trump has been publicly mocking as a “hoax” — but sure, the problem is the messaging, not the tariffs, not the prices, and definitely not the guy grading himself like a desperate middle-schooler begging for extra credit. Tonight’s speech is billed as a chance to “regain the economic narrative,” which is Washington-speak for: he broke it, he owns it, and now he’s going to yell at the TV until the polls agree.

The FCC quietly deleted the word “independent” from its mission statement while its Trump-loyalist chair Brendan Carr was testifying to the Senate that, actually, the agency isn’t independent “formally speaking.” Because nothing says "we’re definitely not becoming authoritarian state media" like live-editing your own website mid-hearing to line up with Dear Leader’s power grab.

Carr, who’s been moonlighting as Trump’s personal TV hall monitor, previously leaned on networks over Jimmy Kimmel’s jokes about the MAGA movement, warning broadcasters they could change their behavior “the easy way or the hard way.” In other words: nice broadcast license you’ve got there, shame if something regulatory happened to it. But sure, this is just about the timeless and totally-not-vague-at-all “public interest standard” from 1934, not about punishing criticism of Trump.

Senators Amy Klobuchar, Ed Markey, and Tammy Baldwin took turns pointing out that this looks a lot like government censorship and a lot less like neutral oversight, with Baldwin flatly calling Carr a “parrot for President Trump.” Carr responded by insisting broadcasters are finally being “held accountable” under hoax and news distortion rules — conveniently enforced against Trump critics and Trump-critical outlets. So the FCC has gone from “independent agency overseen by Congress” to “Trump’s Content Moderation Team,” but hey, at least they updated the website to match the coup.

The FDA just recalled more than 3,500 cases of salad dressing because they were helpfully fortified with “black plastic planting material” in the granulated onion. In other words, your ranch was one supply-chain hiccup away from becoming a Home Depot clearance bin. Ventura Foods made the stuff, Hidden Valley’s name is on some of it, and the government has labeled it a “class II” recall, meaning the health effects are supposed to be only temporary and medically reversible — which is a fun way of saying, “You probably won’t die, but your Caesar might fight back.”

The contamination hit giant one-gallon food-service jugs shipped all over the country, including to Costco and deli counters in at least 30 states, plus one lucky customer in Costa Rica, because nothing says American soft power like exporting our plastic problem in salad form. Hidden Valley rushed out to clarify that consumers buying normal bottles in stores are totally fine, and that the recalled professional buttermilk ranch was “never distributed,” which is exactly the kind of statement you hear right before another recall notice drops six weeks later.

Meanwhile, the FDA advises anyone who somehow ended up with this stuff not to eat it and to take it back for a refund — assuming you can even tell which ready-to-eat deli meals were slathered in “farm-to-landfill” ranch. But sure, let’s keep pretending the real threat to America’s health is drag brunch and not a food system where your salad dressing shows up with bonus landscaping supplies.

The Trump administration has decided the best way to deal with worsening fires, floods, and hurricanes is to defund the people who predict them. Russell Vought, still cosplaying as a budget hawk on X, proudly announced that the National Center for Atmospheric Research in Boulder — a globally respected “crown jewel” of climate and weather science — will be dismantled for the crime of “climate alarmism.” Because nothing says “serious governing” like nuking your top atmospheric research lab while megafires and 1,000-year floods show up every six months.

Vought helpfully clarified that any “vital activities” like weather research would be moved somewhere else, which is bureaucrat-speak for “we’ll hand this to some loyal hack who thinks a supercomputer is when Trump remembers two talking points in a row.” The Mesa Laboratory will be shut, 830 staff thrown into chaos, and the NCAR-run supercomputing facility and research aircraft shoved into whatever political shredder passes for policy review in this White House.

Even conservative climate policy guy Roger Pielke Jr is out here saying NCAR is a “crown jewel” that should be improved, not shuttered — in other words, it’s so obviously stupid and petty that even the usual ‘both-sides’ crowd can’t spin it. Colorado governor Jared Polis noted that NCAR’s work on fires, floods, and severe weather literally helps save lives and property, but sure, let’s call it “woke” and pull the plug because one of their programs tries to make science more inclusive and they study wind turbines, Trump’s personal windmill-tilting obsession.

This all slots neatly into Trump’s ongoing crusade against reality: climate change is a “hoax,” NOAA gets a proposed 30% budget chainsaw, and any lab that produces inconvenient data gets labeled “green new scam research.” The message is clear: if your models show rising seas and stronger hurricanes, this administration will rise up to meet the challenge by destroying your funding, your lab, and probably your server farm. But hey, at least the billionaires building beachfront bunkers will get a tax cut.

Jack Smith showed up to Capitol Hill to explain the wild, radical theory that if you have proof beyond a reasonable doubt that a president ran a criminal scheme to overturn an election and hoarded classified documents, you should maybe, possibly, consider charging him. In other words, basic rule-of-law stuff — which of course means he’s now being hauled in front of Jim Jordan’s "Oversight and Retaliation Committee" for the crime of doing his job before Trump got back the nuclear codes and the DOJ.

Smith told lawmakers that the evidence "rests entirely with President Trump and his actions," which is very rude because the official MAGA line is that the real criminals are FBI lawyers, election workers, and that one Republican county clerk who didn’t "find" enough votes. Republicans are especially outraged that their phone records were subpoenaed, because nothing says "totally innocent" like panicking over who the prosecutor saw you calling on January 6.

The hearing is, naturally, closed-door — not because Smith wanted it that way (he volunteered for an open hearing), but because nothing says "transparency" like silencing the guy who investigated your dear leader while you publicly smear him as a "criminal" who should be "put in prison." This is the same justice system that recently tried to prosecute James Comey over old testimony with a prosecutor a judge later ruled was improperly appointed — because if you can’t jail the people who investigated Trump, you can at least prove the entire system now exists to deter anyone from trying again.