The Trump Presidency Is Going Great

In a plotline ripped straight from a bad history textbook, Trump reportedly considered retaking the Panama Canal, because clearly, what’s more patriotic than reversing decades of international treaties? Panamanians, understandably, were not amused. Maybe he thought he could slap his name on it and call it “The Trump Canal,” but the world wasn’t buying that one either.

When real estate mogul meets geopolitics, you get Trump’s grand plan to buy Greenland. Yes, the icy, self-governing territory of Denmark. Because if you can build a gold-plated tower, why not try to acquire an entire country? Greenland politely declined the offer, but we can only wonder if Trump’s next pitch was going to be free Mar-a-Lago memberships for all Danes.