The Trump Presidency Timeline
Documenting the chaos since day one. 78 entries and counting.
google helps the pentagon turn 'don’t be evil' into an optional setting

Google and the Pentagon, seen here adjusting the 'evil' slider from OFF to 'as long as it’s classified.'
Google has reportedly signed on to let the Pentagon run its AI models on classified networks for basically “any lawful government purpose”, which is Washington-speak for: we’ll decide what’s lawful after we’ve done it. The deal includes Google helping the military tweak or dial down safety filters whenever the government asks, because nothing says "responsible AI" like handing the off-switch for guardrails to the same institution that brought you warrantless surveillance and forever wars.
The contract solemnly declares the AI system is not intended for domestic mass surveillance or autonomous weapons without appropriate human oversight — the kind of carefully lawyered phrase that will look great on the slide deck at the Hague. Google, now freed from its old promise not to build tech that causes "overall harm", insists this is all about national security, while also conceding it has no power to veto what the Pentagon actually does with the tools. The fox has signed a memorandum of understanding with the henhouse and agreed to provide premium analytics.
Inside the company, more than 600 employees are frantically waving little ethical red flags, begging Sundar Pichai not to let their work be used in "inhumane or extremely harmful ways" — a concern that was apparently edited out of the latest quarterly earnings report. This is the sequel to the 2018 Project Maven revolt, except this time Google didn’t walk away; it rewrote the rulebook so it wouldn’t have to. Meanwhile, Anthropic gets labeled a "supply-chain risk" for refusing to help with autonomous weapons and surveillance, which is Washington’s new term for "company that still has a functioning conscience."
Source: theguardian.com
navy secretary discovers donor loyalty has a shelf life

The Pentagon, seen here trying to speedrun the "purge your officer corps" chapter from the Authoritarian Starter Pack.
The Pentagon quietly announced that Navy Secretary John Phelan is "departing the administration, effective immediately," which is a very polite way of saying Reuters heard he was fired and everyone else is pretending this is fine. His replacement, at least for now, is Navy undersecretary Hung Cao, who has the rare distinction in this administration of having actually served in the military instead of just on a yacht with a flag.
Phelan, a major Trump donor with zero prior military or serious civilian leadership experience in the Navy, somehow landed the top civilian job anyway, because under Trump the chain of command starts with the checkbook. His résumé highlight? Founding an investment firm and advising a nonprofit called Spirit of America – which is basically like listing "I watched Top Gun twice" under relevant experience. He’s being tossed overboard just as the U.S. Navy is running a blockade of Iranian ports during a "tenuous" ceasefire in the Iran war, so naturally, there’s no explanation given for why the guy in charge got yanked mid-crisis.
This is all part of Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth’s ongoing game of four-star Whac-A-Mole, where he’s already fired the Army’s top officer, Gen Randy George, plus a growing list of generals, admirals, and senior defense officials for crimes such as "existing" and "having independent judgment." No reasons, no transparency, just a rolling purge of anyone who might remember that the military swears an oath to the Constitution, not to Donald Trump’s feelings.
Cao, for his part, is a 25-year Navy veteran and failed Virginia Senate candidate who once compared communist Vietnam to Joe Biden’s administration, so he’s got the combat experience and the Fox News audition tape this White House craves. The message from Trumpworld remains crystal clear: you can buy yourself a Cabinet job, but you can’t buy job security. The only truly stable thing in this Pentagon is the chaos.
Source: theguardian.com
america’s air traffic system continues its vibes-based experiment

America’s air traffic system, seen here running on alarms, adrenaline, and whatever’s left of the federal workforce’s will to live.
Both jets aborted their approaches, did go-arounds, and eventually landed safely, which is great news for the passengers and terrible news for anyone insisting the system is fine and definitely not being held together by overworked controllers, aging infrastructure, and blind luck. Pilots reported responding to RA (resolution advisory) alarms — the most serious collision warning — while controllers yelled evasive instructions over the radio, because apparently "don’t crash into each other" now requires multiple layers of frantic redundancy.
This all comes barely a month after LaGuardia saw a deadly collision where an Air Canada Express jet hit a fire truck, killing both pilots. So yes, from gutted agencies to chronic understaffing and a political movement that treats regulation like a personal insult, we are now in the thrilling new era of aviation safety where the plan is: hope the alarms work and pray nobody blinks at the wrong time.
Source: theguardian.com
scientists keep turning up dead, fbi finally looks up from hunter’s laptop

The FBI, seen here realizing that maybe a wave of dead scientists in an administration that hates science is not just a quirky coincidence.
Source: nbcnews.com
trump wants the ai with god-mode hacking… but only if he controls it

Anthropic CEO Dario Amodei, moments before being told his company is both a terrifying 'supply chain risk' and also absolutely essential, please sign here.
The Trump White House just had a "productive and constructive" meeting with Anthropic CEO Dario Amodei, which is a very diplomatic way of saying: the administration tried to kneecap his company for not handing over an all‑purpose surveillance and weapons bot, and now they need his new super hacker AI too badly to keep pretending.
Two months ago, the administration branded Anthropic a "supply chain risk" – the first US company ever publicly slapped with that label – right after Amodei refused the Pentagon's push for unfettered access to its tools over concerns they'd be used for mass domestic surveillance and fully autonomous weapons. Defence Secretary Pete Hegseth allegedly retaliated with the designation, a federal court largely agreed, and yet somehow the same agencies still quietly keep using Anthropic anyway. Regulation as performance art; procurement as addiction.
Trump, naturally, ranted that Anthropic was run by "left wing nut jobs" and vowed the government would "not do business with them again!" while his own bureaucracy continued doing business with them again, and again, and again. Now Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent and Chief of Staff Susie Wiles are huddling with Amodei to "explore the balance" between innovation and safety, which appears to translate to: how do we get this Mythos model that "outperforms humans at hacking" without admitting we weaponised procurement rules to punish a company for not building us a turnkey surveillance state?
Asked about the CEO’s White House visit, Trump claimed he had "no idea" it was happening, which is either a lie or an accidental confession that the government is negotiating access to a world‑class cyber weapon behind the back of the guy who keeps screaming on social media that he’s in charge. Either way, the message is clear: refuse to build mass spying tools and killer robots, get branded a national security threat… until your tech is too good to blacklist, at which point everyone pretends this was just a friendly chat about "shared protocols" and not a hostage negotiation with the future of civil liberties.
Source: bbc.com
trump explains nato to nato, threatens to stop pretending he understands it

NATO’s former chief politely explains that collective defense is not, in fact, a Trump loyalty program.
Source: nbcnews.com
trump bans ‘woke’ ai, volunteers u.s. infrastructure as target practice

Trump’s cybersecurity strategy, visualized: cut the brakes, rip out the airbags, and scream that seatbelts are woke.
America’s hospitals, airports, banks and transport networks are increasingly held together with duct tape, prayer, and 1990s code — so naturally, the Trump administration has decided the real threat is … the company trying to find the bugs. Anthropic’s new "Claude Mythos Preview" model is reportedly uncovering vulnerabilities in basically every major browser, OS, and even the Linux kernel — the digital plumbing that keeps everything from Netflix to your bank account from turning into ransomware performance art.
Security experts are calling this "Y2K-level alarming" and racing to use Mythos to patch the holes before some less ethical outfit ships a public version that lets script kiddies take down hospitals from a Starbucks Wi‑Fi. Apple, Microsoft, Google, banks, and regulators are quietly panicking and trying to harden their systems. The Trump White House’s contribution to this whole-of-society effort? Declaring war on Anthropic, banning federal agencies and the military from using its tools, and branding the company "radical left" and "woke" because it won’t turn its models into a turnkey mass-surveillance system for spying on Americans.
So while the Treasury secretary and the Fed chair are urgently warning Wall Street about AI-driven cyberattacks and bioweapon design assistance, Trump’s political brain trust is busy making sure the government’s already rickety systems cannot use one of the best tools to secure them. The administration would rather posture about culture-war purity than keep hospitals online and planes in the sky. Superintelligent AI might someday destabilize society, but for now the most dangerous algorithm in Washington is still the one in Trump’s head that maps "protect critical infrastructure" to "own the libs".
Source: theguardian.com
trump nearly discovers war crimes are bad… calls it victory instead

Trump stares at a map of the Middle East like it’s a golf scorecard, confidently declaring victory over a crisis he started and can’t actually end.
The White House war-brain trust managed to stumble right up to the edge of openly committing war crimes, with Trump threatening to target civilian infrastructure as one of his "options" — because nothing says "we’re the good guys" like workshopping crimes against humanity on live TV. Meanwhile, the Pentagon gamed out brilliant choices like bombing Kharg Island or fighting to reopen the Strait of Hormuz, any of which would have locked the US into a longer, bloodier conflict that nobody could plausibly spin as "winning" outside of Fox News chyron writers.
Now we get Islamabad talks: a desperate group project where the US tries to promise it won’t start bombing again, Iran pretends it might limit threatening shipping lanes, and everyone quietly hopes China, Europe, and the UK will serve as adult supervision. The nuclear file is back on the table, inspectors might be allowed in again, and sanctions relief is the only thing that could make any of this saleable at home — which means it’ll be treated in Washington as a form of treason.
The best part? Even this fragile ceasefire doesn’t actually cover the rest of the neighborhood. Israel is still hammering Hezbollah, Gulf states want compensation and real security guarantees after being used as target practice, and the broader regional order remains one bad day away from collapse. US forces are still building up, the risk of escalation is "hovering" over everything, and the narrow window for peace depends on the same people who thought this war was a good idea in the first place. So yes, the crisis is "paused" — like a disaster movie when the director hits stop to get more popcorn.
Source: theguardian.com
jd vance warns iran to be reasonable while trump plays nuclear chicken

JD Vance bravely urges Iran to act in good faith while standing next to the guy who just threatened to level the country like a bored 12-year-old in a war simulator.
Source: theguardian.com
two-week ceasefire in the war trump helped start, what could go wrong

Trump explains that a two-week ceasefire is actually the greatest peace deal in history, if you ignore everything that happened before day one and after day fourteen.
Source: nbcnews.com
trump shrugs off downed u.s. jet, keeps selling his iran war

Trump, moments before explaining how a downed U.S. jet is both no big deal and also the perfect reason to start a war.
Source: nbcnews.com
america’s skies continue their exciting ‘vibes-based’ air traffic experiment

A commercial jet lines up for landing while a Black Hawk casually auditions for a role as hood ornament.
Source: theguardian.com
another trump counterterrorism chief nopes out

Joe Kent, Trump’s former top counterterrorism official, seen here realizing the real threat to national security was his own chain of command.
The Trump administration’s top counterterrorism official, Joe Kent, has resigned, because apparently the War on Terror was no match for the War on Basic Competence happening inside this White House. NPR’s Steve Inskeep is talking to Kent’s co-author Marty Skovlund, presumably to answer the burning question: what finally broke him—policy disagreements, ethical lines, or just too many meetings where the president asked if ISIS could be solved with a tweet and a golf summit?
Yet again, the person in charge of keeping Americans safe from terrorists has decided that staying in Trump’s national security apparatus is somehow less safe than leaving it. At this point, the counterterrorism portfolio looks like a revolving door with a security clearance. But sure, sleep well, America—your terrorist threat matrix is being updated by whoever hasn’t resigned, been sidelined, or rage-quit on live TV this week.
Source: npr.org
president suggests u.s. maybe too murdery for iran’s soccer team

Nothing says "we guarantee athlete safety" like the commander in chief hinting visiting players might not make it out of L.A. alive.
President Donald Trump hopped on Truth Social to let the world know that while Iran’s national soccer team is technically "welcome" at the 2026 World Cup in the U.S., he "really doesn’t believe it is appropriate that they be there, for their own life and safety." You know, just the president of the United States casually implying he can’t vouch for whether visiting athletes might get killed if they show up. Very normal, extremely reassuring, top-tier tourism slogan material.
Iran’s sports minister Ahmad Donyamali had already said Iran won’t participate because the U.S.-Israeli war with Iran killed Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei and other top officials. So Iran is boycotting on account of that whole "you assassinated our leadership" thing, while Trump responds by basically saying, yeah, and also, can’t promise your players won’t get whacked if they come either. The global norm since Munich 1972 has been that athletes are sacrosanct; Trump’s norm is that they’re just another prop in his forever grievance theater.
For bonus whiplash, this tough-guy warning comes the same week Trump offered asylum to Iran’s women’s team if Australia wouldn’t take them — a split-screen where he plays savior for women athletes while hinting the men’s team might not survive a trip to Los Angeles and Seattle. Diplomatic "sportswashing" used to mean regimes using games to look better; under Trump, it’s the U.S. using the World Cup to advertise that even athlete safety is now a negotiable part of his foreign policy cosplay.
Source: nbcnews.com
commander-in-tweet shuts the strait of hormuz

US warships guard an empty shipping lane while Trump rage-posts about mines that aren’t the main problem. What could go wrong?
Lawmakers got a classified briefing in which, according to Sen. Chris Murphy, the Pentagon basically admitted they have no idea how to safely reopen a chokepoint that carries a fifth of the world’s oil. Meanwhile, the Islamic Revolutionary Guard has effectively shut down the strait, oil prices are spiking, and ship operators are understandably refusing to play "suicide run" with their crews. The White House, asked about all this, pointed reporters back to Trump’s social media threats as if that counts as a policy. National security by vibes and gas prices by roulette wheel is apparently the entire plan.
Energy secretary Chris Wright went on TV to insist that the US has destroyed “many” of Iran’s weapons and that traffic will resume in “a few weeks,” without offering details, math, or reality. Within days, at least three ships were still hit in and around the strait, including a Thai bulk carrier Iran openly claimed. So the current US posture is: we launched our biggest attack of the war, we can’t guarantee we can protect tankers, crews don’t want to sail, Iran is still hitting ships, and the White House is outsourcing its messaging to Trump’s unhinged posts. But relax, they’ve totally got this under control.
Source: theguardian.com
trump discovers new iranian weapons system: vibes-based tomahawks

Trump explains the Iran war using the same research methodology he used for COVID: none.
Source: nbcnews.com
dea runs nuclear weapons cosplay, accidentally finds real plutonium

Artist’s rendition of global nuclear security: one Geiger counter, several warlords, and a DEA agent LARPing as an Iranian general.
American law enforcement just reenacted every neocon fever dream: an undercover DEA agent pretended to be an Iranian general in charge of Tehran’s nuclear weapons program, and a Japanese "Yakuza boss" – who may actually just be a garden-variety conman – tried to sell him heroin, meth, rocket launchers, and, oh right, weapons-grade plutonium. Because when you picture nuclear proliferation, you obviously think: Myanmar rebels, Golden Triangle drug routes, and a guy who calls uranium and meth "cake and ice cream" like he’s running a cursed Baskin-Robbins.
The US calls this a "resounding success" in nuclear security, which is one way to describe discovering that insurgent groups in Myanmar are apparently mining uranium while porous borders, weak customs, and nonexistent radiation detection let nuclear material wander around the planet like it’s backpacking through Europe. Experts are now stuck asking the fun question: if this random drug-smuggling side-hustler had weapons-grade plutonium samples, where did they actually come from, and how much more is out there? The official answer so far is: ¯\(ツ)/¯, but with more footnotes.
Meanwhile, the DEA’s sting relied on the classic Washington script: pretend Iran is buying nukes, then point to Iran to justify endless war talk about Iran’s nuclear program… while the real problem is unsecured material leaking from everywhere else. So yes, we’re bombing and sanctioning one country over a program it denies, while weapons-grade plutonium is apparently available via insurgent WhatsApp in Myanmar. Strong work, global nuclear order.
Source: theguardian.com
trump’s foreign policy chickens attempt to roost

Artist’s impression of US foreign policy: one guy on trial in Brooklyn, several guys erased by a missile, and Trump on TV declaring it all a personal win.
Source: theguardian.com
americans stranded, warships sunk, but trump’s busy with a texas primary

Americans at a packed Middle East airport discovering the Trump evacuation plan is basically: ‘have you tried not being there?’
The Middle East is erupting, a U.S. submarine has just torpedoed an Iranian warship, and thousands of Americans are now stranded trying to get out. So naturally, the Trump administration is laser-focused on the most urgent national priority: endorsing someone in a nasty Texas Senate primary. Foreign policy? Consular protection? Evacuation planning? Please, there are donors to impress and cable hits to book.
While Americans scramble for flights and wonder if their government remembers they exist, the war footing ramps up and the White House treats them like inconvenient background extras in Trump’s latest ratings stunt. The State Department’s message appears to be: good luck, stay safe, and don’t forget to vote for whoever Dear Leader blesses in Texas. It’s a perfect snapshot of Trump-era national security: play battleship with Iran on live TV, then shrug when actual Americans get caught in the middle.
Rule of law, international norms, and basic duty of care to citizens are all gently placed in the shredder while the administration chases its next domestic political “win.” The only real evacuation plan seems to be evacuating responsibility.
Source: nbcnews.com
trump considers nukes and war, decides to ‘wait and see’

President Trump, pausing on the stairs of Air Force One to ponder whether to extend diplomacy or just speedrun another Middle East war.