The Trump Presidency Timeline

After only 137 short years — roughly the time it takes Congress to notice Native people exist — the Lumbee Tribe of North Carolina finally gets full federal recognition, not through some thoughtful, standalone civil rights measure, but stapled to a $900 billion Pentagon goody bag. Because nothing says respect for tribal sovereignty like, "Sure, we’ll recognize your existence, just as soon as we finish buying a few more missiles." Tribal Chairman John Lowery and Lumbee members traveled to D.C. to watch Donald Trump sign the bill, giving the former reality show landlord a photo op where he gets to pretend he personally ended 137 years of federal indifference. In reality, the Lumbee have been petitioning since 1888, got half-baked recognition in 1956, and only now get access to basic things like Indian Health Service, housing support, and education funding that other federally recognized tribes have had for decades. The Congressional Budget Office estimates about $250 million in health benefits over four years — which is, in Pentagon terms, the couch-cushion money they lose under one F-35. North Carolina Gov. Josh Stein applauded the move, pointing out that full recognition will finally let Lumbee citizens access health care, housing, child care, and disaster relief like other tribes. In other words, the federal government is bravely stepping up to do the thing it should have done before most of today’s members were born, and wants a round of applause for eventually clearing the lowest bar in human governance: acknowledging people exist and deserve health care. But hey, a win is a win, and in Trump’s America, getting justice via the National Defense Authorization Act apparently counts as progress.

In a shocking plot twist no one had on their 2025 bingo card, Donald Trump signed an executive order to fast-track moving cannabis off the same federal schedule as heroin and LSD and down to Schedule III—right next to Tylenol with codeine and ketamine, because nothing says "careful, dangerous narcotic" like the stuff your dentist gives you after a root canal.

Trump insisted this doesn't legalize marijuana "in any way, shape or form" and made sure to scold everyone that it’s "never safe" to use powerful controlled substances recreationally—apparently having discovered concern for public health somewhere between the Adderall jokes and the hydroxychloroquine phase. The order basically tells Attorney General Pam Bondi to stop slow-walking the rescheduling process and get the final rule out the door so the FDA can finally do the research it’s been pretending it can’t do for half a century.

The move would make it easier to study medical uses for seniors, veterans and other patients, and even nudges Congress to figure out CBD rules so Americans can access products that don’t get you high and are already in every gas station in the country. In other words, after decades of the federal government ruining lives over a plant, the Trump White House is now bragging about "removing barriers to research" while still refusing to support recreational legalization—even though 64% of Americans say marijuana should just be legal. But sure, let’s act like this baby step is bold visionary leadership and not the policy equivalent of quietly admitting the last 50 years were a massive, racist, carceral faceplant.

Mitch McConnell—the guy who spent years enabling Trump—is suddenly very concerned about Trump’s reckless trade war. Hours before becoming the only Republican senator to vote against Tulsi Gabbard’s confirmation as DNI, McConnell took to the Courier-Journal to slam Trump’s tariff plan, warning it will hurt Kentucky’s economy and cost the average Kentuckian up to $1,200 per year. He reminded readers that 75,000 Kentucky farms, the bourbon industry, and auto manufacturers all rely on international trade, meaning Trump’s tariffs could gut local businesses and put thousands of jobs at risk. McConnell even admitted “tariffs are bad policy” and that alienating allies will only hurt American workers. Fascinating, considering he spent years propping up the guy now wrecking the economy. So, congratulations, Mitch! You finally said something sensible—after helping create this disaster.

When 38 planes were forced to land in Gander, Newfoundland, on 9/11, the tiny town of 10,000 nearly doubled in size overnight. But instead of panic, the 'plane people' were met with open arms, hot meals, and a level of kindness that still baffles Newfoundlanders who insist they just did 'the right thing.' In a world increasingly defined by division and fear, Gander remains proof that decency isn’t complicated—you just treat people like people. Meanwhile, America, once a beacon for refugees and strangers, seems to have lost the plot. Maybe we should take notes from a town that never needed a lesson in basic humanity.

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ok I'm actually not mad at this, I'm for government transparency.