The Trump Presidency Timeline

Donald Trump’s latest golf spree has extracted a jaw-dropping $18 million+ from taxpayers, proving once again that his favorite pastime is dollar-sign-distracted vacationing while Americans work to pay the bills. Only 48 days into office, he’s already chalked up more green time than most zebra-striped greens—14 days on the links, folks! Meanwhile, he promises he's too 'busy' to swing a club on official trips, a claim made while racking up costs that could fund a small army, or at least a decent daycare. As if we needed further proof of the stunning hypocrisy of an elite enjoying leisure on the public's dime while pretending to lead.

In a stunning display of political myopia, Donald Trump crusades against the Chips Act, aiming to siphon off $52.7 billion meant to boost American semiconductor production and dump it into the bottomless pit of national debt. Forget about innovation and job creation; who needs those when you can take a wrecking ball to bipartisan progress, all while blathering about 'bad money’ and promoting tariffs? This absurdity isn't just self-serving greed; it’s a direct assault on the livelihoods of thousands and a slap in the face to the very companies trying to keep America competitive. Bravo, Mr. Trump! Just when we thought you couldn’t get any more incompetent, you redefine the meaning of governance. Congratulations!

As investors finally wake up to the disaster that is Trump's tariff hysterics, the market is flailing like a fish out of water, scrambling to escape the stupidity of a 34% average tariff on China while the dollar plummets into the abyss. Who needs international trade when you can just slap hefty fees on your neighbors and watch as allies flee? Leaving CEO panic in his wake, Trump’s chaotic threats ensure a legislative nightmare we didn’t ask for, and analysts are left sounding like fortune tellers in a storm. Good luck finding stability in a market governed by a toddler’s tantrums!

In a ludicrous display of economic self-sabotage, President Trump’s 25% tariffs on Canadian and Mexican goods have sent the stock market plummeting faster than a lead balloon. The Nasdaq nosedives by 2.6%, while the Dow sinks like a stone, leaving investors gasping for air as Europe's markets laugh all the way to the bank. With U.S. manufacturers choking on rising supply costs and inflation lurking like an ex at a wedding, it’s a beautiful day to watch American financial stability melt down like an ice cream cone in July. If you needed proof that the circus has taken over the White House, look no further.

In a stunning display of economic acrobatics, the Trump administration's Commerce Secretary nominee, Howard Lutnick, proposes to magically transform government spending into a disappearing act from GDP reports, as if slashing federal agencies won't rain down hell on the economy. This bizarre rationale, borrowed straight from Elon Musk's fantasy land, essentially claims that paying people to think is less valid than purchasing a single tank. Meanwhile, tens of thousands of federal workers face the prospect of job cuts, all while these clowns tout 'transparency' as they dive headfirst into this absurdly logical charade. Watch as they redefine 'growth' in a way that would make Orwell blush—all under the illusion that cutting essential services is the path to nirvana. Expect the best economy ever, folks, just as soon as they find a way to ignore reality!

House Republicans just **voted to gut Medicaid and food assistance** for **millions of low-income Americans**—all to **fund massive tax breaks for the rich.** The plan? **Slash $880 billion from Medicaid**, kick **9 million people off SNAP**, and still **only cover 20% of Trump’s tax giveaways.** But don’t worry, billionaires and big corporations are getting **exactly what they paid for.**

Trump’s **biggest cost-cutting stunt** turns out to be **a total scam**, with nearly **40% of canceled contracts saving exactly $0**—because **you can’t “cut costs” on money that’s already been spent.** Meanwhile, Musk’s **Department of Government Efficiency** is bragging about **slashing research, training, and even paid media subscriptions**, because nothing says **fiscal responsibility** like **cancelling contracts for office furniture and carpet cleaning.**

Trump **deployed thousands of troops to the border** for a **crisis that doesn’t exist**, and now they’re **sitting around collecting six-figure salaries** to do **absolutely nothing**—except maybe boost the local bar economy. Meanwhile, asylum is **shut down entirely**, but sure, let’s keep paying for military helicopters to **patrol empty fields** for the sake of “tough of looking like a tough guy.” even though hes 350lbs doesnt exercise wears clown make up and destroys big macs

Trump’s watchdog-for-hire, Elon Musk’s DOGE, has put a $1 spending limit on government employee credit cards, because nothing says ‘efficiency’ like forcing bureaucrats to file reimbursement paperwork for a cup of coffee. This new policy, already in place at the GSA and several agencies, is set to roll out across the entire federal workforce. Employees who need to spend more than a dollar (so… everyone) now have to request approval on a case-by-case basis, ensuring the government grinds to an absolute halt. Critics argue that the move will create more inefficiency and red tape, but hey, at least it’ll stop those rogue scientists from splurging on pens and lab equipment.

Elon Musk’s crusade to slash $2 trillion from federal spending through the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) is flopping harder than a Tesla Cybertruck demo. Despite mass layoffs, gutted agencies, and splashy press releases, the actual impact on federal spending is about as significant as a SpaceX rocket that never leaves the launchpad. Turns out, gutting research budgets and cutting office supplies doesn’t exactly move the needle when defense, Medicare, and Social Security make up most of the budget. Meanwhile, bipartisan pushback, lawsuits, and general government inertia have slowed Musk’s war on bureaucracy to a crawl. But don’t worry—he’s still got time to post memes about it.

Trump’s private club security is now a public expense, with Palm Beach County scrambling to cover $45 million in overtime for the sheriff’s office. After the second assassination attempt, security costs skyrocketed, and now county taxpayers are footing the bill while officials hope the federal government will reimburse them—eventually. Meanwhile, residents are fed up with non-stop helicopter noise, as Trump’s security detail flies laps over neighborhoods for hours a day. Even before these costs, the sheriff’s budget was outpacing inflation, meaning county services are being squeezed just to protect one man’s golf club. But don’t worry, Trump’s still calling himself a "fiscal conservative."

Trump is back in court, this time suing CBS for $20 billion—yes, billion—because a "60 Minutes" edit supposedly cost his social media site traffic. His lawyers argue that editing an interview with Kamala Harris was "false advertising" that unfairly steered attention away from Truth Social. You know, because the real reason people aren’t using Truth Social must be CBS and definitely not the fact that it’s a flaming dumpster fire of a platform. The lawsuit, filed in Texas (after some convenient forum shopping), is being widely dismissed as frivolous, but that’s never stopped Trump before. Meanwhile, CBS has released the unedited transcript, proving the edits were for time constraints—something Fox News literally did with Trump’s own interview last year. But hey, why let facts get in the way when you can shake down a media company for billions while they're in the middle of a merger?

Ah yes, billionaire and unelected government official Elon Musk is at it again—this time taking an axe to the IRS team responsible for free, easy tax filing. Because "small government" means making sure working Americans have to pay for tax prep services instead of using a free online tool. Right-wing influencers convinced Musk that Direct File—a simple, optional system—was some kind of socialist plot, so he proudly announced, “That group has been deleted.” Meanwhile, the website is still running, which suggests Musk doesn’t actually understand how government infrastructure works. But hey, hurting regular people is the real goal here, and on that front, mission accomplished.

Trump’s latest tax plan is a $5 to $11 trillion budget-busting free-for-all that would balloon the national debt to as much as 149% of GDP by 2035—but hey, at least billionaires get their tax cuts! His proposals include extending the 2017 tax cuts, slashing taxes on tips and overtime, cutting Social Security taxes, and tossing a bone to domestic manufacturers. The catch? No serious plan to pay for any of it. Meanwhile, interest costs alone could soar by up to $2.7 trillion in the next decade, pushing the economy toward a debt spiral. But don’t worry—Trump promises it’ll all magically pay for itself. Just like last time.