trump promises he's 'nowhere near' invading iran, which is extremely reassuring
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Trump explains he’s 'nowhere near' invading Iran while standing on a runway surrounded by enough hardware to start three wars by accident.
Trump is now assuring everyone he’s "nowhere near" sending US ground troops into Iran, which is a comforting thing to hear from the man who just told reporters he "possibly" could do exactly that. He’s talking about sending troops to "safeguard" nuclear material at Isfahan — the underground site the US already bombed — and adds that if he ever did send them, Iran would be "so decimated" it couldn’t fight at ground level. Always great when the nuclear-armed superpower’s strategy is: we’ll just level the country first, then stroll in.
While Trump plays Schrödinger’s Invasion on Air Force One, the Pentagon has already rolled out the Greatest Hits of Forever War: F-15s, F-16s, F-18s, F-22s, B-1s, B-2s, drones, Patriots — basically everything short of a commemorative merch line. The conflict with Iran is at day 10, seven US service members are dead from Iranian retaliation, and Congress is, predictably, a non-factor in this undeclared war. Why bother with authorization when you’ve got vibes and a press gaggle?
Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth dutifully backs up the boss on "60 Minutes," saying the US "reserves the right" to put boots on the ground and that it would be "unwise" to rule anything out. Translation: there is no limiting principle here, only an ever-expanding menu of military options. Even Israel’s Isaac Herzog is out here saying he doesn’t expect American or Israeli troops to enter Iran, which tells you how far out the US executive branch is free-styling this.
Meanwhile, Iran’s foreign minister Abbas Araghchi goes on US television to say Iran is "capable enough" of defending itself and reminds everyone they’ve been doing the "defend our land" thing for a few thousand years. So we’ve got Trump half-threatening an invasion, Hegseth polishing the legal fig leaf for escalation, CENTCOM flying a fireworks show over the region, and a nuclear site that may or may not be a step away from bomb material. American democracy still hasn’t voted on any of this, but the commander in chief has workshopped the talking points, so apparently that’s close enough.
#imperialism#national-security
fox & friends goes full dr. strangelove at the pentagon
America’s ‘secretary of war’ explains that more dead troops and bombed schools just mean our resolve is strong and our gravity bombs are working as designed.
Pete Hegseth, the self-branded "secretary of war" and former Fox News couch ornament, went on 60 Minutes to calmly explain that yes, more Americans will die in Trump’s Iran adventure, but that’s just the price of "advancing American interests" and "protecting American lives"—which currently includes getting seven reservists killed in Kuwait by an Iranian drone strike. The message to military families: steel your spines, your kids are now inspirational props for Operation Epic Fury, a name that sounds like it was A/B tested on Xbox Live.
Having already promised "death and destruction from the sky all day long," Hegseth now brags that the bombing of Iran—3,000 targets and counting—is "only just the beginning" and that the US and Israel’s combined air forces haven’t even started the really fun part with 500lb, 1,000lb, and 2,000lb bombs. This is all totally not a regime-change war, he swears, even though the former Ayatollah is dead and Trump is demanding Iran’s "unconditional surrender" like he’s role‑playing Patton on Truth Social.
On the home front, Hegseth casually contradicts House speaker Mike Johnson’s fantasy that the US is "not at war" with Iran, because apparently even this administration can’t keep its propaganda straight. Meanwhile, Trump is blaming Iran for a deadly airstrike on an Iranian girls’ school that US investigators strongly suspect was done by US forces, while new footage shows what looks awfully like a Tomahawk missile in the neighborhood. Hegseth’s brave stance when pressed on the likely US strike on a school full of children: it’s "being investigated"—the Beltway version of hitting mute on a war crime.
#imperialism#killing-democracy
trump discovers cuba, decides it also needs to starve for freedom
Woman in Havana bravely attempts the radical act of existing while the Trump administration tests how many blackouts it takes to achieve regime change.
While the world was still processing the kidnapping of Nicolás Maduro and the assassination of Ayatollah Khamenei, Trump apparently looked at a map, noticed Cuba still existed, and declared it an “unusual and extraordinary threat” to the United States. He slapped a national emergency on Havana and threatened tariffs to stop ships from delivering fuel, because nothing screams national security like making sure a Caribbean island can’t keep the lights on. Venezuela and Mexico, helpfully motivated by the whole “US attack on Venezuela” thing, promptly halted oil exports to Cuba, and now ordinary Cubans are enjoying 18-hour daily blackouts courtesy of American foreign policy.
On the ground, it’s textbook humanitarian cruelty dressed up as democracy promotion. Gasoline and diesel sales to the public: gone. Airline routes: cancelled. Inflation: spiking. The peso: tanking. People wake up in the middle of the night to cook, charge phones, and do chores in the few hours when power exists. Bakeries in Guantánamo are running on firewood, chicken prices are detonating, and community kitchens struggle to feed the poorest because Trump already kneecapped remittances and money transfers. Even Cubans who despise their own government don’t buy Washington’s line: everyone the reporter spoke to – teachers, farmers, small business owners, local officials – rejected the US measures outright. The blockade isn’t winning hearts and minds; it’s just unifying people against the country cutting off their power.
Meanwhile, Havana scrambles to privatize some state enterprises and lean into solar just to keep the country from collapsing, while Washington congratulates itself for being ‘tough on communism’ by making grandmothers cook by candlelight. Decades of sanctions already failed to topple the Cuban government, so naturally Trump’s answer is to double down and create a new “special period” that many Cubans say feels even worse. Regime change is once again less about changing regimes and more about proving the United States can still flip the switch on other people’s basic survival – all under the noble banner of freedom and tariffs.
#imperialism#killing-democracy
pentagon plays battleship with 'narcoterrorists', hits due process instead
Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth carefully explains that blowing up small boats without presenting evidence is totally fine because Trump said the magic words "armed conflict."
The Trump administration's "war on narcoterrorists" has now racked up at least 157 dead people in small boats, and the Pentagon's latest contribution is blowing up six men on an alleged drug-smuggling vessel in the Eastern Pacific. Evidence there were actually drugs? Classified, naturally. What we do get is a cool video on X of a tiny boat getting vaporized, because nothing says "rules-based international order" like turning maritime stop-and-search into live-action Call of Duty content.
President Donald Trump has unilaterally decided the U.S. is in an "armed conflict" with Latin American cartels, which is convenient, because armed conflict comes with way fewer pesky things like warrants, trials, or proof. U.S. Southern Command has carried out more than 40 known strikes on small boats in the Eastern Pacific and Caribbean, while offering about as much transparency as a Mar-a-Lago classified documents storage room. Critics keep asking awkward questions about legality and effectiveness, especially since the fentanyl killing Americans mostly comes over land from Mexico, not from random boats the Navy is turning into confetti.
The administration is now trying to franchise the concept, urging Latin American leaders to join in on the extrajudicial fun and even teaming up with Ecuador for joint military operations against "organized crime groups." This is all happening while Trump is also busy waging a war on Iran, because if you're going to ignore Congress and international law, why limit yourself to one theater? The blowback got louder after it emerged that the U.S. killed survivors of the first boat strike with a follow-up attack; Republicans called it legal and necessary, while legal experts suggested the more technical term might be "murder" or possibly "war crime." So yes, the Trump presidency is going great: we've reinvented the drug war as offshore drone roulette, and the only thing being smuggled reliably is accountability.
#imperialism#lawlessness#killing-democracy
trump auditions for 'supreme leader of everywhere'
Iran’s foreign minister politely pretending it’s normal that the U.S. president is trying to cast Iran’s next leader like a failed ‘Apprentice’ reboot.
Trump, apparently bored with merely trying to overturn elections at home, has now helpfully informed the world that he’ll be personally selecting the next leader of Iran. Because when you’ve already tried to pick America’s president by ignoring votes, why not expand the franchise to foreign regimes too? Iran’s foreign minister, in the Meet the Press interview, is left doing diplomatic gymnastics around the fact that the President of the United States is talking about regime change like he’s announcing a new Mar-a-Lago golf pro.
The interview doubles as a highlight reel of Trump-era foreign policy: open talk of picking other countries’ leaders, a shooting war with Iran driving skyrocketing oil prices, and the U.S. government treating international law like the terms of service on a free app. While Iran’s top diplomat tries to sound measured about partnerships with Russia and the chaos unleashed by the conflict, the subtext is clear: Washington is being run by a guy who thinks the world map is a reality show casting board.
So yes, the administration has managed to turn ‘respecting national sovereignty’ into an optional side quest while nudging us closer to permanent war and economic pain at home. But don’t worry, Trump says he’ll pick the right guy for Iran. The last time he picked a leader, it was Mike Pence, and even that ended with a mob hunting the guy through the Capitol.
#imperialism#killing-democracy
trump to uk: we don't need your help, just your bases
Trump explains that the US doesn’t need British help, just their runways, airspace, and geopolitical obedience.
Donald Trump is very bravely telling Britain he doesn’t need their help in the war he’s already declaring "won" — while simultaneously flying US bombers out of UK bases to hit Iran. The man has discovered a new form of alliance: we get your territory, you get public humiliation. On Truth Social, he sneers that the "once Great Ally" is only now thinking about sending carriers, before huffing that the US doesn’t need latecomers to the party he insists is already over.
Meanwhile, reality — that boring obstacle to Trumpist foreign policy — reports that four US bombers have already landed at RAF Fairford and started using British bases for "specific and limited defensive" operations. So Starmer’s government is effectively letting Washington run strikes out of UK soil while trying to pretend this is all very narrow and responsible, like a landlord insisting they only rent out the spare room, not the basement torture dungeon.
Marco Rubio then pops up at a security conference in Miami to deliver the passive-aggressive Hallmark version of gunboat diplomacy, warning that allies who hesitate when Washington wants to sling missiles around might not get the full loyalty punch card stamped next time. It’s classic Trump-era foreign policy: imperial expectations, zero gratitude, and a constant threat that the friendship bracelet comes with a targeting package.
#imperialism#national-security
shield of the americas, brought to you by trump national doral
Trump unveils his new hemispheric security architecture between the 9th and 10th holes, proving that all roads to regional stability run through the pro shop.
Trump has discovered a bold new venue for hemispheric security strategy: his own Miami-area golf club. Twelve Latin American leaders were summoned to Trump National Doral so the president could announce his "Shield of the Americas" summit, a sort of NATO-for-cartels concept where the entrance fee appears to include greens fees and a photo op. Nothing says "rules-based international order" like convening regional allies in a property you personally profit from while talking about other people’s corruption.
The sales pitch: a "counter-cartel coalition" modeled on the war against Isis, because if there’s one thing the region desperately needs, it’s more militarized US adventurism wrapped in counter-narcotics branding. Trump helpfully declared Mexico the "epicenter" of cartel violence and said cartels are "running Mexico"—while praising President Claudia Sheinbaum, who was not invited to this little golf diplomacy cosplay. Apparently the new hemispheric doctrine is: insult your key neighbor, work around their government, then demand regional loyalty anyway.
As a warm-up act, the US recently ran a military operation to snatch Venezuela’s former president Nicolás Maduro, now awaiting trial in the US, while Trump gushes over interim president Delcy Rodríguez for "doing a great job working with us"—a phrase that traditionally precedes decades of blowback. He then casually predicts Cuba’s imminent collapse and promises a "great new life" once Havana gets with the program, because nothing has ever gone wrong when Washington starts redesigning Caribbean regimes like a suburban HOA board.
To tie the whole thing together, Trump rolled out the "Donroe doctrine"—a Monroe Doctrine knockoff with more branding and fewer scruples—vowing not to allow "hostile foreign influence" near strategic assets like the Panama Canal. Secretary of State Marco Rubio used the occasion to dunk on the UK for not being sufficiently enthusiastic about US strikes in Iran, while Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth complained that America has been too focused on "far-flung" borders instead of its own hemisphere. So yes, the administration’s big innovation is to move from forever wars in the Middle East to a golf-club-based security sphere in Latin America, with a side of regime change and a generous helping of self-enrichment.
#imperialism#forever-grifting
trump’s forever war gets a sequel, now with global assassination side quests
Trump staring at a map of the Middle East like it’s a restaurant menu, somehow surprised that ordering the Suleimani special came with a side of assassination plots and regional war.
The Trump show has officially gone international syndication. A Pakistani man, Asif Merchant, has been convicted in New York of plotting to kill Donald Trump, Joe Biden, and Nikki Haley at the direction of Iran’s Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps, as payback for Trump’s 2020 assassination of Qassem Suleimani. You remember that one: the bold, galaxy-brain strike that was absolutely not going to spark years of spiraling retaliation or turn US officials into walking targets worldwide. Flawless strategic foresight, as always.
The plot never got off the ground because someone Merchant tried to recruit did the thing the Secret Service wishes more Trump staffers would do: called law enforcement. Merchant claims he only joined the IRGC scheme to protect his family in Tehran, while Iran officially denies it targeted Trump or any US officials. Meanwhile, the trial conveniently kicked off just as Trump ordered a joint assault on Iran with Israel, which has already killed at least 1,332 Iranian civilians and wiped out a chunk of the country’s leadership, according to Tehran’s UN ambassador. Six US service members and at least 10 Israeli civilians are also dead, because the Forever War doesn’t do refunds, just sequels.
So we’ve got: Trump’s first-term drone assassination of Suleimani; Iran-linked plots to assassinate Trump and other US leaders on US soil; and now a region-wide war with a mounting civilian body count. But sure, tell us again how blowing up senior officials in foreign countries is a tidy, contained policy tool and not a long-term subscription to global vendetta politics. The only thing transcending national boundaries here is the sheer volume of terrible decisions.
#imperialism#national-security#killing-democracy
cuban elf upgrades embargo from 'cruel' to 'medieval siege'
Marco Rubio explains how cutting off fuel, food and medicine to 11 million people is actually a bold stand for 'freedom,' as Trump roleplays 1960s Cold War villain on hard mode.
Trump has apparently decided that the 60-year embargo on Cuba just wasn’t quite murderous enough, so on 29 January he declared the island an "unusual and extraordinary threat" to US national security and slapped on a full fuel blockade. Hospitals, schools, homes? Lights out. Food and medicine? Optional. Human rights? Adorable concept. And there’s Marco Rubio at State, proudly insisting this is all for "freedom" while helping starve the very people he claims to liberate.
For decades, the US has pretended the embargo was a minor inconvenience while secretly writing cables about making life so unbearable that Cubans would overthrow their own government. Trump, never one for subtext, has simply said the quiet part into a hot mic: "There’s an embargo. There’s no oil, there’s no money, there’s no anything" — said with all the nuance of a landlord turning off the heat in January. Meanwhile, a Florida-registered speedboat stuffed with rifles and Molotov cocktails just got intercepted off Cuba’s coast, because when Washington cranks up the pressure, some exiles hear it as an invitation to LARP Bay of Pigs 2.0.
The piece also notes something the administration would rather you ignore: younger Cuban Americans are organizing against this carnival of cruelty, demanding engagement instead of siege warfare conducted from Air Force One. They’re treating their heritage as something other than a prop for Rubio’s career and Trump’s imperial cosplay, insisting that "freedom" shouldn’t require your grandma to choose between insulin and candles. The choice on offer is clear: diplomacy and basic dignity, or an endless, bipartisan tradition of slowly strangling a neighboring country and calling it "democracy promotion".
#imperialism#killing-democracy
trump restores 'diplomacy' with the country he just bombed and looted
US officials smile for the cameras in Caracas while quietly measuring Venezuela for new pipelines, mine shafts, and a convenient democracy costume.
The Trump administration is very proudly announcing that the US and Venezuela are "restoring diplomatic ties" — which is a poetic way of saying: after bombing Caracas, killing around 100 people, snatching Nicolás Maduro and his wife off to New York for a drug trial, Washington is now ready to cash in. The State Department issued the usual soothing word salad about "stability", "economic recovery" and a "peaceful transition" to democracy, while quietly skipping the part where the transition was jump‑started by US airstrikes.
Doug Burgum — interior secretary and proud chair of the National Energy Dominance Council, which is definitely not the name of a Bond villain committee — just wrapped up a two-day trip to Caracas. He reports that interim president Delcy Rodríguez, conveniently elevated with Trump's blessing, is very eager to guarantee "security" for foreign mining companies and to open up the Orinoco Mining Arc, a region already crawling with armed groups. Washington now openly claims it "in effect runs Venezuela" and controls its vast natural resources, as long as Rodríguez keeps signing the right paperwork and rewriting oil and mining laws to let US firms strip-mine the place.
Energy secretary Chris Wright was there earlier to demand a "dramatic increase" in oil production and to rave about "tremendous opportunities" — for whom, he did not need to specify. Between the bombing raid, the regime change, the trial spectacle in New York, and the rush to lock in oil, gold, diamonds, and rare minerals, this isn't foreign policy so much as a live‑action corporate acquisition. Call it what it is: resource extraction with some consulates stapled on.
#imperialism#forever-grifting
trump tries to bully spain into his next great middle east disaster
José María Aznar and George W Bush in 2003, back when Spain’s role was to smile for the camera and sign up for the wrong war on cue.
Donald Trump has decided the best way to manage global security is to threaten a NATO ally with a trade cutoff because Spain won’t let him use two shared bases in Andalucía to bomb Iran on demand. Spanish prime minister Pedro Sánchez responded with a 10-minute televised statement that, translated from diplomatic Spanish, basically said: we’re not going to help a failing leader start a war to distract from his incompetence and enrich his friends. He even spelled it out: governments should protect citizens, not "use the smokescreen of war" to hide their failures while funneling cash to the usual weapons profiteers. Subtlety is dead, and Trump killed it with a JDAM.
Spain’s far right, naturally, rushed to defend Dear Leader in Washington. Vox’s Santiago Abascal blamed "ayatollahs" and accused Sánchez of clinging to power, while the conservative People’s Party scolded him for endangering the sacred transatlantic tradition of doing whatever the US president wants, no matter how reckless. Meanwhile, Sánchez keeps committing the unforgivable sin of the Trump era: saying out loud that endless war, regime change, and starving civilians might not be the high point of Western values. He’s slammed Israel’s devastation of Gaza, criticised the US-backed toppling of Maduro, and even defended immigration instead of campaigning on barbed wire and panic.
Across Europe, most leaders are bravely confronting Trump’s tantrums by issuing carefully worded statements to their press offices and then doing absolutely nothing. Denmark’s Mette Frederiksen has at least made noise over Trump trying to slap his name on Greenland like it’s a condo tower, but when it comes to openly telling the US president no on using European soil as a launchpad, Sánchez is basically the only one reading the fine print on the "rules-based international order" brochure. Trump is weaponizing trade and military basing rights to strong-arm allies into his next foreign policy catastrophe, and Europe’s big capitals are mostly responding with a group shrug and a nervous glance at their export numbers.
#imperialism#killing-democracy
hegseth dusts off the monroe doctrine, threatens latin america with 'friendship'
Pete Hegseth explains that Latin America can either join America’s noble fight against 'narco-communism' or enjoy the deluxe unilateral freedom package previously tested in Venezuela.
Pete Hegseth, now somehow in charge of the Pentagon instead of a Fox & Friends greenroom, told a roomful of Latin American defense officials that the US is ready to "go on offence" against drug cartels with or without them. This, after the Trump administration already used the "war on drugs" as a costume for the first US ground attack on a South American country in history, bagging Nicolás Maduro and then casually admitting the real goal was Venezuela's oil. So it's less "Just Say No" and more "Just Say Oil Fields".
The brains behind this masterclass in 1980s cosplay is Stephen Miller, who announced that cartels can only be defeated with military force and should be treated "just as brutally and just as ruthlessly" as Isis and al-Qaida. Designate cartels as terrorists, invoke the forever-war playbook, and suddenly half the hemisphere is a target-rich environment. Experts pointing out that decades of militarized drug policy have only fueled violence and failed to dent supply were politely ignored, because nuance doesn't look good on a PowerPoint at US Southern Command.
Hegseth also lovingly resurrected the Monroe Doctrine, praising "America for Americans" while urging countries to stay "Christian nations" with "strong borders" and resist "radical narco-communism" and "uncontrolled mass migration". So the pitch is: let Washington run your security policy, embrace US-backed intervention, and maybe we won't unilaterally bomb your coastline under the banner of faith, family, and forward-deployed Marines. It's not diplomacy; it's a protection racket with Bible verses and drone footage.
#imperialism#killing-democracy
trump admin to americans in west bank: thoughts, prayers, no sanctions
Marco Rubio, Pam Bondi, and Mike Huckabee carefully ignoring a stack of letters about dead Americans while polishing the "unshakeable alliance" brand.
More than 30 senators just sent Marco Rubio, Pam Bondi, and Mike Huckabee a politely furious letter asking why nine American citizens have been killed by Israeli settlers or soldiers in the West Bank since 2022 and not a single person has been criminally convicted. Apparently "protecting Americans" now comes with a long list of exemptions, starting with: are they Palestinian, and were they killed by a US-backed ally?
Nasrallah Abu Siyam, a 19-year-old born in Philadelphia, was shot in February during a settler attack on Palestinian farmers while Israeli soldiers allegedly stood by, offered no aid, and made no arrests. He joins a grim roster that includes journalist Shireen Abu Akleh, protester Aysenur Ezgi Eygi, elderly detainee Omar Assad, arson victim Khamis al-Ayyada, and three minors. The Netanyahu government has produced zero accountability; the Trump administration has produced zero consequences – a real bipartisan effort in abandoning your own citizens.
The senators note that one of Trump's first acts on re-entering the White House was to revoke Biden-era sanctions on violent settlers, instantly lifting designations on 33 individuals and organizations. Shockingly, once the message "go wild" was sent from Washington, settler violence spiked and villages started emptying out under coordinated attacks, often with Israeli forces helping or just quietly supervising the ethnic cleansing. The State and Justice Departments, asked to comment on this pattern of Americans dying with no justice, responded with their now-standard position: radio silence.
Meanwhile, Pennsylvania's own John Fetterman somehow can't find the time to sign a letter about a Philadelphia-born American being killed, presumably because nothing must interfere with his brand as Israel's loudest hype man. The senators ask how many more Americans have to die before the administration takes "serious, credible steps" toward accountability. Given the track record, the Trump team appears to be workshopping a different question: how many can die before anyone in power does anything at all.
#imperialism#killing-democracy
trump starts a war, offers coupons on the consequences
Behold: hundreds of tankers stuck in a geopolitical traffic jam while Trump tries to fix it with discount war insurance and a coupon code for naval escorts.
Donald Trump helped light the match on a US-Israel war with Iran, watched a fifth of the world's oil and gas get choked off at the Strait of Hormuz, and has now generously offered the US Navy as an armed DoorDash escort service for tankers "if necessary." Iran is threatening to literally "set fire" to ships, several vessels have already been fired on, and roughly 200 tankers are stranded in the Gulf. So naturally, Trump’s solution is to turn the US government into a cut‑rate insurance broker for maritime roulette.
He’s ordered the US International Development Finance Corporation to sell "political risk insurance and guarantees" for all maritime trade through the Gulf at a "very reasonable price"—which sounds a lot like: private profits, public underwriting, and taxpayers holding the bag for a crisis his own war helped trigger. Naval escorts are promised "as soon as possible," as if putting US warships between Iranian missiles and global oil flows has ever gone sideways before.
Experts, ever the buzzkills, point out that this won’t actually fix the tiny problem where ships don’t want to get shot, and that even US military intervention in the Red Sea didn’t convince shippers to sail into a missile testing range. But Trump is already brushing off the prospect of $100+ oil and spiking gas prices as just "for a little while," assuring everyone that once his war is done, prices will magically fall "lower than even before." Bold strategy: blow up regional stability, then promise the market will thank you later. What could possibly go wrong?
#imperialism#national-security#money
stable genius declares trade war on spain mid‑press conference
Trump explains that NATO is like his personal HOA and Spain is getting fined for not lending him their backyard for an airstrike barbecue.
During a White House press conference that was allegedly about serious diplomacy and not a live‑action rage tweet, Donald Trump announced that Spain was a "terrible" ally and "very uncooperative" because it declined to let the US use Spanish bases for strikes on Iran. So, naturally, he jumped straight to threatening to "cut off all trade" with an entire NATO partner, like a guy rage‑quitting a group chat, except with the world’s largest economy attached.
Trump then publicly ordered Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent to "cut off all dealings" with Spain, as if global trade flows and alliance structures are just another episode of his reality show. German Chancellor Friedrich Merz had the misfortune of standing next to him while he tried to turn a disagreement over bombing Iran into an impromptu economic war on Europe. America’s diplomatic strategy under Trump remains consistent: obey, or we’ll burn the relationship down and send Treasury to pour gasoline.
#imperialism#killing-democracy
fifa’s bald mascot for trumpian bloodsport
Trump patiently endures a speech from Gianni Infantino, who has just invented a peace prize on the spot in hopes that war crimes come with frequent flyer miles.
FIFA has apparently decided that if you’re going to shred the last scraps of "sport and politics don’t mix" theater, you might as well do it in full clown makeup. Gianni Infantino has welded world football’s governing body to Donald Trump’s second-term war machine, handing him a bespoke, made‑up "Fifa peace prize" while the U.S., co‑host of this summer’s World Cup, is literally bombing one participating nation and has already murdered the head of state of another in the same group. Under its own rules FIFA is supposed to be politically neutral; under Infantino, it’s a full‑service PR agency for an autocrat with drone strikes on tap.
Instead of distance, we get Infantino trailing Trump "like a goggle‑eyed teenager offering gifts" – conjuring a peace prize from thin air so Trump can win it, flogging a grotesque golden bauble of clawing hands, and rolling out a "Gaza mini‑pitch" scheme that uses rubble and displacement as marketing B‑roll. This isn’t sport as escape; it’s sport as cover story, a kind of sports‑washing cosplay where football pretends to heal the world while its chosen political sugar daddy lights more of it on fire. Football doesn’t just have blood on its hands now – it has handed the camera to Trump, framed the shot, and called it a tournament promo.
#imperialism#killing-democracy#forever-grifting
trump discovers new war dlc, speedruns iran
Screenshot of Trump’s latest foreign policy brainstorm: launching a war with Iran like he’s testing a new reality show pilot.
The New York Times helpfully packages Donald Trump’s latest foreign-policy tantrum into a 2½‑minute explainer on his “war of choice” with Iran, because apparently we now do elective regime‑change content in snackable video format. National security correspondent David E. Sanger walks through how the president has decided that what America really needs right now is a voluntary Middle East war sequel nobody ordered, Congress didn’t authorize, and the Pentagon can’t explain without using the phrase “because he wanted to.”
Instead of diplomacy or, say, reading a briefing longer than a Truth Social post, Trump has chosen the high-risk hobby of poking Iran with missiles and covert ops, gambling with U.S. troops, global oil markets, and a few million civilians like they’re chips at one of his bankrupt casinos. The video politely calls this a "war of choice"; a less charitable description would be presidential cosplay as wartime strongman, complete with the usual disregard for congressional war powers, international law, and basic sanity. It’s American imperialism on autoplay, starring a man who thinks Article II lets him do whatever he wants and is now treating the Persian Gulf as his personal content farm.
#imperialism#killing-democracy
trump’s iran joyride comes with complimentary global flight chaos
Stranded passengers in Beirut bravely endure the consequences of Washington’s latest freedom-delivery mission, armed only with rolling suitcases and a slowly dying phone battery.
The Trump administration and its favorite plus-one, Israel, decided to lob missiles at Iran again, and the airline industry just discovered what happens when your foreign policy is written by people who think Risk is a documentary. Airspace across the Middle East slammed shut as Iran, Iraq, Qatar, Kuwait, Bahrain, Syria, and others said "no thanks" to becoming live-fire corridors, while the UAE pulled a "temporary and partial" closure that somehow resulted in no flights overhead. When even Dubai’s sky mall has to close, you know Washington has been playing real-life Call of Duty again.
Key hubs in Dubai, Abu Dhabi, and Doha – the arteries connecting Europe, Africa, and the Americas to Asia – were turned off like a light switch, stranding or rerouting hundreds of thousands of passengers. More than 1,800 Middle East flights vaporized on Saturday alone, with global knock-on delays and cancellations rippling out to tens of thousands of flights. Airline analysts politely called it "no way to sugarcoat this" instead of the more accurate "your vacation, your business trip, and your family emergency have all been sacrificed on the altar of another White House Tough Guy Moment."
While aviation experts gamely talked about how, once the US and Israel finish their "kinetic activity" and degrade Iran’s ability to shoot back, countries might reopen slices of airspace, nobody can say how long this will drag on. The last US-Israeli attack on Iran in June 2025 lasted 12 days – which, in airline terms, is the difference between "mild disruption" and "we have built a new society here in the departure lounge." The administration gets its war porn photo ops; the rest of the planet gets higher ticket prices, longer flights, and a reminder that US foreign policy treats civilians as background scenery.
#imperialism#national-security
trump unlocks ‘major combat operations’ dlc
Tehran skyline, now with 100% more ‘major combat operations’ and 0% exit strategy.
Donald Trump has apparently speedrun the Bush years and gone straight to the “major combat operations” part, announcing a joint US-Israel attack on Iran while explosions light up central Tehran. One apparent strike hit near the offices of Iran’s supreme leader, because nothing cools global tensions like lobbing missiles at the political nerve center of a regional power.
Having helped start a shooting war, Trump then did what every responsible statesman does: he opened his mouth. The president called on Iranians to rise up against their government while US and Israeli forces were bombing their capital, because nothing says “we’re here to help” like coordinating your regime-change pep talk with incoming ordnance. Tehran, meanwhile, is promising a “crushing retaliation,” which sounds totally fine and not at all like the prelude to yet another endless Middle East disaster authored by American ego and Israeli hawks.
So we’ve got Trump playing Xbox geopolitics with real cities, Israel getting its long-dreamed-of green light, and the rest of the world strapped into the backseat of a car hurtling toward a cliff while the driver screams about freedom. But don’t worry, the adults in the room will definitely… oh right, they either resigned, were fired, or are now on Fox explaining why this is actually good for stability.
#imperialism#national-security#killing-democracy
trump pitches 'friendly' imperialism timeshare in cuba
Trump explains that when he says 'friendly takeover of Cuba,' he means the kind of friendship where you block the oil, grab the allies, and then offer to help rebuild what you just destroyed.
Trump, on his way to a campaign event — because of course this is campaign patter now — mused that the US might stage a "friendly takeover" of Cuba, the kind of thing you say when you’ve confused international law with a real estate seminar. Having already helped snatch Nicolás Maduro, pressured Venezuela’s leadership to open its oil reserves to foreign companies, and choked off Cuba’s fuel supply, Trump is now framing economic strangulation plus regime leverage as a very positive opportunity for Cuban exiles who "want to go back" and presumably reclaim the island like it’s a foreclosed condo.
Rather than deny any interest in old-school yankee imperialism, the administration is basically workshopping taglines for it. US officials have been chatting up Raúl Castro’s grandson on the sidelines of regional summits while Marco Rubio, now secretary of state and apparently LARPing as a Cold War mastermind, gets credit for orchestrating what one historian calls a "very impressive take down." Meanwhile, a US-registered speedboat full of heavily armed exiles just tried to storm Cuba’s coast, ending in a deadly gunfight at sea — and somehow this is all just background noise to the president openly spitballing regime change as a branding exercise.
Cuban leaders keep insisting any talks must respect sovereignty and equality, which is adorable given Washington is currently testing how far you can push an oil blockade before you can call the resulting collapse a "Berlin Wall moment." US financial domination helped trigger the 1959 revolution, so naturally the Trump-Rubio brain trust has decided the winning strategy is: run it back, but with more sanctions and better TV hits. Friendly takeover is doing a lot of work here; when you’re starving a country into submission while promising exiles a triumphant return, "friendly" starts to look like the world’s darkest rebrand of gunboat diplomacy.
#imperialism#killing-democracy
