The Trump Presidency Timeline
Documenting the chaos since day one. 788 entries and counting.
stable genius discovers new constitutional requirement: no dyslexics allowed

Trump, a man who treats reading like a contact sport, mocking Gavin Newsom’s dyslexia from behind the Resolute Desk.
The National Center for Learning Disabilities, apparently still laboring under the illusion that the presidency should not be run on eugenics vibes, condemned Trump’s remarks and gently reminded America that dyslexia doesn’t affect intelligence, judgment, or the ability to lead — a list of qualities Trump might want to borrow from someone with a learning disability. Researchers have even suggested that past presidents like George Washington, John F. Kennedy, and Woodrow Wilson may have had dyslexia, which means Trump’s new purity test would have flunked some of the country’s foundational leaders while somehow grandfathering in the guy who can’t spell “Gavin Newsom.”
Newsom, for his part, responded by roasting Trump online and noting that he spoke candidly about his dyslexia — a nuance that Trump translated into “can’t read, has a mental disorder – A Cognitive Mess!” on Truth Social, which continues to function as the world’s least helpful neurological clinic. So we now have a president who bombs children, protects abusers, and openly suggests that tens of millions of Americans are unfit to hold the office he’s currently defiling — but sure, the real problem is the dyslexic guy who doesn’t read speeches off a teleprompter.
Source: bbc.com
hipaa is for losers, says guy with nuclear codes

Trump explains a congressman’s private medical file on live TV while the Speaker of the House remembers, too late, that indoor voices exist.
Source: theguardian.com
white house turns cancer diagnosis into deep state fanfic

Susie Wiles at the White House, flanked by officials who see every human event as another exhibit in the Case of Trump v. Reality.
Susie Wiles, Trump’s chief of staff and long-time architect of his political career, has been diagnosed with early-stage breast cancer and says she’ll keep running the chaos factory while undergoing treatment. On the human level: that’s serious, it’s scary, and like everyone else in that situation, she deserves competent medical care and a full recovery.
Then the Trump White House did what the Trump White House does: turned a private health crisis into branded content for the persecution-industrial complex. Trump hopped onto Truth Social to declare her prognosis “excellent” and assure everyone she’ll be putting in “virtually full time” at the White House, because this administration treats cancer like a minor scheduling inconvenience but climate change like a suggestion.
While most officials managed a basic level of humanity, deputy chief of staff James Blair decided the moment called for some fanfic about the Deep State Cinematic Universe. In a single post, he claimed Wiles had bravely battled through “illegitimate indictments, domestic spying by the former administration, rigged federal prosecutions, illegal law enforcement raids, general lawfare, assassination attempts, & more” — an impressive list of things that are either under criminal investigation, made up, or both. Apparently the message is: your boss is the victim of a vast criminal conspiracy, but also definitely in charge of the country, don’t think too hard about it.
So while Wiles faces a disease that affects one in eight women, the people around her are still laser-focused on the truly important thing: using literally anything — including a cancer diagnosis — to fuel Trump’s narrative that the justice system, the media, and basic reality are all part of an illegitimate plot against him. The prognosis for American democracy remains somewhat less “excellent.”
Source: theguardian.com
oakland refuses to die for trump’s campaign ad

Scene from Oakland, the city Trump swore was beyond saving, stubbornly refusing to collapse for his next law-and-order press conference.
Donald Trump spent the summer of 2025 fantasizing about sending the National Guard into Democratic cities like it was his own personal cosplay of martial law, declaring places like Oakland "so far gone" they were basically write-offs. Minor plot twist: while he was on camera doing his best dystopian voiceover, Oakland was quietly recording its lowest homicide total in 25 years, cutting murders in half from their 2021 peak without needing tanks, tear gas, or a presidential tantrum.
Instead of federal stormtroopers, the city relied on boring, un-televised things: community groups like Urban Peace Movement, investment in neglected neighborhoods, coordination between local departments, and actual relationships with the people most at risk of violence. So naturally, the Trump administration is now lunging for credit, pointing to its immigration crackdowns and "tough on crime" theatrics while Oakland leaders politely note that federal meddling has mostly made things worse. Reality: local organizers, residents, and some cops doing the slow, grinding work of prevention. Narrative from DC: "We scared everybody straight with fascist vibes, you're welcome."
None of this means Oakland is a utopia – East and West Oakland still bear the brunt of shootings, and one mass shooting can erase a year’s worth of feel-good graphs for the families living through it. But the city’s experience blows up Trump’s favorite campaign B‑roll of "Democrat-run hellholes" and replaces it with something far less useful to him: a story about communities reducing violence with resources, not crackdowns; cooperation, not occupation. No wonder he keeps pretending it’s a war zone. Peace is terrible for the brand.
Source: theguardian.com
retiring senator discovers spine, limited-time offer only

Thom Tillis and Adam Schiff pretend this is a normal oversight hearing and not an annual review for an administration that keeps accidentally killing its own citizens.
Source: theguardian.com
democrats discover voters exist between elections

A Swing Left volunteer attempts the most radical experiment in modern U.S. politics: asking a voter what they actually think before demanding their soul and their Tuesday.
Source: theguardian.com
trump dusts off 1909 spy law to own the border crossers

Behold the cutting edge of U.S. national defense: a rusting fence, a warning sign, and a DOJ pretending desperate migrants are 1909-era saboteurs casing an arsenal.
Source: propublica.org
trump’s save act: saving america from voting

Senate Republicans prepare to defend democracy by making sure fewer people can participate in it.
Source: npr.org
europe suddenly notices the nuclear football is a mood ring

Ed Davey bravely announcing that maybe, just maybe, the world’s oldest democracy shouldn’t outsource its apocalypse button to Donald Trump’s emotional stability.
Davey points out that American support for European security is now openly "conditional" on doing whatever Trump wants on trade, China, or basic ego maintenance, rather than on those boring old "values and alliances" that held for 80 years. Translation: NATO’s Article 5 has been replaced with Article Like and Subscribe. He cites Trump’s Greenland annexation cosplay and his refusal to seriously confront Putin over Ukraine as Exhibit A and B in the "this ally might actually be a saboteur" file.
So the Lib Dems are now arguing for a fully sovereign British nuclear capability, built and maintained at home, at the cost of billions over two decades. The pitch: instead of funneling taxpayer cash into the American defense industry so Trump can hold Europe hostage for compliments, Britain should at least develop the ability to blow up the world without asking Washington’s permission first. They still claim to support multilateral disarmament, of course—just not the version where your arsenal only works if the US president isn’t currently throwing a tantrum on Fox News.
Source: theguardian.com
texas gop senate primary becomes audition to wreck democracy

John Cornyn and Ken Paxton compete to see who can light the filibuster on fire faster while Trump judges from offstage like an authoritarian Simon Cowell.
Source: nbcnews.com
fcc cosplay: brendan carr auditions as trump’s media censor

Brendan Carr, thoughtfully explaining that the First Amendment is still totally intact, it just doesn’t apply to coverage that makes Dear Leader look bad.
Brendan Carr, the FCC chair and newly self-appointed Minister of Truth, hopped on social media to remind broadcasters that their licenses are apparently contingent on flattering coverage of Donald Trump’s Iran adventure. Carr warned that outlets spreading what he calls "hoaxes and news distortions" about the war could see their spectrum permits revoked — because nothing says "public interest" like a government official threatening to shut down news organizations that annoy the president.
Trump, naturally, is thrilled. He raged on Truth Social that the New York Times, Wall Street Journal and other "Lowlife 'Papers'" supposedly want the U.S. to lose the war, accusing them of publishing headlines that are "the exact opposite" of reality. Defense secretary Pete Hegseth chimed in from the war room-slash-green-room, scolding coverage of a "Mideast war" and suggesting more upbeat options like "Iran increasingly desperate" — a bold programming note from a guy who talks about bombing countries like he’s pitching a Fox & Friends segment.
While new CNN owner David Ellison publicly promises editorial independence, Hegseth helpfully hints that the network will be better once the billionaire finishes redecorating the newsroom. Carr, for his part, cites plummeting trust in "legacy media" as justification for using federal control of the airwaves — a public asset — as a political cattle prod. He even dredges up 2024 election coverage to complain that the press predicted a Democratic win before Trump’s "landslide" plurality, as if bad polling entitles the government to start yanking broadcast licenses.
So the Trump administration’s position is now crystal clear: the media is "sick and demented," coverage that isn’t sufficiently triumphalist is a "hoax," and the guy in charge of regulating the airwaves is openly musing about shutting down noncompliant outlets. Freedom of the press, reimagined as a conditional privilege you keep only if you cheer loudly enough for the war.
Source: theguardian.com
marco rubio speedruns the entire national security apparatus

Marco Rubio, proudly posing as Secretary of State, National Security Advisor, and understudy for every other job Trump hasn’t bothered to fill correctly.
NPR tees it up politely, asking what Rubio's role really is, as if the answer isn't "whatever Trump needs done without Congress, career diplomats, or basic oversight getting in the way." With the same guy running diplomacy and the NSC, the interagency process becomes a fun little game where Marco consults Marco, overrules Marco, and then reports back to Marco about Marco's decision. The world order may be shaking, but at least the loyalty structure is rock solid.
So while Dexter Filkins calmly explains this arrangement on public radio, the real headline is that Trump has effectively turned U.S. foreign policy into a one-man show starring Rubio as both Good Cop and National Security Cop. Separation of powers? Institutional guardrails? No, no, we do vibes now.
Source: npr.org
ric grenell leaves the trump kennedy center, the branding remains like a stain

Ric Grenell arriving at the Kennedy Center premiere of "MELANIA," a title that really tells you everything you need to know about where American culture has been taken hostage.
Source: nbcnews.com
trump tries to perp-walk monetary policy

Jerome Powell, apparently moments away from being charged with aggravated renovation for not cutting interest rates fast enough.
The Justice Department’s latest cosplay as a mob collections agency just hit a wall. A federal judge blocked Trump’s DOJ from subpoenaing Fed chair Jerome Powell over some allegedly scandalous building renovations, noting there was a “mountain of evidence” that the whole thing was just a pressure campaign to make Powell slash interest rates or resign. The court helpfully observed that DOJ had produced “essentially zero evidence” of any crime, which is a pretty bold way of saying: this isn’t law enforcement, it’s a shakedown.
Trump has spent the past year publicly calling the guy he appointed in 2018 “stupid” and “too slow” for not tanking rates on command, and now—what a coincidence!—his administration is trying to criminalize cost overruns on a construction project. Meanwhile, GOP senator Thom Tillis briefly remembered what a spine is, warning that appealing the ruling will just delay confirming Trump’s preferred replacement, Kevin Warsh, who just happens to be more eager to do the president’s bidding on cheap money.
As a bonus authoritarian side quest, the Supreme Court is weighing Trump’s attempt to fire Fed governor Lisa Cook over mortgage-fraud allegations that look suspiciously selective, given that even his own Treasury secretary Scott Bessent allegedly played similar games on his paperwork. So the Trump White House is now trying to purge and intimidate central bankers with criminal probes and loyalty tests, then insisting this is all about good governance and not, say, turning the Federal Reserve into Mar-a-Lago’s in-house ATM.
Source: theguardian.com
tsa now accepting donations, dignity not included

Proud superpower asks passengers to remove shoes, belts, and spare change for the TSA relief fund.
Source: theguardian.com
king trump gets his very own forever war

Artist’s rendering of the American experiment: a gold-plated crown duct-taped to a cruise missile headed for Tehran.
Donald Trump has finally achieved his life’s dream: not just being president, but being king of an empire with his very own open-ended war in Iran. After spending his second term LARPing as a monarch – posting AI videos of himself in a crown dumping sludge on protesters, slapping his name on the Kennedy Center and the US Institute of Peace, demolishing the East Wing to build a ballroom, and getting his face on a semiq-dollar coin – he’s now upgraded from petty authoritarian cosplay to the real thing: a unilateral war built on zero accountability and a Supreme Court permission slip.
The road to this mess was paved with shredded safeguards. Trump gutted post-Watergate anti-corruption rules, fired 17 inspectors general, and bypassed the Senate to install loyalist prosecutors. Then he handed the keys of law enforcement to Pam Bondi and Kash Patel, turning DOJ and the FBI into his personal revenge squad. They dutifully tried to prosecute Letitia James and James Comey in what his own chief of staff Susie Wiles cheerfully admitted was just “score settling” – a phrase that used to be a red flag and is now apparently official White House policy branding.
Unlike Nixon, who at least had the decency to be stopped by a functioning Congress and a Supreme Court that still believed presidents weren’t literal sun gods, Trump enjoys a 6-3 court that blessed him with sweeping immunity for “official acts.” Sonia Sotomayor warned this could let a president order assassinations or deploy the military against political enemies; Trump heard that as a to-do list. He’s already sent troops into US cities, ordered illegal strikes on civilian boats in the Caribbean, and used federal agencies as tools of retribution. The Iran war is just the logical next step of an imperial presidency that stopped pretending to be constrained by law.
So here we are: Congress sidelined on war and spending, watchdogs fired, prosecutors handpicked, the courts rubber-stamping “King Trump,” and the executive branch rebranded as one man’s stage show with live ammunition. The old fear was that the presidency might become too powerful. Trump and his enablers solved that debate by skipping straight to the sequel: what if we just don’t have a democracy anymore?
Source: theguardian.com
trump’s big-shoe loyalty program

America’s top diplomat, bravely representing the free world while dressed like he stole his dad’s shoes for picture day.
Donald Trump has apparently decided that the best way to keep his would-be successors in line is to turn them into background characters from a cursed circus. Secretary of State Marco Rubio, Vice-President JD Vance, and Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth are all reportedly trudging around in Trump-gifted Florsheim shoes that don’t fit, because the president demands to know – or guess – their shoe size as a proxy for, yes, penis size. The supposed leaders of American foreign policy are literally clomping through geopolitics in clown shoes to avoid offending a man with famously tiny hands.
Rubio, angling for the Oval Office, is now the nation’s top diplomat while visibly dressed like a child playing dress-up in Daddy’s wardrobe, trying to “grow into” the big shoes of John Quincy Adams and James Baker by way of discount Oxfords. Hegseth, meanwhile, is so fragile about his image that he banned independent press photographers from the Pentagon briefing room after some unflattering shots, ensuring only state-approved images of his Very Serious Man cosplay will emerge – ideally none that include the humiliating footwear. This is happening as reporting confirms the US was responsible for a Tomahawk strike on an Iranian elementary school on day one of the war, and the Pentagon’s chief tough guy still can’t summon the decency to publicly own the atrocity.
Vance may be the saddest of the shoe models: a vice-president who sold himself as anti–“stupid wars” now spectating from the sidelines of a very stupid war, iced out of both strategy and the meme wars by the White House accounts. Having built a career as the big guy’s guy, he’s now discovering that when the big guy hands you size-13 loyalty loafers, they can start to look a lot like dead men’s shoes. The Trump administration’s governing philosophy remains consistent: maximum vanity, mandatory humiliation, zero accountability – and absolutely no one in the room wearing shoes that actually fit the job.
Source: theguardian.com
trump administration launches bold new plan to let americans breathe money instead of air

Trump surveys a smog-choked skyline and calls it "beautiful American energy" while someone in the background quietly develops asthma.
Harvard pulmonary specialists have crunched the numbers and come to a shocking conclusion: if you defund healthcare, deregulate pollution, stall clean energy, undercut workplace protections, and let Robert F Kennedy Jr run around poisoning the vaccine well, people’s lungs do not, in fact, thrive. The study describes Trump’s second-term agenda across 10 policy areas as an "attack on Americans’ lungs" that will cause millions to "die needlessly" – which, if you’ve been following the One Big Beautiful Bill Act, appears to be the feature, not a bug.
The OBBBA rips more than $1tn out of health programs, threatening Medicaid coverage, vaccines, emergency care, and basic meds. The White House, via spokesperson Kush Desai, insists this is just "commonsense" reform to fight waste, fraud, and abuse – a bold rebranding of "we took away your inhaler so Exxon could have a slightly nicer quarter." Meanwhile, the administration is busy shredding air pollution rules on soot, mercury, and tailpipe emissions, forcing fossil fuel plants to keep belching poison, and trying to kneecap California’s EV mandates. Corporations get cleaner balance sheets; everyone else gets a lifetime subscription to pulmonary clinics they can no longer afford.
It doesn’t stop there. Workplace protections for coal miners are delayed, CDC and FDA budgets are slashed, and under Health Secretary RFK Jr, vaccine uptake is tanking as federal officials mainline conspiracy theories straight into the public bloodstream. The study sketches a composite patient with COPD who loses coverage, breathes more soot, gets less help to quit smoking, and skips Covid and flu shots because the government told them science is optional now. Toss in climate-fueled wildfires supercharged by environmental rollbacks, and you’ve basically built a national respiratory death trap with a gold-plated Trump logo on the entrance.
Experts warn that children, poor and working-class communities, Black communities with already sky-high asthma rates, and coal miners in red states will be hit the hardest, because of course they will. Federal agencies, once vaguely dedicated to public health, have been repurposed as a sacrifice zone for industry profits and culture-war cosplay. As one lung specialist notes, the scale of harmful policy is "unprecedented" and requires more than just rolling it back – but for now, the Trump administration’s healthcare vision is clear: if you can’t afford to breathe, maybe the free market decided you didn’t deserve lungs.
Source: theguardian.com
trump doj decides breonna taylor was more of a suggestion

The Justice Department, seen here carefully weighing the Fourth Amendment against the urgent national need to kick down more Black people’s doors at 2am.
Source: theguardian.com
trump loses in court, responds by handing the mic to the racist troll lawyer

Voice of America headquarters, soon to be rebranded as the Department of State-Approved Opinions and Barbarian Horde Discourse.
Trump’s attempt to turn U.S. international broadcasting into MAGA TV hit a minor snag when a federal judge ruled that Kari Lake’s stint as acting CEO of the U.S. Agency for Global Media was, legally speaking, trash. Judge Royce Lamberth voided everything she did from July 31 to Nov. 19 — including a mass firing of 500+ Voice of America and USAGM staff — because it violated federal law. Lake responded with the dignity befitting a top public official: by mocking the judge’s appearance and announcing she’ll just hang around as deputy CEO anyway, while Trump parachutes in another loyalist to keep the wrecking ball swinging.
The new nominee, Sarah Rogers, is currently undersecretary of state for public diplomacy and, conveniently, a former First Amendment lawyer for the NRA who now spends her days waging holy war against European efforts to regulate hate speech and disinformation. Rogers will, if confirmed, simultaneously run State’s propaganda shop and USAGM, just as the Trump administration openly talks about folding Voice of America’s "function" into her State Department bureau so it stops being "semi-independent" and starts being fully obedient. Nothing says "free press" like putting a government PR official in charge of the newsroom.
Rogers brings quite the résumé: she’s defended Charlie Kirk from “social media censorship,” cheered U.S. sanctions on European officials over online speech rules, and gone on X to diagnose Europe with a "civilizational death drive" for things like not loving nuclear plants enough and accepting "hostile low-human-capital migrants." She then upgraded the mask-off rhetoric by declaring that Germany "retains very few Jews, yet imported barbarian rapist hordes" — a phrase she defended as debate-provoking and, naturally, an example of free expression being oppressed by European law. This is the person Trump wants running America’s flagship international broadcaster, which is supposed to model independent journalism, not 4chan.
While Voice of America Director Michael Abramowitz gamely congratulated Rogers and talked about rebuilding VOA’s "vital mission," the actual mission from the White House is pretty clear: punish an agency whose job is to report news, stuff it inside State’s messaging operation, and put it under the control of someone who thinks Europe is dying because it doesn’t platform enough racist invective. The court said Kari Lake’s power grab was illegal; Trump’s answer is to make the power grab official and wrap it in Senate confirmation. The authoritarian learning curve is steep, but they’re studying.
Source: nbcnews.com