The Trump Presidency Timeline
Documenting the chaos since day one. 1101 entries and counting.
trump’s fbi turns oppo research department against swalwell

Kash Patel, proudly unveiling the FBI’s newest division: the Office of Electoral Interference and Candidate Smearing.
The Trump White House has apparently decided that if you can’t beat Eric Swalwell at the ballot box, you just hand the FBI a shovel and start digging. According to the Washington Post, Trump’s handpicked FBI director Kash Patel is pushing to release a decade-old counterintelligence file about a suspected Chinese agent who once fundraised for Swalwell—a case in which the FBI already said Swalwell cooperated and was not suspected of wrongdoing. Minor detail, easily ignored when you’re running the Bureau like a Super PAC with subpoenas.
This sudden passion for transparency just happens to arrive as Swalwell climbs in the California governor’s race, locked in a three-way tie with Katie Porter and Tom Steyer while picking up big labor endorsements. Republicans are leading in recent polls, so naturally the president’s response is to turn federal law enforcement into his own dirt-delivery service, trying to slime a political opponent who also inconveniently helped impeach him.
Jamie Raskin summed it up: the FBI is trying to smear a sitting congressman and gubernatorial candidate, and it has absolutely nothing to do with law enforcement. It has everything to do with weaponizing the FBI for partisan warfare. Trump and Patel would very much like to decide who governs California; the pesky concept of voters is just an obstacle to be managed with selective leaks and innuendo. Law-and-order conservatives, meet your favorite new pastime: state security as campaign oppo.
Source: theguardian.com
ballroom blitzkrieg: trump digs himself a nicer bunker

Artist’s rendering of Trump’s new White House ballroom, seen here bravely protecting America from the threat of tasteful architecture.
Trump helpfully explained that the ballroom will "essentially become a shed" for whatever the military is constructing underneath, which is definitely what the Framers had in mind for checks and balances: a president turning the people’s house into a combination luxury wedding venue and subterranean war bunker. He bragged that they’re "ahead of schedule" and "doing very well," while waving around design renderings like a real estate developer who accidentally acquired nuclear launch authority.
A preservation group tried to stop this historic makeover-from-hell, but a federal judge brushed them aside, basically suggesting they come back with better arguments if they want to save what’s left of the actual White House. Meanwhile, the National Capital Planning Commission is drowning in public comments calling the ballroom "appalling," "shameful" and "hideous" — so naturally the administration is plowing forward. America gets more militarization, more monarchic pageantry, and less history, all so Trump can host state dinners over his very own underground mystery bunker.
Source: nbcnews.com
america lets grandpa play nuclear chicken

Donald Trump proudly explaining that he passed a cognitive test while the rest of the world quietly wonders who’s going to hide the nuclear launch codes in the freezer next to the ice cream.
Donald Trump, 79, is once again boasting about acing a basic cognitive screening test designed to see if you can remember "person, woman, man, camera, TV" without a spotter. Meanwhile, during an actual war, he’s interrupting cabinet meetings to tell a possibly imaginary story about negotiating custom Sharpies with a CEO who has no idea what he’s talking about, renaming the Strait of Hormuz the "strait of Trump", and cracking a Pearl Harbor joke in front of a visibly horrified Japanese prime minister. But don’t worry, the man with his finger on the nuclear button insists his brain is the best brain.
The article walks through the cheery reality that if Trump’s judgment really is slipping while he toys with deploying nearly 10,000 troops and talks about taking Iran’s Kharg Island, the US system has almost no functional safeguards. Congress is technically supposed to approve wars, but Trump’s already revving the invasion engine without it, and the loudest brake so far isn’t the Constitution – it’s Wall Street traders trying to reverse-engineer how far markets must crash before he gets bored. The 25th Amendment exists on paper, but in practice it’s mostly used for colonoscopies, not for prying power away from a volatile president surrounded by loyalists who fear him, love him, or both.
Historical comparisons don’t make this any less bleak. From JFK on amphetamines during the Cuban missile crisis to Churchill drinking like the war was sponsored by Scotch, we’ve long trusted that the people closest to power will do the right thing. Now those people are Trump appointees whose main job description is "never tell the boss no". So the world’s most powerful military is effectively being driven by an ageing father who insists he’s fine to drive, veers toward oncoming traffic, and whose family’s big plan is to hope the car’s check-engine light scares him into pulling over. Democratic safeguards, it turns out, are only as strong as the last adult in the room – and we’re fresh out.
Source: theguardian.com
trump declares war on clean energy, accidentally boosts… clean energy

Artist’s impression of America’s new energy strategy: strap turbines to any water that isn’t on fire and hope it offsets four more years of fossil-fueled brain damage.
Source: theguardian.com
god squad to endangered species: drop dead for freedom gas

Endangered Rice’s whales in the Gulf, moments before being reclassified by the Trump administration as an acceptable collateral expense for better polling numbers.
Pete Hegseth, now apparently Secretary of Defense and aspiring marine biologist, is demanding a blanket exemption from the ESA for all oil and gas activities in the Gulf—no specific project, no actual conflict, just vibes and some bad polling. The administration is also trying to skip the boring parts of the law like public documents, open meetings, and basic transparency, again screaming "national security" while quietly live-streaming a supposedly public meeting that the public couldn’t attend. As conservation groups sue, experts note this is the first time any administration has tried to use the God squad as a secret extinction panel for cheaper gas.
The committee, which has only ever overruled the ESA once—and with mitigation measures—now stands poised to decide whether a species that survived millions of years on this planet should be wiped out so Donald Trump can pretend he personally lowered prices at the pump. As Brett Hartl put it, the real threat here isn’t Iran; it’s a "small man’s petty indifference" armed with executive power and a fossil fuel wish list. America’s wildlife heritage and the rule of law are both discovering what it’s like to be Rice’s whales: one bad decision away from getting run over by this administration.
Source: theguardian.com
impeach trump, then hand him more power

Dan Goldman explains that the best way to stop authoritarian abuse is to pre-install all the tools an authoritarian could ever want, just in case.
Source: theguardian.com
tsa gets mystery money, airports get permanent ice cosplay

Americans patiently queue to experience the latest Trump-era innovation: unpaid security theater, now with extra ICE.
The Trump White House has discovered a bold new fiscal innovation: pay people with money that doesn’t exist in any actual appropriation. After shutting down DHS for six weeks because Congress won’t fund his plans, Trump simply signed a memo ordering TSA workers to be paid from "existing funds" that no one can quite identify, least of all DHS, which is currently ghosting NPR’s questions like a teenager dodging their report card.
Meanwhile, Tom Homan, now apparently the nation’s official "border czar" and unofficial ICE hype man, says the ICE officers parachuted into airports to cover for unpaid, quitting TSA staff might just stick around even after paychecks resume. Asked if they’ll leave, he offered the reassuringly authoritarian "we’ll see," because nothing says "normal functioning democracy" like immigration police turning up at domestic airport checkpoints and then maybe never going away.
As 50,000 TSA workers have been forced to work without pay and at least 480 have quit, absences have hit 40% at some airports, producing hours-long security lines. The administration’s solution? Not ending the shutdown, not respecting Congress’s power of the purse, but drafting ICE into airport security to "check identification" and "plug other security holes"—a phrase that definitely doesn’t sound like mission creep toward a national internal checkpoint system at all. But hey, the lines in Houston are shorter, so who’s counting the constitutional problems?
trump rescues a drowned columbus statue, calls genocide 'heroism'

Trump’s White House: where statues toppled by protesters get promoted to a corner office near the Oval.
Source: theguardian.com
texas invents antifa the organization, trump admin applauds

Pam Bondi announces the defeat of Antifa™ Organization LLC, while a federal judge quietly reminds everyone that "antifa" is about as structured as a Reddit thread.
Texas just beta-tested the Trump administration’s dream scenario: take a messy, violent protest outside an ICE detention center, strip out the legal nuance, and sell it as the grand triumph of the war on Antifa™. Nine activists were convicted on a mix of terrorism, riot, explosives, and firearms charges after a protest where one participant shot and wounded a police officer, while others vandalized cars and government property. The shooter, Benjamin Song, was hit with attempted murder; someone who wasn’t even at the protest was convicted for moving a box of zines afterward, because nothing says “domestic terror” like stapled pamphlets.
The Justice Department, led by Pam Bondi, responded with a press release that said "antifa" 16 times, like Beetlejuice for authoritarians, triumphantly declaring the verdict proof that their crusade against this "domestic terror group" is working. Tiny problem: the actual terrorism statute used in court didn’t require proving the existence of any organization or ideology at all. The judge openly wondered why "antifa" should be mentioned, comparing it to the Methodist Women’s Auxiliary — which, to be clear, has yet to be designated a terror cell by Pam Bondi. Jurors acquitted seven defendants on attempted murder, suggesting they didn’t buy the government’s "ambush on law enforcement" fan fiction, but that didn’t stop DOJ from treating the case like Nuremberg for kids in black hoodies.
The real innovation here isn’t public safety, it’s precedent. Prosecutors pointed to things like using Signal, wearing dark clothing, and reading leftwing books in a club as evidence of a coordinated "antifa cell" — meaning the government just basically argued that having encrypted messages, black jeans, and a reading list is suspicious terrorist behavior. Experts warn this is about scaring people out of protesting: show up at the wrong place, stand near the wrong person, or use the wrong app, and you might get swept into a terrorism conspiracy. The FBI already has investigations in at least 23 regions, and DOJ officials are telling prosecutors to "go big" and "go loud" against protesters.
So no, this verdict doesn’t legally establish antifa as an organization. What it does establish is that the Trump administration doesn’t need antifa to be real to prosecute it — it just needs your group chat, your book club, and your wardrobe. The message is clear: protest, and you might end up a test case in the government’s latest fanfic about the Antifa Menace. People should be scared; that’s the whole point.
Source: theguardian.com
trump digs up 1884 racism to rewrite the 14th amendment

The Supreme Court, preparing to decide whether the 14th Amendment still counts or if we’re just doing vibes and 1884 case law now.
Source: nbcnews.com
wisconsin’s gerrymander empire strikes out

Maria Lazar and Chris Taylor, starring in Wisconsin’s new hit courtroom drama: Law & Order: Gerrymander Victims Unit.
Wisconsin Republicans are discovering that when you spend a decade building a beautiful, intricate gerrymandered fortress, it’s a real shame when a liberal Supreme Court comes along and says, "Yeah, that’s illegal." After Donald Trump managed to wheeze out a win in the state, the vibes were supposed to be permanently red. Instead, the party that turned Wisconsin into a case study in minority rule is now watching its legislative leadership sprint for the exits like someone just turned the lights on at a sketchy bar.
The conservatives’ old reliable friend — the Wisconsin Supreme Court — flipped, torched the GOP’s rigged maps, and suddenly Republicans have to do something they haven’t done in years: compete. With Speaker Robin Vos and Senate President Devin LeMahieu retiring, Democrats are openly fantasizing about a trifecta — governor, Legislature, and court — while another liberal-backed justice, Chris Taylor, is out-raising and out-advertising the conservative pick, Maria Lazar. It turns out when you spend 15 years weaponizing the courts to lock in power, people eventually notice and vote like they’re tired of living in a civics lesson on "How to Break a Swing State."
Meanwhile, Trump’s approval in Wisconsin is sinking to fresh lows during his second term, which is awkward for a party that rebuilt its entire brand around his insecurities. The GOP insists that the wave of retirements means nothing, the new maps mean nothing, and the polls mean nothing — which is technically true, if you define "nothing" as "the end of a carefully engineered system of anti-democratic control." The changing of the guard in Madison isn’t just generational; it’s what happens when your whole strategy depends on never letting voters actually choose anything.
Source: nbcnews.com
trump discovers federalism is bad when states protect kids instead of donors

Trump arriving in Miami to explain that only Washington can regulate AI, right after Washington made sure it wouldn’t.
Trump’s White House has discovered a bold new constitutional principle: states’ rights are sacred, unless they annoy David Sacks’ cap table. While Congress is in its usual coma, states across the country — including Republican-led ones — are actually passing AI laws to protect kids, demand transparency, and shield whistleblowers. Naturally, the administration’s response is to swoop in and tell them to knock it off because it might mildly inconvenience "innovation" (read: the venture capital guys who keep getting invited to Mar-a-Lago).
Utah GOP Rep. Doug Fiefia tried to require tech companies to explain how they’d protect consumers. The bill never even made it to a vote, thanks to a one-line memo from the Trump administration declaring it "unfixable" and contrary to the president’s AI agenda — no explanation, just vibes and donor priorities. Meanwhile, Trump’s AI and crypto czar David Sacks and OSTP head Michael Kratsios are demanding a single national framework to avoid a "patchwork" of state protections, which is very convenient given that Congress is so deadlocked the only thing it could pass is a kidney stone.
Republican state lawmakers like Pennsylvania’s Tracy Pennycuick are openly saying they don’t have time to wait for Washington to stop doing nothing, so they’ll keep writing their own rules. The White House, speaking anonymously (because apparently even they’re embarrassed), insists they’d never tell a state it can’t protect children — they just, coincidentally, keep kneecapping the bills that try. It’s a neat trick: federal government too broken to regulate AI, yet somehow still nimble enough to intervene when states try to protect their own citizens from the president’s tech friends.
Source: npr.org
hegseth bravely defends america from the threat of black and female generals

Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth explains that the Pentagon is a strict meritocracy now, which is why he personally kneecapped four promotions after reading Twitter threads about 'woke generals.'
Pete Hegseth, the guy who spent years calling the U.S. military "woke" from a Fox News couch, is now personally reaching into the promotion list to block four officers — two Black, two women — from becoming one-star generals. The move is so "highly unusual" that anonymous Pentagon officials are basically waving semaphore flags that say: this is political loyalty testing, not a personnel decision.
The pattern isn’t subtle. Hegseth has been busy "restructuring" the Pentagon by firing four-stars like he’s cleaning out a spam folder — including Gen. C.Q. Brown, only the second Black Joint Chiefs chair, and Adm. Lisa Franchetti, the first woman to lead the Navy. Official explanations: none. Unofficial explanation, straight from his own book The War on Warriors: too much diversity, not enough culture-war cosplay.
The Pentagon’s response, delivered by spokesman Sean Parnell, is that this is all "fake news" and that a pure, unsullied "meritocracy" now reigns. Which is a bold claim from an operation that keeps mysteriously deciding merit stops right around where the officer is Black, female, or not sufficiently eager to salute Trump’s latest truth-social brain fog. This isn’t personnel management; it’s an ideological purge in uniform.
Source: npr.org
millions march to say 'no kings' to the guy who really wants a crown

Millions of citizens doing the civics lesson the Constitution was supposed to handle automatically: explaining to one very confused president that "No Kings" is not a suggestion.
Source: theguardian.com
trump’s new censorship czar discovers the off switch for ‘fake news’

Brendan Carr, freshly christened “Censorship Czar,” smiles as he explains that your First Amendment rights now come with an early-renewal option on your broadcast license.
When he’s not menacing licenses in public, Carr is working the petty file: leaning on stations over Jimmy Kimmel jokes about Charlie Kirk, launching an “equal time” investigation into The View for hosting a Democratic Senate candidate, and bragging about making national media less powerful while dangling the prospect of yanking local affiliates’ licenses. He insists license revocation is “always on the table” because otherwise it’s just a property right — a nice, blunt summary of how this administration thinks about independent media: a privilege that can be revoked if you forget to flatter Dear Leader.
Meanwhile, away from the cameras, Carr’s FCC quietly waved through Nexstar’s $6.2bn merger with TEGNA via the media bureau, neatly sidestepping a full commission vote and the FCC’s own 39% national ownership cap — then handed out waivers like party favors. The result is a 265‑station behemoth that critics say will gut local news and jack up prices, but at least consolidates more levers of information into fewer, more compliant hands. Even Ted Cruz, whose moral compass usually points directly to Fox’s green room, is muttering that maybe this should’ve gotten an actual vote.
So is Carr a paper tiger or uniquely powerful? Functionally, he’s the best of both worlds for Trump: a regulatory arsonist who mostly stops short of appealable actions, preferring vague threats, politicized probes, and rubber‑stamped mega‑mergers. No need to actually revoke licenses when you can get most of the censorship benefits just by reminding the press that their ability to broadcast now depends on not making the president too mad during wartime. Independent media, meet your new “public interest” test.
Source: theguardian.com
breaking: trump discovers you can just yell 'emergency' and steal powers

Trump, mid-speech, carefully explaining that the real national emergency is anything that mildly inconveniences Donald J. Trump.
The emergency fan fiction doesn’t stop there. Trump pretended Canada was a fentanyl supervillain to justify tariffs, despite the US seizing 43 pounds of fentanyl at the Canadian border versus 21,000 pounds at the Mexican one. He sent the National Guard into Portland while insisting the city was "burning to the ground" and full of "insurrectionists"—claims his own appointee, Judge Karin Immergut, described as "untethered to the facts" (legalese for "he’s making this up"). Now the concern is that he’ll declare yet another fake emergency—like hordes of undocumented immigrants allegedly voting—to send troops or masked ICE agents into communities of color during the election, help Republicans, and call it "security" while everyone else calls it voter intimidation.
Lower courts have started quietly saying the obvious part out loud: the emergencies are fabricated and the president is lying. The supreme court, however, is still mostly playing shy, striking down the worst abuses while studiously avoiding the phrase "this is nonsense." As Hannah Arendt warned, destroying truth is how authoritarians keep power. Trump has treated fake emergencies like a loyalty card—buy ten lies, get one new power free—and unless the courts explicitly tie his emergency theater to his avalanche of falsehoods, he’ll keep treating democracy like a suggestion and the rule of law like a speed bump.
Source: theguardian.com
trump admin discovers due process is optional if you yell ‘sanctions’ loud enough

Government-organized fans in Caracas watch their deposed president’s U.S. court appearance on the big screen, proving that authoritarian regimes and the Trump era share at least one value: turning legal proceedings into live entertainment.
Source: npr.org
trump declares ai company a national security threat for not loving war enough

Trump and Pete Hegseth furiously labeling an AI company a “national security risk” because it refused to build their dream panopticon, while the Constitution quietly files its own restraining order in the background.
The Trump administration tried to solve a contract dispute the way it solves everything else: by screaming "NATIONAL SECURITY" and blacklisting Anthropic from the federal government for the crime of not wanting its AI used for autonomous weapons and mass domestic surveillance. Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth slapped the company with a "supply chain risk" label on social media, Trump announced a government-wide ban like he was canceling a cable subscription, and no one bothered with trivialities like evidence, process, or the Constitution.
Unfortunately for the aspiring warlord cosplay, a federal judge in California noticed. Judge Rita Lin politely translated "we're mad they won't build Skynet for us" into legal terms, calling the designation likely "contrary to law" and "arbitrary and capricious," and noting that the so-called Department of War (points for honesty, at least) offered no legitimate basis to paint Anthropic as a saboteur. She also pointed out the administration gave the company zero notice and zero opportunity to respond before publicly blacklisting it across the government and poisoning its private-sector work.
The ruling temporarily blocks the blacklist and restores the status quo, which still lets the Pentagon use other AI vendors—as long as it follows "applicable regulations, statutes, and constitutional provisions," three things this White House treats like optional app add-ons. Anthropic, the only AI cleared for classified Defense networks before this tantrum, calls the campaign "unlawful retaliation" for resisting military uses like autonomous killing machines and mass spying. Within hours of Hegseth's stunt, Sam Altman and OpenAI just happened to land their own classified deal, proving that in Trump’s America, the free market is very free—so long as you don’t get squeamish about building the surveillance state.
Source: nbcnews.com
commander in chief, cashier in chief

Newly printed $100 bill featuring the traditional American symbols: an eagle, a pyramid, and the guy who tried to overturn the election signing the front like it’s a hotel check-in slip.
Source: theguardian.com
speaker invents trophy for dear leader while everything is on fire

Mike Johnson proudly presents a golden bird to the man setting the country on fire, calling it the dawn of a 'new golden era' as TSA agents dig for change in their couch cushions.
Source: theguardian.com