The Trump Presidency Timeline
Documenting the chaos since day one. 9 entries and counting.
charlie brown’s teacher sends cbs the bill
Stephen Colbert plays Peanuts music on CBS one last time while the network silently hears the ka-ching of copyright law in the background.
On his last night hosting The Late Show, Stephen Colbert had the band play the Peanuts classic Linus and Lucy while mock-worrying it might cost CBS some money — a line that aged about five minutes before becoming documentary evidence. The network has now quietly cut a check to Lee Mendelson Film Productions for using the song without a license, because even in the late stages of American democracy, copyright law still shows up on time.
The Peanuts rights-holders, who have been busily suing everyone from apparel companies to the actual US Department of the Interior for unlicensed use, say they’ll donate the undisclosed payout to World Central Kitchen, the disaster-relief nonprofit that’s somehow become a catch‑all response team for everything from hurricanes to presidents. Colbert himself already dropped $2.5m on WCK during his penultimate episode, meaning the comic who spent years shredding Trump and his enablers is now literally funding disaster relief while the corporate suits and government agencies get lectured on basic IP law by the people who own Snoopy.
The company’s chairman helpfully explained that their crusade is meant to “educate individuals, businesses, and government entities” about getting written licenses — a polite way of saying that in an era of authoritarian vibes, climate collapse, and democratic backsliding, at least one institution is still absolutely ruthless about enforcing rules: the people who control a cartoon jazz soundtrack from the 1960s.
Source: theguardian.com
trump admin accidentally does a decent thing by missing a deadline
Markwayne Mullin heroically protects 11,000 Lebanese immigrants by forgetting to do his job on time.
Source: theguardian.com
trump discovers indigenous rights buried in the defense budget
Lumbee Chairman John Lowery cries tears of joy as the U.S. government finally decides, after only 137 years, that his people are real enough to get health care — all while Trump collects the credit in the background like he personally invented Native sovereignty yesterday.
Source: npr.org
trump briefly discovers 'common sense,' moves weed down from heroin tier
Trump, flanked by officials, solemnly signs a piece of paper admitting—very slowly and very partially—that weed might not actually be heroin with better branding.
Trump insisted this doesn't legalize marijuana "in any way, shape or form" and made sure to scold everyone that it’s "never safe" to use powerful controlled substances recreationally—apparently having discovered concern for public health somewhere between the Adderall jokes and the hydroxychloroquine phase. The order basically tells Attorney General Pam Bondi to stop slow-walking the rescheduling process and get the final rule out the door so the FDA can finally do the research it’s been pretending it can’t do for half a century.
The move would make it easier to study medical uses for seniors, veterans and other patients, and even nudges Congress to figure out CBD rules so Americans can access products that don’t get you high and are already in every gas station in the country. In other words, after decades of the federal government ruining lives over a plant, the Trump White House is now bragging about "removing barriers to research" while still refusing to support recreational legalization—even though 64% of Americans say marijuana should just be legal. But sure, let’s act like this baby step is bold visionary leadership and not the policy equivalent of quietly admitting the last 50 years were a massive, racist, carceral faceplant.
Source: nbcnews.com
New Orleans Serves Up a Heaping Dose of Elon Hilarity
cybertrucks get bullied off of mardi gras parade route - fuck your swasticar
In a stunning exhibition of public disdain, New Orleans has turned the *Mardi Gras* into a parade of protest, pelting Cybertrucks with everything short of actual pitchforks, leaving their owners aghast and utterly clueless about why their *Pontificating Petulant Prince* wasn't exactly the belle of the ball. It’s almost charming to see them flounder in disbelief, like surprised goldfish in a sea of vitriol, blind to the fact that owning a car from *Dumb and Dumber’s* tech version of a dictator comes with consequences – namely, a barrage of beer cans and a collective *Fuck You* from the masses. Congrats, Cybertruck owners! You immortalized your vehicular blunders not just in misery, but in pure *comedic gold* for all the world to enjoy.
Source: vice.com
in typical gop fashion nobody gives a fuck till it hurts them, and the senile old man in clown make up is going to fuck kentucky, so mcconnel is trying to do the right thing
mitch "freeze turtle" mcconnel
Source: rawstory.com
throwback - canadians house stranded americans on 9-11
claude elliot - mayor of gander
Source: usatoday.com
air force does an about face on featuring tuskegee airmen in training videos
air force base gate
Source: reuters.com
trump to declassify documents on high profile murders mlk/jfk/etc
jfk