The Trump Presidency Timeline
Documenting the chaos since day one. 65 entries and counting.
terror commander allegedly plots to kill america’s favorite unpaid brand ambassador

B-roll of federal agents escorting an alleged terror commander, while somewhere in Florida a presidential daughter wonders if trademark law covers counterterrorism.
Mohammad Al-Saadi, an alleged commander of Kata’ib Hizballah, has been indicted on eight counts tied to nearly 20 attacks and attempted attacks across Europe, Canada, and the U.S. Prosecutors say he helped direct assaults on U.S. banks, synagogues, and Jewish communities — essentially running a global terror franchise with a very specific target demographic. Because this timeline is cursed, sources now say he also talked about wanting to target Ivanka Trump in Florida, presumably to avenge U.S. strikes on his mentors.
The Justice Department’s indictment somehow skips the part about the alleged Ivanka plot, leaving that detail to quietly leak out via reporters and the New York Post, which is what passes for a communications strategy in the Trump era: indict in formal legalese, leak the really explosive parts to tabloids, and let the rest of us connect the dots. The White House and Secret Service didn’t respond to questions — possibly busy workshopping whether this will be used to justify more crackdowns, more surveillance, or just more fundraising emails about how only Trump can protect the Trump family.
Acting Attorney General Todd Blanche vowed to prosecute Al-Saadi “under American law in an American courtroom,” which is a refreshing commitment to due process from an administration that usually treats the justice system like a personal Yelp account. Meanwhile, the same crew that screams about "weaponized DOJ" every time someone with an R after their name gets indicted is now suddenly thrilled to have federal prosecutors flexing their muscles — as long as the case can be framed as defending the royal family’s favorite influencer from a foreign boogeyman.
Source: nbcnews.com
trump’s assad-curious dni taps out

Tulsi Gabbard, director of national intelligence, seen here pondering which classified document to accidentally light on fire next.
Source: nbcnews.com
commander-in-chief plays european risk via truth social

Trump in the Oval Office, mid-gesture, presumably explaining how NATO works to the Pentagon by drawing arrows on a Risk board.
Source: nytimes.com
trump discovers you can auction off other people’s security

Trump and Xi at the Temple of Heaven, reportedly discussing which democracies are most negotiable this quarter.
While insisting U.S. policy on Taiwan is totally not changing, Trump has basically adopted Xi’s talking points, describing Taiwan as a "problem" to be solved and stressing he’s "not looking to have somebody go independent." Translation: democracy is nice, but have you tried a really sweet trade deal? U.S. policy has long barred discussing Taiwan arms sales with Beijing, but Trump is out here turning that firewall into a suggestion box.
Lai, labeled a "separatist" and "troublemaker" by China, is now stuck trying to convince Trump not to sell him out for a better photo op with Xi — all while Chinese warplanes and ships buzz Taiwan almost daily. As one political scientist notes, any Trump–Lai call would start with Taiwan in a "position of weakness" and a "relatively high" chance of ending badly for the island. So yes, Taiwan might finally get its coveted presidential call. It just comes with the small risk that Trump will treat their survival as a line item in his next Art of the (Xi’s) Deal rewrite.
Beijing, for its part, is demanding "utmost prudence" from Washington, which is adorable given they’re talking to the man who thinks foreign policy is just real estate with aircraft carriers.
Source: nbcnews.com
cia director pops down to havana, what could possibly go wrong

CIA director arrives in Havana to explain democracy, human rights, and also maybe swap a few tips on how to ignore both.
The visit gets packaged as routine diplomacy, but when the same administration spends its days screaming about socialist dictators and its nights sending the CIA to chat them up, you’re not watching foreign policy, you’re watching a shadow franchise of the Trump show. Congress is sidelined, the public is in the dark, and America’s intelligence apparatus is out doing secret deals while the president live-streams his own greatness from Beijing. Accountability? Transparency? Those must have missed their flight to Havana.
Source: nbcnews.com
trump rage-quits nato, accidentally reboots german militarism

Four European leaders outside Downing Street trying to pretend they still live in a world where the American president isn’t blowing up NATO because someone hurt his feelings.
Source: theguardian.com
trump turns nato into his personal eviction game

A US soldier in Germany, unaware that his deployment now depends on the president’s latest social media meltdown.
Source: bbc.com
google helps the pentagon turn 'don’t be evil' into an optional setting

Google and the Pentagon, seen here adjusting the 'evil' slider from OFF to 'as long as it’s classified.'
Google has reportedly signed on to let the Pentagon run its AI models on classified networks for basically “any lawful government purpose”, which is Washington-speak for: we’ll decide what’s lawful after we’ve done it. The deal includes Google helping the military tweak or dial down safety filters whenever the government asks, because nothing says "responsible AI" like handing the off-switch for guardrails to the same institution that brought you warrantless surveillance and forever wars.
The contract solemnly declares the AI system is not intended for domestic mass surveillance or autonomous weapons without appropriate human oversight — the kind of carefully lawyered phrase that will look great on the slide deck at the Hague. Google, now freed from its old promise not to build tech that causes "overall harm", insists this is all about national security, while also conceding it has no power to veto what the Pentagon actually does with the tools. The fox has signed a memorandum of understanding with the henhouse and agreed to provide premium analytics.
Inside the company, more than 600 employees are frantically waving little ethical red flags, begging Sundar Pichai not to let their work be used in "inhumane or extremely harmful ways" — a concern that was apparently edited out of the latest quarterly earnings report. This is the sequel to the 2018 Project Maven revolt, except this time Google didn’t walk away; it rewrote the rulebook so it wouldn’t have to. Meanwhile, Anthropic gets labeled a "supply-chain risk" for refusing to help with autonomous weapons and surveillance, which is Washington’s new term for "company that still has a functioning conscience."
Source: theguardian.com
navy secretary discovers donor loyalty has a shelf life

The Pentagon, seen here trying to speedrun the "purge your officer corps" chapter from the Authoritarian Starter Pack.
The Pentagon quietly announced that Navy Secretary John Phelan is "departing the administration, effective immediately," which is a very polite way of saying Reuters heard he was fired and everyone else is pretending this is fine. His replacement, at least for now, is Navy undersecretary Hung Cao, who has the rare distinction in this administration of having actually served in the military instead of just on a yacht with a flag.
Phelan, a major Trump donor with zero prior military or serious civilian leadership experience in the Navy, somehow landed the top civilian job anyway, because under Trump the chain of command starts with the checkbook. His résumé highlight? Founding an investment firm and advising a nonprofit called Spirit of America – which is basically like listing "I watched Top Gun twice" under relevant experience. He’s being tossed overboard just as the U.S. Navy is running a blockade of Iranian ports during a "tenuous" ceasefire in the Iran war, so naturally, there’s no explanation given for why the guy in charge got yanked mid-crisis.
This is all part of Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth’s ongoing game of four-star Whac-A-Mole, where he’s already fired the Army’s top officer, Gen Randy George, plus a growing list of generals, admirals, and senior defense officials for crimes such as "existing" and "having independent judgment." No reasons, no transparency, just a rolling purge of anyone who might remember that the military swears an oath to the Constitution, not to Donald Trump’s feelings.
Cao, for his part, is a 25-year Navy veteran and failed Virginia Senate candidate who once compared communist Vietnam to Joe Biden’s administration, so he’s got the combat experience and the Fox News audition tape this White House craves. The message from Trumpworld remains crystal clear: you can buy yourself a Cabinet job, but you can’t buy job security. The only truly stable thing in this Pentagon is the chaos.
Source: theguardian.com
america’s air traffic system continues its vibes-based experiment

America’s air traffic system, seen here running on alarms, adrenaline, and whatever’s left of the federal workforce’s will to live.
Both jets aborted their approaches, did go-arounds, and eventually landed safely, which is great news for the passengers and terrible news for anyone insisting the system is fine and definitely not being held together by overworked controllers, aging infrastructure, and blind luck. Pilots reported responding to RA (resolution advisory) alarms — the most serious collision warning — while controllers yelled evasive instructions over the radio, because apparently "don’t crash into each other" now requires multiple layers of frantic redundancy.
This all comes barely a month after LaGuardia saw a deadly collision where an Air Canada Express jet hit a fire truck, killing both pilots. So yes, from gutted agencies to chronic understaffing and a political movement that treats regulation like a personal insult, we are now in the thrilling new era of aviation safety where the plan is: hope the alarms work and pray nobody blinks at the wrong time.
Source: theguardian.com
scientists keep turning up dead, fbi finally looks up from hunter’s laptop

The FBI, seen here realizing that maybe a wave of dead scientists in an administration that hates science is not just a quirky coincidence.
Source: nbcnews.com
trump wants the ai with god-mode hacking… but only if he controls it

Anthropic CEO Dario Amodei, moments before being told his company is both a terrifying 'supply chain risk' and also absolutely essential, please sign here.
The Trump White House just had a "productive and constructive" meeting with Anthropic CEO Dario Amodei, which is a very diplomatic way of saying: the administration tried to kneecap his company for not handing over an all‑purpose surveillance and weapons bot, and now they need his new super hacker AI too badly to keep pretending.
Two months ago, the administration branded Anthropic a "supply chain risk" – the first US company ever publicly slapped with that label – right after Amodei refused the Pentagon's push for unfettered access to its tools over concerns they'd be used for mass domestic surveillance and fully autonomous weapons. Defence Secretary Pete Hegseth allegedly retaliated with the designation, a federal court largely agreed, and yet somehow the same agencies still quietly keep using Anthropic anyway. Regulation as performance art; procurement as addiction.
Trump, naturally, ranted that Anthropic was run by "left wing nut jobs" and vowed the government would "not do business with them again!" while his own bureaucracy continued doing business with them again, and again, and again. Now Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent and Chief of Staff Susie Wiles are huddling with Amodei to "explore the balance" between innovation and safety, which appears to translate to: how do we get this Mythos model that "outperforms humans at hacking" without admitting we weaponised procurement rules to punish a company for not building us a turnkey surveillance state?
Asked about the CEO’s White House visit, Trump claimed he had "no idea" it was happening, which is either a lie or an accidental confession that the government is negotiating access to a world‑class cyber weapon behind the back of the guy who keeps screaming on social media that he’s in charge. Either way, the message is clear: refuse to build mass spying tools and killer robots, get branded a national security threat… until your tech is too good to blacklist, at which point everyone pretends this was just a friendly chat about "shared protocols" and not a hostage negotiation with the future of civil liberties.
Source: bbc.com
trump explains nato to nato, threatens to stop pretending he understands it

NATO’s former chief politely explains that collective defense is not, in fact, a Trump loyalty program.
Source: nbcnews.com
trump bans ‘woke’ ai, volunteers u.s. infrastructure as target practice

Trump’s cybersecurity strategy, visualized: cut the brakes, rip out the airbags, and scream that seatbelts are woke.
America’s hospitals, airports, banks and transport networks are increasingly held together with duct tape, prayer, and 1990s code — so naturally, the Trump administration has decided the real threat is … the company trying to find the bugs. Anthropic’s new "Claude Mythos Preview" model is reportedly uncovering vulnerabilities in basically every major browser, OS, and even the Linux kernel — the digital plumbing that keeps everything from Netflix to your bank account from turning into ransomware performance art.
Security experts are calling this "Y2K-level alarming" and racing to use Mythos to patch the holes before some less ethical outfit ships a public version that lets script kiddies take down hospitals from a Starbucks Wi‑Fi. Apple, Microsoft, Google, banks, and regulators are quietly panicking and trying to harden their systems. The Trump White House’s contribution to this whole-of-society effort? Declaring war on Anthropic, banning federal agencies and the military from using its tools, and branding the company "radical left" and "woke" because it won’t turn its models into a turnkey mass-surveillance system for spying on Americans.
So while the Treasury secretary and the Fed chair are urgently warning Wall Street about AI-driven cyberattacks and bioweapon design assistance, Trump’s political brain trust is busy making sure the government’s already rickety systems cannot use one of the best tools to secure them. The administration would rather posture about culture-war purity than keep hospitals online and planes in the sky. Superintelligent AI might someday destabilize society, but for now the most dangerous algorithm in Washington is still the one in Trump’s head that maps "protect critical infrastructure" to "own the libs".
Source: theguardian.com
trump nearly discovers war crimes are bad… calls it victory instead

Trump stares at a map of the Middle East like it’s a golf scorecard, confidently declaring victory over a crisis he started and can’t actually end.
The White House war-brain trust managed to stumble right up to the edge of openly committing war crimes, with Trump threatening to target civilian infrastructure as one of his "options" — because nothing says "we’re the good guys" like workshopping crimes against humanity on live TV. Meanwhile, the Pentagon gamed out brilliant choices like bombing Kharg Island or fighting to reopen the Strait of Hormuz, any of which would have locked the US into a longer, bloodier conflict that nobody could plausibly spin as "winning" outside of Fox News chyron writers.
Now we get Islamabad talks: a desperate group project where the US tries to promise it won’t start bombing again, Iran pretends it might limit threatening shipping lanes, and everyone quietly hopes China, Europe, and the UK will serve as adult supervision. The nuclear file is back on the table, inspectors might be allowed in again, and sanctions relief is the only thing that could make any of this saleable at home — which means it’ll be treated in Washington as a form of treason.
The best part? Even this fragile ceasefire doesn’t actually cover the rest of the neighborhood. Israel is still hammering Hezbollah, Gulf states want compensation and real security guarantees after being used as target practice, and the broader regional order remains one bad day away from collapse. US forces are still building up, the risk of escalation is "hovering" over everything, and the narrow window for peace depends on the same people who thought this war was a good idea in the first place. So yes, the crisis is "paused" — like a disaster movie when the director hits stop to get more popcorn.
Source: theguardian.com
jd vance warns iran to be reasonable while trump plays nuclear chicken

JD Vance bravely urges Iran to act in good faith while standing next to the guy who just threatened to level the country like a bored 12-year-old in a war simulator.
Source: theguardian.com
two-week ceasefire in the war trump helped start, what could go wrong

Trump explains that a two-week ceasefire is actually the greatest peace deal in history, if you ignore everything that happened before day one and after day fourteen.
Source: nbcnews.com
trump shrugs off downed u.s. jet, keeps selling his iran war

Trump, moments before explaining how a downed U.S. jet is both no big deal and also the perfect reason to start a war.
Source: nbcnews.com
america’s skies continue their exciting ‘vibes-based’ air traffic experiment

A commercial jet lines up for landing while a Black Hawk casually auditions for a role as hood ornament.
Source: theguardian.com
another trump counterterrorism chief nopes out

Joe Kent, Trump’s former top counterterrorism official, seen here realizing the real threat to national security was his own chain of command.
The Trump administration’s top counterterrorism official, Joe Kent, has resigned, because apparently the War on Terror was no match for the War on Basic Competence happening inside this White House. NPR’s Steve Inskeep is talking to Kent’s co-author Marty Skovlund, presumably to answer the burning question: what finally broke him—policy disagreements, ethical lines, or just too many meetings where the president asked if ISIS could be solved with a tweet and a golf summit?
Yet again, the person in charge of keeping Americans safe from terrorists has decided that staying in Trump’s national security apparatus is somehow less safe than leaving it. At this point, the counterterrorism portfolio looks like a revolving door with a security clearance. But sure, sleep well, America—your terrorist threat matrix is being updated by whoever hasn’t resigned, been sidelined, or rage-quit on live TV this week.
Source: npr.org