The Trump Presidency Is Going Great

Neil Young has sued President Donald Trump’s Trump 47 Committee for a cool $10 million after they once again blasted “Rockin’ in the Free World” at rallies, apparently under the legal doctrine of “if we like it, it’s ours.” Young’s lawyers say his reputation has been damaged by the implication that he supports Trump “in any way,” which is fair, because being tied to Trump politically is the PR equivalent of a chemical spill.

The lawsuit patiently explains that “Rockin’ in the Free World” is not, in fact, a MAGA hymn but a savage critique of American inequality—poverty, homelessness, addiction, and the people in power who pretend none of that matters. Or, as the filing puts it, the song is basically the opposite of everything Donald J. Trump stands for. So naturally, Trump keeps using it as his walk-on music, a man so committed to missing the point that he’s turned it into a governing philosophy.

This is Young’s second copyright fight with Trump; the first one in 2020 quietly settled, presumably after someone explained that copyright law is not a suggestion. He’s far from alone: Kesha, Olivia Rodrigo, and Sabrina Carpenter have all told Trump or the White House to stop using their work to sell war, cruelty, and whatever that immigration policy fever dream was. The White House punted questions to the RNC, and the RNC didn’t respond, possibly busy combing Spotify for more protest songs to rebrand as regime anthems.

New York’s sanctuary city vibes took a bullet to the chest when ICE agents shot Oscar Belgal in front of his 5-year-old in Manhattan, while dressed like they were auditioning for a low-budget paramilitary reboot: plain clothes, disguises, and masks, with no visible identification, in apparent violation of federal rules requiring, you know, basic identification. The NYPD showed up, rendered first aid, and then—according to eyewitnesses and video—pivoted smoothly into their favorite role: crowd-control backup for federal gunmen whose names nobody knows.

Mayor Zohran Mamdani thundered that ICE is “rotten to its core” and should be abolished, then promptly treated his own police department’s behavior like a topic for extra credit homework. While NYPD officers allegedly shoved congressional candidate Darializa Avila Chevalier to the ground and later cleared a path so ICE could whisk Belgal from the hospital to a detention facility, Mamdani’s big move was to…stand by Commissioner Jessica Tisch, order some policy reviews, toss a few coins at the inspector general, and ask everyone to be patient with reform. Bold rhetoric for ICE, soothing technocrat lullabies for NYPD.

Socialists, legislators, and Avila Chevalier herself called for Tisch’s firing and demanded Mamdani keep his promise to dismantle the NYPD’s Strategic Response Group—famous mainly for cracking down on protests like it’s their love language. He refused, praising her record on “uprooting corruption” and “lowering crime,” while studiously avoiding any real discussion of why his supposedly progressive administration is letting masked federal agents treat the city like a hunting ground, with NYPD playing usher. If cops are the thin blue line, Mamdani still can’t quite say whether ICE’s anonymous shooters are on the side of order, chaos, or just the part of the Venn diagram where due process goes to die.

The Supreme Court took one look at the 23-year-long legal tire fire that is Guantanamo and decided, firmly and bravely, to do absolutely nothing. In an unsigned order — the judicial equivalent of ghosting — the justices refused to hear appeals from alleged 9/11 mastermind Khalid Sheikh Mohammed and two co-defendants, leaving in place the government’s decision to yank their plea deals. Justice Brett Kavanaugh sat this one out, presumably to avoid the awkwardness of mixing CIA black sites with his "tough on terror" cosplay.

The three men were captured in 2003, tortured in secret CIA prisons with "enhanced interrogation techniques" (also known as crimes in countries that can still look in a mirror), shipped to Guantanamo in 2006, and formally charged in 2008. Since then, the U.S. has spent nearly two decades trying to figure out how to hold a trial without admitting that the evidence is soaked in waterboarding. A 2024 plea deal would have given them life sentences and spared the death penalty, but Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin tore it up to keep the performative "tough" option on the table. Lower military courts said he couldn’t do that; the D.C. Circuit said actually, he absolutely could; and the Supreme Court has now shrugged and walked away.

So the status quo continues: a special offshore justice system designed to be outside normal constitutional rules, forever haunted by CIA torture, unable to deliver verdicts in the most consequential terrorism case in modern U.S. history. The world’s most powerful country can drone strike anyone on Earth in seconds, but 23 years later it still can’t hold a clean trial for the 9/11 defendants. Rule of law, but make it optional.

Donald Trump has bravely decided to stop fighting in court over the $5m E Jean Carroll already has in her bank account, marking a major legal breakthrough in the field of giving up on money that’s gone. After years of calling Carroll a liar, losing a civil trial for sexual abuse and defamation, losing the appeal, losing the stay, and watching the $5.8m (with interest!) walk out the door in July, Trump has now informed the second circuit that, actually, he’s done pretending this particular ship hasn’t sunk.

The second circuit filed the legal equivalent of an eye roll, formally dismissing his appeal and deeming his stay motion withdrawn. As former federal prosecutor Neama Rahmani helpfully translated, this is the “final nail in the coffin” for Trump’s dreams of clawing back the cash from the woman a jury found he sexually abused and defamed. The Supreme Court already refused—twice—to rescue him from this verdict, but Trump’s lawyers still managed to burn a few more billable hours insisting gravity is optional.

Trump’s team, naturally, responded by declaring total victory. In a statement that reads like it was ghostwritten by a caps-lock key, they insisted “The American People stand with President Trump” against the “Carroll Hoaxes” and promised he will “keep winning against Liberal Lawfare.” Yes, nothing screams “winning” quite like permanently losing $5.8m to the woman you smeared, while simultaneously begging the Supreme Court to save you from paying her another $83m for the same conduct. Truly, a golden era for personal responsibility and character.