The Trump Presidency Is Going Great

Trump just **put U.S. citizenship up for sale**, launching a **“gold card”** that lets the ultra-wealthy **buy their way into America for $5 million**—because nothing says **immigration reform** like **letting Russian oligarchs and billionaires skip the line.** Meanwhile, working-class immigrants? **Still out of luck.**

Trump’s latest grift? A meme coin that scammed investors out of $2 billion. The ex-reality star turned president launched $Trump, a cryptocurrency he hyped up on Truth Social, promising a “very special Trump Community.” And it was special—if you got in early. The first traders cashed out with insane profits, including one lucky degenerate who made $109 million in two days. But for the 810,000+ wallets now deep in the red, it’s looking a lot like another classic Trump business model: hype it up, let the suckers buy in, and walk away with the cash. Meanwhile, Trump and his family pocketed over $100 million in trading fees—all while working to gut crypto regulations that could hold them accountable. But hey, if you lost your life savings on $Trump, maybe you just should’ve done your own research.

when battling historic wildfires, the real priority is semantics. FEMA workers in California have been ordered to replace terms like "migrant" with "alien" and "gender" with "sex," following a Trump administration directive to purge so-called "radical gender ideology" from federal communications. One FEMA employee aptly dubbed this linguistic overhaul as "the most 1984 email I've ever seen." Apparently, in the midst of disaster response, nothing says efficiency like a good old-fashioned Newspeak update.