trump builds a $1.2 trillion participation trophy in the sky
Trump proudly unveils the "Golden Dome" poster, a $1.2 trillion vision board for defense contractors disguised as national security strategy.
The Congressional Budget Office has looked at Trump's shiny new "Golden Dome" missile defense fantasy and, after doing the math, politely informed America that it's not $175bn, it's about $1.2 trillion. Apparently when Trump said "$25bn to start, $175bn total," he was only off by roughly the GDP of Mexico. Close enough for government work, as long as you’re a defense contractor with a reserved parking spot at Raytheon.
Instead of the modest "Iron Dome for America" branding, we've upgraded to a coast-to-coast, land-sea-space techno-bubble that CBO says could still be overwhelmed by an actual full-scale attack from Russia or China. So it's less a shield and more a $1.2tn security blanket: comforting, useless, and paid for entirely by working Americans, as Senator Jeff Merkley helpfully translated. The system’s promise to intercept missiles launched "from the other side of the world, or launched from space" mostly translates to "we're launching your tax dollars directly into orbit."
A week into his second term, Trump ordered the Pentagon to sketch out this sci‑fi dome, because nothing says "serious national security" like a president commissioning a planetary forcefield while existing systems are already struggling to keep up. The White House insists aerial attacks remain "the most catastrophic threat" facing the US; climate change, pandemics, and democracy erosion will just have to wait until Lockheed figures out how to monetize them. For now, the only thing comprehensively protected is the profit margin of the military‑industrial complex.
#forever-grifting#corruption#national-security
trump admin discovers conservation is bad for business, promptly kills it
Doug Burgum proudly stands in front of America’s public lands, helpfully explaining which parts will be drilled, mined, logged, or grazed first once they’re done canceling that pesky ‘conservation’ nonsense.
The Trump Interior Department has decided that conserving public land is too radical a use of public land, so they’re canceling a Biden-era rule that dared to treat conservation as being on equal footing with drilling, mining, logging, and grazing. The 2024 rule finally let people lease land to actually restore it, the way oil companies lease it to strip it, which was apparently a bridge too far for Secretary Doug Burgum and his friends in the “turn everything into a strip mine” caucus.
Instead, the administration is returning the Bureau of Land Management to its historical mission: acting as a concierge service for fossil fuel and timber companies. Industry groups complained that letting anyone pay money to heal land was “non-use” and a betrayal of the sacred “multiple use” doctrine, which in practice has always meant one use: extract every ounce of value now and send taxpayers the cleanup bill later. Environmental advocates point out that this will mean less protection for drinking water, endangered species, and any landscape that isn’t already a moonscape — so, obviously, it had to go.
The repeal slots neatly into Trump’s broader project of turning western public lands into a corporate clearance sale: more oil and gas from taxpayer property, fewer constraints on trashing ecosystems, and even some kneecapping of renewable projects for good measure. Republicans in Congress are doing their part by shredding land management plans that limited development in Alaska, Montana, and North Dakota. The message is clear: if it’s underground and can be burned, blasted, or bulldozed for profit, the federal government is open for business — and if you wanted clean water or intact wildlife habitat, you really should’ve been born a petroleum association.
#forever-grifting#killing-democracy
congress contemplates billion-dollar taxpayer tip for trump’s dance floor
Concept art of Trump’s ‘East Wing Modernization Project,’ also known as: you paid for this so he can have nicer parties.
Republicans rolled out a $72 billion "law and order" bill for ICE and Border Patrol, and whoops, look at that — there’s a $1 billion line item for "security adjustments" to Trump’s brand-new East Wing vanity project, also known in English as his ballroom. The word "ballroom" never appears in the bill, because when you’re trying to get working families to underwrite the president’s party bunker, you go with something more respectable-sounding, like "East Wing Modernization Project."
Democrats, smelling political blood and stale caviar, are branding the GOP as "Ballroom Republicans" and promising Byrd Rule challenges to knock out the non-budgetary goodies. Polls already show most Americans hate the idea of bulldozing the East Wing for Trump’s 90,000-square-foot ego chamber, and that’s before you mention that taxpayers are now being drafted as unwilling event sponsors. This is especially awkward given Trump previously vowed the whole thing would be privately funded — a promise that aged about as well as every other Trump "I’ll pay for it myself" pledge.
Even some Republicans like Rick Scott, Josh Hawley, and Rand Paul are pretending to be fiscally conscious for a news cycle, questioning why the public should fund Trump’s dance palace. Meanwhile, Senate Majority Leader John Thune is on the floor screaming that Democrats are "defund the police" extremists for not swallowing the entire package, carefully forgetting to mention the billion-dollar ballroom rider. The sales pitch is simple: vote to shovel cash into Trump’s personal prestige project or you’re anti-cop. It’s not a border bill so much as a forever-grifting omnibus with ICE funding as camouflage and a golden conga line straight into Trump’s pocket.
#forever-grifting#corruption
commander in beef: trump turns the white house into a ufc vip lounge
Trump and Dana White scouting future federal property improvements: fewer trees, more bloodsport branding opportunities.
The South Lawn is getting a tasteful update: grass, hedges, and a giant corporate fight cage. For Trump’s 80th birthday and the kickoff of his government-funded 250th ‘patriotic’ celebration, the White House is hosting a UFC extravaganza where the tickets are “free,” but the sponsorship packages with ringside seats mysteriously go for $1 million to $1.5 million a pop. The UFC swears it’s not selling tickets, TKO’s Mark Shapiro says they’ll lose up to $30 million on this, and nobody can explain where the money from those sponsorships is actually going. But don’t worry, the president is personally handpicking who gets into the taxpayer-owned backyard. Totally normal, very constitutional, not at all a soft-money brawl on federal property.
Demand is so insane that Republican officials, lobbyists, and anyone who’s ever brushed against MAGA world are reduced to begging Steven Cheung — a former UFC flack now playing White House gatekeeper with a replica championship belt in his office — to put them on the list. Dana White handed most of his allocation straight to Trump, TKO kept another chunk, and the rest are being distributed to “military, VIPs, friends, members of Congress, foreign dignitaries, and staff,” i.e., a curated audience of donors, sycophants, and useful photo-ops. Meanwhile, the UFC is building a 90-foot-tall fight arch in Pennsylvania, shipping it to D.C., and planning for 85,000 people to watch from the Ellipse while Paramount+ streams the whole state-sponsored spectacle.
Lara Trump says this may be “the event of his presidency,” which is accidentally honest: nothing captures the Trump era quite like monetizing access to the People’s House through an un-transparent sponsorship scheme while turning it into a live-action culture-war Thunderdome. It’s not policy, it’s not governance, it’s not even subtle — it’s just the presidency as pay-to-play cage match, with the grift baked directly into the undercard.
#forever-grifting#corruption#money
trump discovers urgent national emergency: pool not blue enough
Artist’s impression: the Lincoln Memorial reflecting pool, now available in "American-flag blue" and "unprosecuted self-dealing".
The Lincoln Memorial’s reflecting pool is getting a $6.9 million makeover, and in a shocking twist absolutely nobody predicted, the no-bid contract went to a company that previously worked on a swimming pool at Trump’s Virginia golf course. The administration invoked a federal exemption meant for avoiding “serious injury” to the government, apparently on the theory that the greatest threat to the republic is insufficiently Instagrammable water.
Instead of fixing the actual problem — a failing filtration system that leaks 16 million gallons a year — the White House is paying Atlantic Industrial Coatings, a firm with no prior federal contracting experience, to paint the pool “American-flag blue.” Experts note that this will not prevent the water from turning its usual algae green, but will successfully transfer several million taxpayer dollars to a Trump-linked outfit at “Trump speed,” which is now apparently an official procurement metric.
While Trump fantasizes about a Bahamas-turquoise national monument, posts AI images of himself and JD Vance lounging in a crystal-blue reflecting pool, and tears up the Rose Garden and East Wing for his mega-ballroom and a Christopher Columbus statue, ethics watchdogs point out that the whole thing has become a secretive no-scrutiny reward system for presidential friends and business associates. The only thing getting truly restored here is the golden age of tacky, barely-disguised grift.
#forever-grifting#corruption
truth social discovers gravity, loses $406m in three months
Artist’s rendering of Trump Media’s bitcoin treasury strategy, moments before impact.
Trump Media & Technology Group has heroically proven that you can run a social media platform like a meme stock subreddit. In Q1 2026, the parent company of Truth Social managed to lose almost $406 million while generating a bit over $870,000 in revenue – a business model best described as "set money on fire and call it free speech".
The magic trick comes from $3.5 billion in Bitcoin buys in 2025 for a so-called "bitcoin treasury," which is what you call it when a political cult decides to roleplay as a hedge fund. Now that crypto has dropped by about a third, the company is reporting huge "non-cash" losses on digital assets and securities. Translation: the money’s not technically gone, it’s just living on a sadder spreadsheet now.
Interim CEO Kevin McGurn insists the company has a "strong balance sheet" and "positive operating cashflow" while the actual numbers look like a financial Chernobyl. He also claims Truth Social "remains a bastion of free speech" with "innovative enhancements coming soon" – presumably more ways to monetize rage-posts from the guy who got banned from Twitter after his fans attacked the Capitol.
As a bonus subplot, the company is still trying to merge with nuclear fusion firm TAE Technologies in a $6 billion deal to "power AI datacenters," which is fitting: fusion, like Truth Social profitability, has famously never produced more energy than it consumes. But sure, keep talking about "shareholder value" while the balance sheet cosplays as a controlled demolition.
#forever-grifting#money
billionaire president shocked to discover things are expensive
President Trump, famous for gold-plated toilets, expresses deep concern that World Cup tickets might be too pricey for the common man.
The sitting president of the United States, a man who literally charges donors six figures to eat rubber chicken at his golf clubs, has discovered that World Cup tickets might cost $1,000 and bravely announced that he "wouldn't pay it either". Bold stance from the guy who turned the federal government into a Mar-a-Lago rewards program but draws the line at pricey soccer tickets.
Fifa is openly running a cash vacuum: dynamic pricing for group games, a resale platform that jacks prices up even more, and a 30% skim on every ticket – 15% from buyer, 15% from seller. Trump’s contribution to this corporate shakedown? Saying he’d be "disappointed" if the good people of Queens and Brooklyn – specifically "the people that love Donald Trump" – can’t afford to go, while still calling the whole thing an "amazing success". Nothing says "populist champion" like admiring the grift while your own voters are priced out of the event your country is co-hosting.
He doesn’t promise to regulate it, pressure Fifa, or use the bully pulpit for anything beyond a wistful "I’d like my voters to go". Just vibes, branding, and a casual shrug at a global sports cartel monetizing patriotism. The message is clear: if you can’t afford $1,000 to watch USA–Paraguay, maybe you should’ve invested in a few more condos and a family political dynasty.
#forever-grifting#money
trump asks taxpayers to pick up his $83 million tab
Trump, pondering which constitutional principle to hollow out next so he doesn’t have to write E. Jean Carroll a very large check.
Donald Trump is back in court, asking the 2nd Circuit to please hit pause on that pesky $83 million defamation judgment E. Jean Carroll won, so he can go beg the Supreme Court to declare that calling your alleged sexual assault victim a liar is an official presidential duty. Because when the framers wrote Article II, they clearly had "publicly smearing women who accuse you of rape" at the top of the job description.
The legal magic trick here is the Westfall Act: Trump wants his name swapped out for "The United States" as the defendant, which would make the case disappear since the government can’t be sued for defamation. Carroll’s jury award would go poof, and the message would be clear: if the president defames you while in office, congratulations, it’s now just a quirky feature of your democracy. Trump’s lawyers warn of "irreparable harm" to him if she’s allowed to collect, which is a poetic way of saying: he really does not want to pay this bill.
Carroll’s team, being far more practical than the former leader of the free world, says they’re fine with a pause as long as Trump posts an extra $7.46 million to cover interest while he tries to get the Supreme Court to turn presidential immunity into a full-service personal liability shield. And just to really drive home how warped this has gotten, the Justice Department—yes, your Justice Department—filed its own brief saying it sees "good cause" to ask the Supreme Court to help Trump offload his legal problems onto the American public. Apparently the new standard is: when a jury finds a president liable for defamation after an alleged sexual assault, the U.S. government’s role is to see if it can pick up the check.
#forever-grifting#killing-democracy
trump turns dc golf course into his own toxic waste bunker
East Potomac Golf Links, now featuring Trump’s signature course hazards: sand traps, water hazards, and trace amounts of lead and chromium.
The Trump administration has apparently decided that if it’s going to poison democracy, it might as well poison the fairways too. Rubble from Trump’s $400m White House East Wing demolition — the one he bulldozed to build a mega-ballroom for himself — was dumped at DC’s public East Potomac golf course and, shockingly, tests show it’s laced with lead, chromium, and other toxic metals. So the East Wing was so contaminated it had to be destroyed…but the debris is somehow safe enough to sprinkle over a municipal course where kids play. Very normal government decision-making here.
A federal judge, Ana Reyes, compared the whole mess to an episode of Parks and Recreation, except this is the version where Leslie Knope is replaced by a guy who terminates a 50-year lease with a nonprofit steward of public courses so he can "dramatically remake" the waterfront into an exclusive championship course and a "national garden of American heroes" slash donor magnet. The National Park Service is insisting there’s no big renovation imminent, while simultaneously doing “safety assessments” and watching fundraising documents go out with glossy renderings and cash-begging copy. The judge politely noted that when you’re already sending out pledge packets, you’re a bit past the "we’re just thinking about it" stage.
Meanwhile, preservation advocates are pointing out the obvious: the administration first claimed the East Wing had to be demolished because it was full of contaminants, and now the line is that the contaminated debris they trucked to a public course isn’t a problem. The course is supposed to be open and accessible to everyone; instead, it’s becoming a toxic billboard for Trump’s ongoing effort to privatize public space into luxury playgrounds for his friends — with the added bonus of possibly poisoning the locals. It’s infrastructure week, but make it radioactive.
#forever-grifting#corruption
trump burns the planet, lefties bring a coupon book
A neat stack of glossy "Stop Greed, Build Green" booklets, bravely attempting to counter an administration whose climate plan is basically "Stop Rules, Build Floodplains."
While Trump’s EPA is out back chainsawing what’s left of environmental protections, a bunch of progressives are doing something wildly off-brand for Washington: connecting climate policy to whether people can actually afford to live. The Climate and Community Institute (CCI) rolled out a "Stop Greed, Build Green" agenda that says the quiet part out loud — the climate crisis is directly jacking up rent, food, power bills and general economic misery, while Trump’s donors swim in record profits and deregulation champagne.
Instead of the usual "sorry about the floods, here’s a tax credit in 2037" routine, they’re pitching green economic populism: public power, union jobs, and using decarbonization to cut everyday costs instead of padding shareholder yachts. Their polling shows that 70% of voters — including a solid chunk of Republicans Trump pretends to speak for — think climate action can lower the cost of living. So naturally, the Trump braintrust’s climate strategy is to torch regulations, supercharge corporate price-gouging, and then scream about gas stoves on Fox while people choose between rent and an electric bill.
Naomi Klein, union leaders, DSA folks, and assorted lefty policy nerds are running around New York and DC trying to build a working-class climate agenda that doesn’t end with Exxon writing the bill. Meanwhile, the administration’s contribution to climate "policy" is to weaponize the cost-of-living crisis against any green measure, then blame "woke environmentalists" for the disasters its own deregulation is making worse. One side is trying to rewire the economy; the other is busy yanking out the smoke detectors and selling them for parts.
#forever-grifting#killing-democracy
trump toys with buying spirit airlines, discovers government is his favorite private equity fund
Artist’s rendering of the Trump administration’s airline rescue plan: a Spirit jet duct-taped to a gold-plated 757, both headed straight for a taxpayer-funded crater.
Spirit Airlines is circling the drain after running out of cash, failing to cut a deal with creditors, and discovering that Donald Trump’s idea of a “rescue” is mostly just saying the word “bailout” into a microphone and wandering off. The administration loudly floated a $500m federal loan and even mused about the government buying the airline outright so it could later “sell it for a profit,” because when you think disciplined long-term capital strategy, you obviously think Trump and the federal government playing day-trader with a discount carrier that charges you extra to have knees.
Instead of admitting the airline business is a cartel with wings, the White House helpfully blamed the Biden administration for blocking Spirit’s $3.8bn merger with JetBlue on antitrust grounds, insisting Spirit would be “on a much firmer financial footing” if regulators had just let two struggling airlines fuse into one bigger, more efficient bankruptcy. Now Spirit looks headed for liquidation, which experts warn will mean less competition and higher fares, while Delta’s CEO calmly notes that rich people are still flying and he can keep jacking up prices. Meanwhile, a coalition of other budget airlines is pitching Trump on a $2.5bn bailout, because once the president openly suggests the government should buy an airline like it’s a golf course, every low-cost carrier suddenly discovers its inner welfare queen.
The administration, of course, is treating the federal treasury like a private slush fund for whichever executives can whine the loudest about oil prices. Regulatory policy is now basically: if you’re a big carrier, you ride out the storm on premium fares; if you’re a struggling budget airline, you line up outside the White House to see if the guy who bankrupted a casino wants to run your balance sheet with taxpayer money. Limited government, but only until it can buy an airline on sale.
#forever-grifting#money
president golf cart begs pga to forgive saudi-funded deserters (who play at his clubs)
Trump thoughtfully weighs the national interest, then remembers LIV is paying to use his 14th fairway.
The sitting US president has once again bravely stepped up to defend the most oppressed people in America: multimillionaire golfers who took Saudi blood money and now want back into the PGA Tour after the Public Investment Fund started tightening the tap. From the Oval Office — the place where previous presidents dealt with, say, wars and pandemics — Trump mused dreamily about Rory vs Bryson and Rahm vs Scheffler, like a kid fantasy-booking WrestleMania, and confidently predicted that "they’ll all be back on tour and it’ll be great."
A small detail the White House etiquette guides forgot to cover: LIV’s next event is at Trump National in Virginia, and Harman is speaking from Trump National Doral in Miami. So the president is effectively doing a televised customer retention pitch for a breakaway league that literally pays him to use his golf courses. State power meets pro shop loyalty program. While actual PGA loyalists talk about consequences, resentment, and lawsuits, Trump’s contribution to the national conversation is: please be nice to the guys who helped Saudi sportswash murder and also keep my tee sheets full.
Players like Brian Harman and Jordan Spieth are out here gingerly debating penalties, “bad blood,” and antitrust scars, while the president reduces the whole thing to "time heals all wounds" and "they’re playing at my course in two weeks." It’s a perfect Trump-era morality play: ethics are negotiable, the presidency is a marketing arm, and the only thing more important than American institutions is ensuring that every future golf broadcast has a discreet aerial shot of a Trump logo on the clubhouse.
#forever-grifting#corruption
trump turns the kennedy center into the donald j. cultural landfill
Behold the Kennedy Center, currently starring in a high-budget remake of "Trump Tower: The Memorial Edition."
The Kennedy Center — you know, the living memorial to John F. Kennedy created by Congress — is currently being treated like just another gaudy Trump property in need of a rebranding and a chandelier the size of Ohio. Less than two months into his second term, Trump fired the Center’s leadership, purged Biden-appointed board members, replaced them with loyalists, and then had those loyalists vote to make him board chair and slap his name on the building. Congress did not approve that name change, because technically this is supposed to be a democracy and not an episode of The Apprentice: National Landmarks Edition.
Now, two lawsuits are begging a federal judge to stop this slow-motion arson of American culture. Rep. Joyce Beatty is suing to remove Trump’s name and halt the closure of the Center, while preservation and architecture groups are suing to block the shutdown until Congress actually sees and approves a real renovation plan. The administration, having secured $257 million in taxpayer money for “capital repair” and “security structures,” wants to close the whole place down on the promise that, unlike the East Wing demolition fiasco, this time the bulldozers will totally respect history and law. Plaintiffs, having watched Trump swear his White House ballroom wouldn’t "interfere" with the building right before the East Wing got wrecked, are suggesting that perhaps the guy who treats federal property like a personal casino renovation shouldn’t get another blank check.
Trump’s handpicked executive director testified that the building is in terrible shape and needs urgent work, which might be more compelling if this crowd hadn’t already used “it’s falling apart!” as the go-to excuse for everything from gutting agencies to walling off migrants. Past renovations happened while the Center stayed open; this time, the plan is: trust the man who just renamed a JFK memorial after himself and stacked the board with sycophants. The lawsuits basically ask the judge to enforce the radical proposition that Congress, not Trump’s ego, gets to decide what happens to a national cultural institution. The question before the court: will the Kennedy Center remain a memorial to John F. Kennedy, or become the world’s most expensive Trump event venue with a presidential assassination theme?
#forever-grifting#killing-democracy
epa now proudly stands for ‘every polluter accommodated’
EPA chief Lee Zeldin proudly surveys the smokestacks, confident the free market will filter the air using the power of positive thinking.
Trump’s EPA chief Lee Zeldin has apparently looked at an agency designed to protect air, water, and human lungs and thought, “What if this was just a concierge desk for fossil fuel companies?” According to Elizabeth Kolbert, Zeldin has been busy shredding regulations, slashing or outright deleting departments, and terminating the careers of scientists whose main crime was knowing what particulate matter is.
Trump, naturally, calls Zeldin “our secret weapon,” which is accurate if the war is against breathable air and drinkable water. With scientists escorted out and industry lobbyists effectively moved in, the EPA has been lovingly repurposed into a federally funded wish‑fulfillment service for polluters. Environmental protection has been replaced with environmental permission slips, and the only thing getting regulated anymore is how quickly the agency can sign off on corporate toxins.
This is not environmental policy so much as a controlled demolition of the concept of public health. The message from the administration is clear: if your business model depends on making people sick, the government is no longer your obstacle — it’s your partner.
#forever-grifting#anti-science
justice department moonlights as trump’s real estate lawyer
Construction crews quietly turn a demolished historic wing into a $400m presidential panic disco while a judge’s order waves politely from the rubble.
The Department of Justice, formerly known for things like "law" and "professionalism", has now submitted a court filing that reads like it was ghostwritten by Truth Social. Acting Attorney General Todd Blanche is begging a federal judge to let Trump restart his $400m White House ballroom project, citing the recent shooting at the Correspondents’ Dinner as proof that what America really needs is… a larger, fancier presidential party bunker.
The minor hitch: preservationists say Trump had no legal authority to bulldoze the historic East Wing without Congress and agency approvals, a concern Trump initially dodged by claiming the new structure would be merely "near" the East Wing before, you know, demolishing it. DOJ’s filing responds not with serious constitutional reasoning, but by accusing the National Trust for Historic Preservation of "Trump Derangement Syndrome" and praising Trump as a "highly successful real estate developer" with special abilities that other presidents apparently lack.
Legal experts note the judge is unlikely to be impressed by a brief that sounds like a campaign rally transcript stapled to a zoning variance. Meanwhile, the Trust politely reminds the government that their lawsuit "endangers no one" and simply asks the administration to follow the law — a standard that now apparently qualifies as deranged. The White House keeps building below ground despite a court order, the East Wing is gone, and the Justice Department is out here cosplaying as the Trump Organization’s in‑house counsel. Separation of powers? No thanks. We’re doing separation of historic architecture instead.
#forever-grifting#killing-democracy
trump spends billions to stop cheap wind, buys himself some nice oil instead
The Trump energy strategy in one image: a wind turbine being quietly dismantled while an oil rig gets a taxpayer-funded champagne bath in the background.
The Trump administration has discovered a bold new form of energy efficiency: it’s extremely efficient at turning offshore wind projects into cash payouts for fossil fuel investors. Interior just blocked two already-permitted wind farms and promised the companies millions in refunds — but only if they plow that money straight into oil, gas, or LNG. It’s like a green energy program run by Exxon’s legal department: you get reimbursed for not building clean power, as long as you help cook the planet faster.
This follows last month’s little $1bn love letter to a French energy company to kill yet another wind project, conveniently sidestepping those pesky courts that already told Trump he can’t just scream “national security” whenever a turbine hurts his feelings. Interior secretary Doug Burgum is out here declaring that Americans are finally free from “expensive, unreliable, intermittent” wind, while simultaneously paying companies not to build projects that would power millions of homes during an energy crunch partly caused by Trump’s war in Iran and the AI datacenter boom. Stunning commitment to affordability: jack up prices, then kill the cheap power.
Democrats Jared Huffman and Jamie Raskin are politely asking why the government is doing secret backroom deals to pay corporations not to provide affordable, clean electricity, and whether that’s even legal. Meanwhile, Trump is still ranting that wind is “worthless” and “ugly,” a position he’s held since he tried to stop turbines from ruining the view from his Scottish golf course — turbines that now power up to 80,000 homes, which is roughly 80,000 more homes than his policies will help. The message from this White House is clear: if it spins in the wind, kill it with taxpayer cash; if it pumps gas, back up the Brinks truck.
#forever-grifting#anti-science#killing-democracy
trump turns lincoln’s reflecting pool into a campaign hot tub
Workers bravely attempt to turn a historic national memorial into the world’s saddest luxury condo pool, per executive direction.
Washington woke up to find the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool drained, full of construction equipment, porta-potties, and a few guys hosing down the bottom with what looks like Home Depot’s "Florida cul-de-sac" blue. President Trump, naturally, calls it “American flag blue” and insists it will take just one week and cost a very chill $2 million — which, coincidentally, is exactly the sort of number you throw out when you’ve never once dealt with a government procurement rule in your life.
Instead of, say, the National Park Service leading a transparent preservation project for one of the country’s most famous memorial spaces, Trump proudly tells reporters he’s working with “one of his best pool builders” from his real estate days. Because when you’re dealing with a historic national monument, why not subcontract it like a New Jersey golf course water feature? NPR politely asked NPS for details on the cost, contract, and upkeep; the agency responded with the traditional Trump-era answer: total silence.
The plan is to turn the dignified, gray granite basin that once reflected civil rights marches and anti-war protests into something that looks like the shallow end at a mid-range resort. It’s the Trump aesthetic in a nutshell: take a site tied to democracy and sacrifice, slap a brand color on it, declare patriotic victory, and let the taxpayers pick up the tab while the paperwork – and the oversight – mysteriously vanish into the blue.
#forever-grifting#killing-democracy#full-stupid
trump flirts with buying spirit airlines, because what’s one more bankrupt brand
Artist’s rendering of Spirit Airlines after a Trump bailout: same cramped seats, now with taxpayer legroom.
The White House is apparently workshopping a new business model: failing airline private losses, taxpayer-funded upside. Spirit Airlines, the country’s largest budget carrier and frequent flyer in bankruptcy court, has burned through about $7.4bn in debt, face-planted through two bankruptcies in under a year, and is now staring down liquidation as fuel prices spike thanks to the Iran war. Enter Donald Trump, who is "thinking about" giving Spirit a $500m loan or just having the federal government buy the airline, then magically "sell it for a profit" when oil prices go down — because nothing says sound economic policy like treating the U.S. Treasury as a Trump-branded day-trading account.
The White House, via spokesperson Kush Desai, has already found the real villain here: not Spirit’s business model built on fees and prayers, not its mountain of debt, but the Biden administration, which had the audacity to let an antitrust judge block JetBlue from swallowing Spirit in 2024. Now Trump is musing about unprecedented federal ownership of a private airline, while simultaneously poo-pooing a United–American mega-merger after chatting with United’s CEO about consolidating the skies. Regulatory consistency? That’s for countries that aren’t run like a reality show reboot.
If the government just hands Spirit the loan, it lurches on in “restructured” form, still charging people $60 to bring their dignity on board. If Trump actually buys it, we’d be in uncharted territory: a government-owned discount airline in an industry that’s already a four-player oligopoly. Experts politely note that this does nothing to fix the cartel-style pricing, serial bankruptcies, and chronic lack of competition — but it does create a beautiful new opportunity for political meddling, patronage jobs, and future fire sales of public assets to whichever airline lobbyist brings the biggest check. Forever-grifting, now boarding all zones.
#forever-grifting#oligarchy
maga, maha, and monsanto walk into a supreme court
Supreme Court justices preparing to hear whether Monsanto’s right to a clean balance sheet outweighs your right to a functioning lymphatic system.
The Supreme Court is taking up a Monsanto case that could tell cancer patients: "Sorry about the lymphoma, but have you tried thoughts and prayers?" Monsanto wants the justices to declare that because EPA hasn’t officially linked glyphosate to cancer, states can’t let people sue over Roundup’s missing cancer warning. Federal pesticide law, they argue, should function as a corporate force field: once the EPA signs off, the label is holy scripture and your tumors are just an unfortunate rounding error.
The Trump administration’s Justice Department eagerly jumped in to back Monsanto, filing briefs to help shut down these pesky "failure-to-warn" lawsuits. So while Trump is out promising to "Make America Healthy Again" and handing HHS to RFK Jr., his lawyers are at SCOTUS arguing that if a chemical company follows the flimsy federal rules, the people it allegedly poisons should lose their day in court. MAHA voters list pesticide limits as a core priority; Trump’s DOJ lists "protecting Bayer’s balance sheet" as theirs.
On the courthouse steps, MAHA activists, environmentalists, and even odd-bedfellows Reps. Thomas Massie and Chellie Pingree are rallying together to demand accountability from the chemical industry. Inside, the fight is over whether FIFRA is a floor for safety or a ceiling for corporate responsibility. Monsanto already agreed to a $7.25 billion settlement for Roundup cancer claims, but still wants SCOTUS to wipe out huge remaining verdicts and future liability. Meanwhile, House Republicans are helpfully trying to jam pesticide lawsuit shields into the farm bill, because if there’s one thing this government can still do efficiently, it’s preemptively rescuing corporations from the consequences of their products.
#forever-grifting#killing-democracy
united as one (corporate extraction unit)
Fans arrive at a ‘UNITED AS ONE’ World Cup match, pausing briefly to sell a kidney to cover parking before submitting their biometric data to FIFA and friends.
The great "UNITED 2026" World Cup bid promised human rights, unity, and affordable tickets. What fans got instead is a joint venture between FIFA and late-stage capitalism, now proudly co-branded with Trump’s "what if we invaded our co-hosts" foreign policy. Tickets that were supposed to top out around $1,550 are now hitting $10,990 for the final, with "dynamic pricing" used the way a mugger uses a crowbar. FIFA graciously sprinkled in a few $60 seats – roughly 1.6% of capacity – like a billionaire tossing coins off a yacht and calling it wealth redistribution.
The grift doesn’t stop at tickets. FIFA and its local government helpers have turned basic logistics into a premium suffering experience. Parking averages $175 and climbs to $300 in LA, while tailgating – that dangerous act of people having fun without paying for it – is being strangled by bloated security perimeters. Don’t want to park? Mass transit that was supposed to be complimentary now costs $150 round-trip on NJ Transit for a ride that’s normally $12.90, and $80 in Boston for a trip that’s usually $20. Qatar and Russia managed to make trains free with match tickets, but the "land of the free" saw that and said, "Wait, you’re not charging anything?"
To really complete the dystopia, FIFA is hoovering up personal data from stadium workers and reserving the right to share it with "law enforcement and intelligence agencies" including ICE. In Los Angeles, unions are understandably worried that a job pouring beer at a match now comes with a side quest of potential immigration enforcement. So while Trump muses about annexing Canada and sending troops into Mexico, FIFA quietly builds a surveillance-adjacent database and a global pay-to-enter zone where the hosts eat the costs and FIFA walks away with the ticket, broadcast, merch, concessions, and parking money. Truly a shining example of North American "unity": three countries, one governing body, and absolutely zero shame.
#forever-grifting#killing-democracy
