The Trump Presidency Is Going Great

President Trump, in his unparalleled quest for a merit-based military, has signed an executive order to eradicate those pesky diversity, equity, and inclusion programs. Because nothing says 'combat readiness' like ignoring systemic issues and reverting to the good ol' days of monochrome leadership. In other words, if it ain't broke, break it and call it a win. Not to be outdone, Trump's order also mandates that the military stop teaching about America's 'racist or sexist' founding documents—history? who needs it!—and instead sing praises of these documents as the greatest force for good in the world. Meanwhile, Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth has 90 days to find the DEI programs hiding in the Pentagon's broom closet and report back. Here's to solving military issues with the wisdom of 'just don't talk about it.'

In a shocking turn of events, Trump has pardoned nearly all those convicted in relation to the January 6 insurrection, because nothing says 'law and order' like a get out of jail free card for your most loyal rioters. Historians, those pesky truth-keepers, are sounding alarm bells about the normalization of political violence—but sure, why listen to the experts when you can keep playing the strongman handbook? Ruth Ben-Ghiat, a historian who studies authoritarian regimes, notes that this move is right out of the autocrat playbook, used by none other than Mussolini and Pinochet. In other words, Trump is now doing his best impression of failed fascist leaders. But hey, remember when political violence was just a one-off event? Now it's a regularly scheduled part of American life, just like Thanksgiving, but with less family drama and more threats to democracy.