The Trump Presidency Timeline

Amidst the chaos and calamity of the Trump administration, the absurdity reaches new heights as the Cheeto-in-Chief signs off on expanding the power of Elon Musk’s precious Doge agency. Because who better to run the show than a billionaire playboy who names his kid after an algebra equation, right? In a move dripping with more narcissism than a reality TV star's Twitter feed, Trump’s latest executive order calls for a "transformation" in US spending, requiring agencies to bend the knee to Musk's merry band of misfits for all things financial. Because nothing says accountability like putting the fox in charge of the henhouse. Meanwhile, Musk, fresh off his Mars colonization daydreams, is busy playing whack-a-mole with government agencies, 'accidentally' axing Ebola-prevention efforts and leaving a trail of destruction in Doge’s path. But hey, who needs disaster relief when you’ve got Doge on the case, right?

An **Oklahoma Republican senator just lost his mind** over a bill to **ban schools from beating disabled children,** raging that it **violates the Bible** and is somehow **“socialist.”** Meanwhile, this same guy **wants mandatory Trump-branded Bibles in schools** and is **really passionate about deregulating donkey milk.** Priorities.

Consumer confidence just **took its biggest dive since 2021** as Americans brace for **inflation, job cuts, and Trump’s latest tariff spree.** Egg prices are soaring, **restaurants are adding surcharges for omelets,** and Trump is threatening **a 25% tax on Canada and Mexico**—because the **economic genius** is making groceries and basic goods **even more expensive.**

Trump just **scrapped a rule that stopped U.S. allies from using American weapons to commit war crimes**, because apparently **even the bare minimum of accountability was too much to ask.** Now, Israel and others can **bomb civilians with zero oversight**, all in the name of “America First.” Hope those “economic considerations” were worth it.

Grok, Musk’s **"maximally truth-seeking"** AI, briefly refused to deny that **Musk and Trump spread misinformation**—which, of course, was **immediately blamed on a rogue ex-OpenAI employee.** Meanwhile, Musk’s team had already **stepped in** to prevent the chatbot from suggesting that **Musk and Trump deserve the death penalty.** So much for that whole "understanding the universe" thing. Grok also says bernie sanders is the best candidate right now so he's no dummy

The administration’s purge of the ‘deep state’ has reached the CIA. A wave of firings and resignations is rocking the intelligence agency, with senior officials being ousted in what looks like a political loyalty test. This follows the broader shake-up across national security agencies, as Trump’s inner circle tightens its grip on intelligence operations. Critics warn that gutting experienced leadership could cripple the agency’s ability to respond to threats, but hey, who needs spies when you have sycophants? It’s not about national security—it’s about control.

The FBI is now under new management—MAGA management. The Senate narrowly confirmed Kash Patel as FBI director, installing a Trump loyalist with a history of attacking the bureau and pushing right-wing conspiracy theories. Patel, a former Trump aide with zero experience leading a law enforcement agency, now commands 30,000 employees and has sweeping surveillance powers. His confirmation was the tightest in FBI history, with even a couple of Republicans breaking ranks over concerns that Patel might—just maybe—politicize the bureau. Meanwhile, AG Pam Bondi is already hyping him up, warning “they better look out,” without specifying who “they” are. Subtle.

Utah Republicans are doubling down on their war against rainbows, expanding a Pride flag ban from schools to all government buildings and property—because nothing screams "freedom" like banning symbols of inclusion. HB77, sponsored by Rep. Trevor Lee (R-Layton), would allow flags for the U.S., Utah, military branches, other countries, Native American tribes, and universities, but would explicitly ban the Pride flag while conveniently permitting Nazi and Confederate flags for "educational purposes." During the bill’s hearing, LGBTQ+ students warned that erasing their visibility fuels suicide rates, while supporters argued that kids were being “offended” by Pride flags in schools. One parent equated it to forcing religion on students, apparently missing the irony of banning one symbol while defending another. The bill now heads to the full House floor, where Utah lawmakers will decide whether equality is truly more offensive than hate symbols. Even Senate Republicans couldn’t hide their exhaustion at yet another “flag bill.”

A Super Bowl halftime performer is now facing possible charges after holding up a Sudanese-Palestinian flag with “Sudan” and “Gaza” written on it during Kendrick Lamar’s performance. The NFL and police are investigating, because apparently, peaceful protest is a bigger offense than half the things happening in the league. The performer had hidden the flag and revealed it mid-show, leading the NFL and Roc Nation to quickly distance themselves from the act, claiming it wasn’t planned or rehearsed. Meanwhile, the actual game continued without a hitch, and unless you were watching very closely, you probably didn’t even see it on the broadcast. But sure, let’s make this the controversy of the night.

A commuter plane carrying 10 people crashed on sea ice near Nome, Alaska, marking one of the state’s deadliest aviation disasters in decades. The Bering Air flight vanished from radar after a sudden loss of altitude and speed, with no distress signal detected. Rescuers found only wreckage and ice. With harsh weather closing in, recovery teams are racing against time. In a state where flying is a lifeline, this tragedy hits hard. It also marks the third major U.S. aviation disaster in just eight days.

Well, well, well—another loudmouth “anti-grooming” crusader turns out to be the real predator. Aaron Craig Gleason, a 39-year-old middle school teacher, soccer coach, and right-wing writer, has been arrested and charged with molesting a child under the age of 12.

Yes, you read that right. The same Gleason who spent years accusing LGBTQ+ people of “grooming” children—writing for The Daily Wire, The Federalist, and The Imaginative Conservative—has now been charged with lewd and lascivious molestation of a child. Funny how it’s never the drag queens, but always the guys screaming the loudest about them.

Of course, The Daily Wire wasted no time scrubbing his author page from existence, as if that’ll erase the fact that he helped push their anti-LGBTQ+ hysteria. But the Internet Archive never forgets, and screenshots show he spent his time writing about Brett Kavanaugh and defending Trump supporters from accusations of being racist, sexist, and homophobic—because of course he did.

Gleason was arrested in Florida, because where else? He had been working as a teacher at Rocky Bayou Christian School, a fundamentalist conservative institution, where he had been on paid leave for two weeks before his arrest. The school’s superintendent sent out a vague email to parents asking for “prayers” for the school—because naturally, they care more about their reputation than the actual child who was harmed.

And let’s not forget: this is the same guy who posted a video of queer protesters chanting “We’re coming for your children” as a joke, and insisted it was proof of LGBTQ+ “grooming.” Turns out, he was the only predator in the room.

So here’s a fun question for all the right-wing media outlets that spent years screaming about drag queens, rainbow flags, and school library books corrupting kids: when are they going to start talking about the epidemic of child molesters in their own ranks?