Sunday, January 26, 2025
donald trump telling the crowd melania said he could have a big mac on his way home if he kept his diaper clean
President frumpy face is contemplating redeploying nearly 90,000 newly hired IRS agents to guard the southern border. Critics argue that this plan not only diverts resources from tax enforcement but also raises questions about the agents' preparedness for such a role.
the two dumbest people to ever hold high office
According to recent reports, former President Donald Trump's phone calls with British leaders were so filled with gaffes and misunderstandings that staff members were left in tears—from laughter. Our president, the blowhard bufoon
donald frump playing the air accordion
In a masterclass of budgetary brilliance, the Trump administration is deploying military aircraft like C-130Es for mass deportations, each 12-hour flight from El Paso to Guatemala City costing up to $852,000 to transport just 80 migrants. For context, that's over $10,000 per person. In contrast, a Department of Homeland Security chartered flight for the same route costs a mere $8,577. this extravagant approach not only squanders taxpayer dollars but also raises questions about the administration's commitment to fiscal responsibility. But hey, when you're making a point, why not do it with the most expensive tools available? and we get to feed less poor moms on food stamps as a bonus
fascist piece of shit, and human thumb
being the most un-american mother fucker alive president donald frump shared the spotlight at his Las Vegas rally with none other than Stewart Rhodes, founder of the Oath Keepers militia and freshly pardoned convict, because nothing says patriotism like cozying up to a man convicted of plotting against the very government you're leading. Critics argue that elevating a seditionist to rally VIP sends a troubling message about the administration's stance on democracy, but hey, in today's political circus, who needs principles when you have pardons?
idk whats going on here but it looks intense
In a unified stand against President Trump's looming 25% tariffs, steelmakers in Canada and Mexico are hitting the brakes on new U.S. orders. Citing concerns over the impending duties, these producers are opting to sidestep the chaos, leaving American buyers scrambling. It's a bold move that underscores the deepening rift in North American trade relations, as allies push back against policies they see as disruptive and economically unsound. Consumers are going to have to pay more to for the same stuff, thanks mr dealmaker
some of the tuskegee airmen
the U.S. Air Force has removed training courses featuring the legendary Tuskegee Airmen and the Women Airforce Service Pilots (WASP) from basic training. This decision aligns with the Trump administration's recent executive order halting diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) initiatives. While the historical videos themselves aren't the issue, their association with DEI training led to their removal. wtf are we even doing here?
worlds richest man and grown ass baby is iced out by ice queen suzie wiles
Elon Musk's $250 million contribution to Trump's campaign apparently bought him a one-way ticket to the Eisenhower Executive Office Building. Despite being dubbed the 'real vice-president' by some, Musk's aspirations for a cozy West Wing office were iced by Chief of Staff Susie Wiles, who made it clear that solo acts aren't welcome in Trump's inner circle. Looks like Musk's high-priced bid for political clout fizzled faster than the adoration the American people used to have for him.
Saturday, January 25, 2025
**Kristi Noem arrives for Trump's inauguration, presumably ready to start 'securing' the homeland—one executive overreach at a time.**
In a move that surprises absolutely no one, the Senate has confirmed former South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem as Secretary of Homeland Security. With a vote of 59-34, Noem now gets to bring her exceptionally nuanced views on immigration to the forefront of Trump's second-term agenda. Because nothing says 'secure borders' like appointing someone eager to slap more executive band-aids on a crumbling immigration policy. Noem, who has made it her mission to dismantle the CPB One App and revive the 'Remain in Mexico' policy, joins Trump's rogues' gallery of cabinet members—joining the illustrious company of Marco Rubio and John Ratcliffe. Her enthusiasm for ending birthright citizenship, a constitutional right, apparently didn't deter the Senate. In other words, the dreams of dystopia are alive and well in Trump's America.
people in sacramento river, looking for trumps imaginary faucet I guess
In his latest display of hydro-logic, President Trump has suggested that California's water woes—and those pesky wildfires—could be solved by simply turning on a "very large faucet" to let millions of gallons flow south. According to Trump, this massive water source is just waiting to be unleashed, if only California would stop prioritizing a certain fish over human needs. Experts, however, are scratching their heads, noting that California's water primarily comes from the Sierra Nevada mountains, not some mythical northern spigot. But why let facts get in the way of a good plumbing analogy? After all, in Trump's world, complex environmental issues can be fixed with a simple twist of the wrist.
senile old man with ferret on head
raising eyebrows and alarm bells, President Trump plans to fire inspectors general across federal agencies, the very people tasked with rooting out corruption, fraud, and abuse. Because, apparently, who needs watchdogs when you can let the fox guard the henhouse? Critics warn this would undermine transparency, reduce oversight, and pave the way for unchecked power. After all, if there’s no one left to investigate misconduct, does it even count as corruption? The administration seems keen to find out.
trumps answer when asked "who in here is a rapist piece of shit?"
Donald Trump's second inauguration drew a mere 24.6 million viewers—making it the least-watched swearing-in since Obama's 2013 ceremony. That's 6 million fewer than his first inauguration and 9 million shy of Biden's 2021 event. Looks like even the 'silent majority' hit the snooze button this time, they're tired of his lame shit too
trump trying to figure out if he needs his diaper changed
President Donald Trump reportedly unleashed a "horrendous" tirade on Danish Prime Minister Mette Frederiksen, demanding the keys to Greenland. When Frederiksen reiterated that the icy island isn't on the market, Trump threatened punitive tariffs against Denmark. Because nothing says diplomacy like a tantrum over not being able to buy the world's largest ice cube.
gop is oddly obsessed with childrens genitalia
"patient confidentiality be damned," the frump administration has decided to drop charges against Dr. Eithan Haim, the Texas physician who took it upon himself to leak the medical records of transgender minors. Apparently, violating federal patient privacy laws is now a non-issue, especially if it aligns with the administration's rapid rollback of LGBTQ rights. Because nothing says "protecting children" like exposing their private health information to the public.
Hamline school, where full grown adults came to harass an 11 year old child
Nothing says "free democracy" like sending Secret Service agents to interrogate an 11 year old child student over a TikTok video mocking Donald Trump. The agents were reportedly blocked by Chicago school officials, but the attempt itself raises unsettling questions about abuse of power. Critics argue that this is the kind of heavy-handed behavior you'd expect from a regime, not a republic. When political thin skin leads to law enforcement knocking on kids' doors, it’s hard not to see the creeping shadow of authoritarianism. Welcome to Trump’s America: where even children aren’t safe from overreach.
some status having a heart attack after hearing donald frump was sworn back in
Because solving real issues is overrated, the Trump administration has officially renamed the Gulf of Mexico to the "Gulf of America." Clearly, this is the bold leadership we’ve all been waiting for—rebranding an entire body of water like it’s a failed hotel chain. Critics argue this move is diplomatically tone-deaf, but hey, who needs Mexico when you’ve got marketing genius? Next up: Mount Trumpmore?
the home of americas biggest welfare queens
In a whirlwind first week, President Donald Trump has swiftly removed or sidelined hundreds of federal employees, including top officials at the National Security Council, Justice Department, U.S. Coast Guard, and Transportation Security Administration. He also plans to dismiss over 1,000 officials appointed by former President Biden. These rapid changes have left many federal workers stunned and anxious about their job security and the future of the U.S. government.
fema workers not doing much but still being more useful than donald trump
In a recent tour of disaster-affected areas, President Trump suggested that FEMA might be more hindrance than help, proposing its elimination in favor of state-managed disaster responses. He argues that direct funding to states would streamline recovery efforts. However, critics point out that not all states have the resources or infrastructure to handle major disasters independently. But why let details like preparedness and resource allocation get in the way of a good shake-up? I guess that means states like California can keep their disaster money while states like Kentucky are cooked
the doj, the new seat of criminal activity in the us
President frump's Justice Department has decided that obstructing access to reproductive health clinics is no longer worth prosecuting—unless, of course, someone brings a battering ram. By limiting enforcement of the FACE Act to only the most "extraordinary circumstances," the administration seems to suggest that blocking clinic entrances is just another form of peaceful protest. Critics argue this shift effectively greenlights harassment of patients and providers, but hey, why let legal protections get in the way of a good old-fashioned clinic blockade?
a building full of geriatric people that get the free healthcare they don't think you deserve
Republicans are at it again, proposing to gut Medicaid so they can fund Trump’s immigration crackdowns and extend tax cuts for the wealthy. Because what’s a few hundred thousand low-income Americans losing healthcare when there are rich folks who might need a bigger yacht? The plan also targets non-U.S. citizens, because apparently, the best way to make America great is by making it harder for people to access basic care. Critics warn this could devastate vulnerable communities, but hey, at least the 1% can rest easy knowing their tax breaks are safe. Priorities!
