trump doj fires antitrust chief for insufficient corporate worship
Pam Bondi and Gail Slater reenact corporate antitrust policy: one pushes, the other falls, and the merger walks away untouched.
The head of the Justice Department’s antitrust division, Gail Slater, has been gently escorted to the nearest window and pushed out of the Trump administration after making the unforgivable mistake of occasionally acting like an antitrust lawyer instead of a mergers concierge. Slater tried to block a $14bn Hewlett Packard Enterprise–Juniper Networks merger on boring "competition" grounds, which enraged Attorney General Pam Bondi and the White House’s business-class fan club. When Slater said intel agencies had no national security problem with blocking the deal, CIA director John Ratcliffe popped up later to say actually, allowing the merger was a national security must-have, raising the obvious question of whether national security now means "don’t upset big donors".
Her internal enemies won: DOJ dropped the suit, cut a settlement, and then quietly fired two of Slater’s deputies, prompting Senate Democrats to ask a federal judge to investigate whether the government’s antitrust position was being run by lawyers or by political bagmen. Slater, once boosted into Trumpworld by JD Vance and confirmed 78–something in the Senate, watched her support evaporate as Vance got tired of her telling people he had her back, while Bondi seethed over everything from the merger fight to Slater attending an OECD conference after Bondi said no and then having her government credit cards canceled like a bad airline. Now Omeed Assefi is stepping in as acting antitrust chief, and the message from the Trump DOJ is clear: antitrust is fine, as long as it never actually inconveniences a multibillion-dollar merger or a political ally.
#corruption#forever-grifting
ghislaine maxwell pitches trump the world's grossest plea deal
America’s worst LinkedIn profile photo: two people who knew everybody and remember nothing.
Ghislaine Maxwell beamed into the House Oversight Committee, said absolutely nothing, and then had her lawyer announce she’s ready to “speak fully and honestly” — just as soon as Donald Trump hands her a get-out-of-prison-(more)-free card. The message couldn’t be clearer: presidential clemency is now being treated like a premium subscription tier for access to the truth about Jeffrey Epstein.
Her attorney helpfully pre-cleared both Trump and Bill Clinton as innocent of any wrongdoing, promising that only Maxwell can explain why, once she’s been liberated by the very guy who “hasn’t thought about” pardoning her, except for when he publicly refuses to rule it out. Meanwhile, she keeps her mouth shut under the Fifth, sits in a cushier Texas prison camp, and dangles potential testimony over Congress like a paywalled confession.
Republicans like James Comer are suddenly against clemency, Democrats like Ro Khanna are flirting with retaliatory harsher confinement, and Maxwell’s lawyer is accusing Congress of authoritarianism for wanting consequences. So the authoritarian card is now being played by the legal team of a convicted sex trafficker trying to bargain for a Trump pardon. American justice has entered the DLC phase, and the price of the expansion pack is presidential corruption.
#corruption#forever-grifting#killing-democracy
trump sues himself for $10 billion, demands taxpayers pick a side
Trump explaining how, if you really think about it, suing yourself for $10 billion actually proves how much you care about taxpayers.
President Donald Trump has decided that separation of powers is overrated and is now suing the federal government he runs for $10 billion over the leak of his tax returns—an amount that just casually clocks in at more than 80% of the IRS’s entire budget last year. He swears any taxpayer money he wins will go to charity, “approved by government or whatever,” which is definitely the kind of precise, arms-length standard you want when the plaintiff and the guy who appoints the attorney general are the same person.
Watchdog groups, ethics experts, and even a few Republicans not currently auditioning for a cabinet job are pointing out the tiny issue that Trump is effectively both plaintiff and defendant here, raising the question of whether the Justice Department will zealously defend the public treasury against the boss’s personal jackpot fantasy. Sen. Adam Schiff calls it a “perverse kind of credit for the sheer audacity of the scam,” while Sen. Thom Tillis just goes with “weird,” which is one way to describe a president trying to raid the Treasury via lawsuit like it’s his own GoFundMe.
The whole circus now sits in the lap of Judge Kathleen Williams, who has to decide whether a case where one man is on both sides of the "v." is even a real legal dispute. Legal ethicists note that the Constitution requires true adverse parties, which this very much is not unless Trump starts arguing with himself on the stand. Meanwhile, Attorney General Pam Bondi, who serves at Trump’s pleasure, is supposed to defend the government against Trump’s demands—though GOP senators privately admit that if she actually did that, she’d probably be updating her LinkedIn by morning. American governance continues its bold experiment in seeing how close you can get to a personal cash grab from the public till before someone in power says no.
#corruption#forever-grifting
gateway tunnel held hostage for the church of trump
Artist’s rendering of Trump International Airport & Train Station & Constitutional Crisis, sponsored by your federal tax dollars.
The Trump White House has apparently decided that infrastructure funding is now a personal branding opportunity. According to multiple reports, the administration told Chuck Schumer that if he wants the already-appropriated Gateway tunnel money actually released, New York’s Penn Station and Washington’s Dulles International Airport should be renamed after Donald Trump. You know, just normal democratic governance where thousands of union jobs and a critical rail tunnel under the Hudson are contingent on everyone agreeing to live inside his ego.
The $16 billion project has been starved of cash ever since the administration froze the money during last fall’s shutdown, under the cover story that they were protecting America from the grave threat of "unconstitutional DEI principles." New York and New Jersey have had to sue to pry loose funds Congress already approved, while the project warns it will run out of money on Friday and start laying off workers. But the president could "restart the funding with a snap of his fingers," as a Schumer ally notes — he’s just choosing to use that snap as a shakedown for naming rights.
Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand called the demand "ridiculous," pointing out that naming rights and the dignity of New Yorkers are not bargaining chips in Trump’s latest vanity auction. Meanwhile, the administration is busy slapping his name on anything that doesn’t move: TrumpRX for drugs, Trump Gold Cards for rich would‑be immigrants, the Trump-ified U.S. Institute of Peace, and even a board vote to brand the Kennedy Center with his moniker. Now he’s moved on to airports and train stations, because nothing says constitutional republic like the president holding critical infrastructure hostage until the country agrees to live in a gaudy, federally funded billboard for himself.
On the bright side, at least we can retire the phrase "pay-to-play". This is more "pay-or-we-shut-down-your-rail-system-until-you-name-it-after-me" — a nice, efficient merger of narcissism, extortion, and governance.
#corruption#killing-democracy
good chaps, bad friends: mandelson, epstein and the untouchable lords
Lord Mandelson in 2008, moments before being granted lifetime access to the ‘no consequences for peers’ programme.
Peter Mandelson, New Labour’s original Prince of Darkness, has finally discovered the one scandal you can’t just spin away: being all over the US Department of Justice’s Epstein files while the Met investigates you for potential misconduct in public office. After decades gliding around Westminster like a Bond villain with a diary, his career has hit what polite people call a “shuddering halt” and impolite people call “wow, those flight logs aged badly.”
The best part? Even now, under investigation and forced out as UK ambassador to Washington, Mandelson still keeps the title, the seat, and the comfy red-leather forever-club of the House of Lords. As Guardian investigator Henry Dyer dryly notes, peers are supposedly governed by the “good chap” theory – a system where billionaires’ buddies are trusted to regulate themselves on the basis of personal honour. Shockingly, a chamber stuffed with lobbyists, donors and retired ministers has not turned out to be a model of ethical self-policing.
While Labour MPs mutter that Keir Starmer’s premiership might not survive appointing Epstein’s well-connected pal as US ambassador, the constitutional reality is bleakly simple: you can lose your job, your reputation and your usefulness to the party, but that lifetime seat in the Lords? That’s basically bolted to the floor. Britain’s unelected upper house continues to function as a cross between a retirement home for political fixers and a witness protection programme for reputations, running on the quaint assumption that everyone there is a good chap right up until the police show up.
#corruption#killing-democracy
ai, crypto, and trump’s favorite oligarchs build a democracy‑optional future
Marc Andreessen, pausing briefly from reinventing feudalism with venture capital to fund an AI super PAC that primary-hunts anyone who suggests maybe the machines shouldn’t run everything yet.
America’s brightest minds in unregulated money and unaccountable algorithms are teaming up with Donald Trump to make sure voters have as little say as possible in the 2026 midterms. Pro-crypto outfits like Fairshake waddled into 2026 with nearly $194 million to spend, because nothing says “innovation” like a gigantic dark-money firehose aimed at anyone who dares regulate their casino. Their AI cousins at Leading the Future — bankrolled by Greg Brockman, Marc Andreessen, Ben Horowitz and friends — are sitting on another $39 million, already targeting a New York candidate whose crime was sponsoring AI safety legislation. In other words: write laws to keep the robots from wrecking everything, and the billionaires’ super PAC will try to wreck your career instead.
Hovering above it all like a bloated orange Death Star is MAGA Inc., Trump’s main super PAC, which finished 2025 with a casual $304 million in the bank. A big chunk of that came from people with business in front of the administration or family members staring down legal jeopardy — so at least the bribery-to-pardon pipeline is being handled with admirable efficiency. Trump can’t legally run for a third term (despite his constant fan fiction), but with that kind of cash, he doesn’t need to be on the ballot to own the GOP; he just has to keep writing checks and menacing primaries.
Meanwhile, Elon Musk — the man who threatened a third party and then wandered back like a sitcom character who never really left — is cutting $5 million checks to the Senate Leadership Fund and Congressional Leadership Fund, and quietly topping up his own America PAC after spending a quarter-billion last cycle to reinstall Trump. Democrats, for their part, are dutifully playing the same game: House Majority PAC, Senate-aligned groups, and AIPAC’s United Democracy Project are all stockpiling tens of millions to decide which candidates are acceptable to donors before voters ever see a ballot. But sure, tell yourself we still have representative democracy, not a full-time auction where policy is written by whoever can light the biggest pile of crypto and AI money on fire.
#corruption#oligarchy#killing-democracy
lindsey graham shuts down government to protect lindsey graham
Lindsey Graham, bravely defending the sacred constitutional right of senators to cash in if the DOJ looks at their phone records.
Lindsey Graham spent 24 hours holding the government hostage because the new funding deal dared to repeal his favorite little side hustle: a custom provision that lets him and seven other GOP senators sue the DOJ for potentially millions if their phone records were subpoenaed in Trump coup investigations without their knowledge. In other words, Congress almost shut the lights off so Lindsey could keep his "hurt feelings = cash payout" clause intact.
Last year, during the great MAGA Shutdown Spectacular, Graham quietly tucked into the reopening deal a provision that applies only to senators, conveniently including himself, to sue if investigators accessed their phone records. House members from both parties noticed that this smelled less like oversight and more like Senate VIP Rewards Points, so they repealed it in the latest six-bill funding package. Senate negotiators agreed — and Graham promptly lost his mind, dressing it up as a principled stand for DHS and ICE, because nothing says "law and order" like demanding special legal protections for the guys who helped enable an attempted coup.
Graham ranted about ICE agents being "demonized" and "spat upon" while the real crime, apparently, is that Jack Smith’s "Arctic Frost" probe dared to look at his call logs. He insisted "every senator" should want this protection, which is a cute way of saying: we’d like to be above the law now, please. When the White House and Chuck Schumer cut a deal with Trump without involving him, Graham reminded everyone he’s an ally of the White House but "not owned by them" — just a guy who will tank a funding bill unless he gets a vote on his sanctuary cities bill and a rebranded version of his Arctic Frost perk that he swears contains "no enrichment" for him anymore. Because nothing screams innocence like promising to slightly dial back the self-dealing once you’re caught.
He even threatened Speaker Mike Johnson for repealing his provision without asking permission: "Speaker Johnson, I won’t forget this." In normal democracies, lawmakers fight to protect citizens’ rights from government overreach. In Trump’s America, Lindsey Graham nearly shuts down the government so he can keep a personalized legal cheat code in case the DOJ notices his role in the 2020 election mess. But sure, tell us more about how the real problem is "open borders" and not a senator trying to legislate himself a get-rich-off-investigations card.
#corruption#forever-grifting
trump doj heroically dumps 3 million pages of ‘totally not incriminating’ epstein files
America’s most connected sex trafficker, seen here during one of the many, many times the system politely looked the other way.
The Trump justice department has proudly announced it is releasing more than 3 million pages of Jeffrey Epstein files, along with over 2,000 videos and 180,000 images, because nothing says “we definitely didn’t help cover any of this up” like a document tsunami dropped years after Epstein conveniently stopped being available for questioning. Deputy attorney general Todd Blanche says this Herculean paperwork dump is all part of complying with the Epstein Files Transparency Act—which is Washington-speak for "fine, you caught us, here’s the stuff we didn’t manage to bury."
Blanche also bragged that the Trump administration has produced roughly 3.5 million pages in total, as if volume equals virtue and not "we redacted the good parts and buried them in a PDF labyrinth so dense it should come with a Sherpa." In other words, the same government that once let Epstein walk away with a sweetheart deal is now tossing millions of pages into the public record and calling it accountability. But sure, dump a warehouse of files on a Friday and pretend that’s justice—because in Trump’s America, transparency means "you can technically see it, if you can afford a full-time research team and several spare lifetimes."
#corruption#lawlessness
environmental protection agency decides environment, people overrated
Lee Zeldin outside the White House, presumably pausing between deleting climate data and checking his inbox for "please let us pollute more" emails.
The Trump EPA, now helmed by Lee Zeldin, has looked at its mission of "protecting human health and the environment" and decided that was cute, but what if instead it just protected coal companies, gas guzzlers, and AI server farms? In the first year back under Trump, the agency has clocked 66 environmental rollbacks, slashing limits on mercury and soot, killing grants for renewables and toxic communities, gutting clean water protections, and even deleting mentions of the climate crisis from its own website—because nothing says "serious governing" like editing reality out of your About page.
The real innovation, though, is philosophical: the EPA is now assigning a new monetary value to human life in air pollution rules, and that value is zero. The agency will no longer count the health costs from common air pollutants, but will still lovingly tabulate what regulations cost industry. In other words, your lungs are worthless, but a coal plant’s compliance budget is priceless. This comes on top of the plan to rescind the 2009 endangerment finding—the legal backbone for federal climate action—essentially trying to erase the government’s own obligation to act on greenhouse gases, something even George H.W. Bush’s EPA chief calls "revolutionary" in the "are you kidding me" sense.
To recap: Trump promised to "unleash" oil, gas, and AI by bulldozing a "globalist climate agenda," and Zeldin’s EPA has responded by inviting polluters to email in for exemptions from black-letter air laws, rewriting cost-benefit math so that industry always wins, and trying to legally blindfold the federal government on climate. The official line is that these are just "updates" guided by science and concern for taxpayers. The unofficial reality is that the Environmental Protection Agency has been rebranded as the Environmental Profit Assurance office—but sure, tell us again how this is all about freedom and efficiency.
#corruption#forever-grifting
treasury bravely protects billionaires from embarrassment
Pictured: the moment Washington decided the real problem with the tax system was that the public found out how rigged it is.
The Treasury Department has heroically canceled $21 million in Booz Allen Hamilton contracts after a contractor leaked IRS data showing how the ultra-wealthy — including Donald Trump, Elon Musk, and Jeff Bezos — pay little or nothing in taxes. Because nothing says "restoring trust in government" like making sure no one ever again finds out how thoroughly the tax code has been engineered to kiss the ring of the billionaire class.
Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent tore up 31 contracts and declared this an "essential step" to rebuilding confidence, which is an interesting way of saying: we can’t have the peasants seeing the receipts. The leaker, Booz Allen contractor Charles Edward Littlejohn, already got five years in prison for exposing how the richest people on earth treat the IRS like a suggestion box, but apparently that wasn’t enough punishment for the crime of publicly humiliating Trump and his fellow tax contortionists.
Booz Allen, for its part, insists it’s shocked — shocked! — by Treasury’s decision, stressing that the leaks happened on government systems, not theirs, and that they helpfully assisted in the investigation that put Littlejohn behind bars. In other words: they’re very committed to ethics, as long as those ethics begin and end with protecting the confidentiality of billionaires’ shell games, not the public’s right to know that the system is a joke.
So the message is clear: if you’re a billionaire, the government will bend over backwards to safeguard your privacy as you legally acrobat your way out of paying taxes. If you expose that rigged circus? Enjoy prison, canceled contracts, and a federal government that treats transparency like the real crime.
#corruption#oligarchy
trump defunds fraud cops to chase asylum seekers
Trump’s America: FBI agents doing immigration checks while corporate fraudsters relax and work on their *own* jigsaw puzzles made of shredded subpoenas.
In Trump’s second-term reboot of law and order, "nobody is above the law" has been updated to "unless you wear a suit and donate generously". Elizabeth Warren, Richard Blumenthal, AOC, Dan Goldman, and Madeleine Dean just dropped a letter to multiple inspectors general accusing the administration of quietly yanking more than 25,000 federal agents off fraud, tax evasion, money laundering, sanctions, cybercrime, and public corruption cases so they can instead help Trump run his sprawling civil immigration dragnet. Because nothing says "protecting American families" like shutting down white-collar investigations so the FBI can guard detention centers and do immigration checks.
The FBI has allegedly diverted nearly a quarter of its agents nationwide – up to 40% in major offices – away from corporate and public corruption cases. IRS criminal investigators? 1,700 of them reassigned, up from 250 last summer, because why chase tax cheats when you can chase gardeners. Homeland Security Investigations – once the place you went to bust global fraud – is reportedly now 90% focused on deportations. Even the Postal Inspection Service, famous for nailing mail fraud, is now apparently playing border cop. In other words, if you’re running a massive financial scam, the odds of a knock at your door just went from "eventually" to "only if you forget to renew your passport".
The Justice Department’s public integrity section – the unit that prosecutes corrupt politicians – has been shrunk from 36 lawyers to just two, with the rest shipped off to a shiny new "sanctuary cities enforcement" team where some reportedly have so little to do they’re passing the time with jigsaw puzzles. Meanwhile, Trump has been handing out pardons like MAGA merch, erasing an estimated $1.3bn in fines and restitution owed to taxpayers and victims. Democrats warn that corruption and fraud cases are being delayed or abandoned entirely as investigators are pulled off long-running probes, leaving Americans more exposed to scams, market manipulation, and predatory financial practices – but sure, tell us again how this is the tough on crime administration.
Blumenthal calls the whole thing a reckless diversion of resources in service of Trump’s "brutal, ruthless" immigration agenda, while Goldman points out that 25,000 fewer white-collar cops is basically an engraved invitation for fraudsters. The letter asks watchdogs to tally the damage: how many agents were moved, how many cases stalled or killed, and what whistleblowers have been saying as the corporate crime beat is hollowed out. Translation: Trump is using the immigration panic as cover to stand down the cops policing his donor class – a neat little two-for-one where you terrorize immigrants and let white-collar criminals cash out in peace.
#corruption#killing-democracy
ford tough on regulations, soft on that whole ‘planet survives’ thing
Trump and Ford execs touring a factory, presumably scouting which regulations to crush under the next F-150’s wheels.
The Trump administration is getting ready to nuke the EPA’s 2009 endangerment finding — the legal backbone for basically every US climate regulation — and it turns out the White House may have had a little help from its friends in Detroit. The Senate environment committee, led by Sheldon Whitehouse, has expanded its probe of fossil-fuel lobbyists and think-tank ghouls to include Ford Motor Company, after Trump accidentally did the thing he never does: tell the truth on a hot mic.
During a tour of a Ford plant, Trump bragged that CEO Jim Farley “calls me all the time: ‘Can we get rid of this environmental piece of garbage?’” — because nothing says responsible corporate citizenship like begging the president to let your exhaust pipes cook the atmosphere a little faster. Whitehouse called it what it is: Trump boasting about working “hand in glove” with industry to unleash more pollution on American communities, while the EPA under Lee Zeldin dutifully moves to shred a Supreme-Court-upheld finding that greenhouse gases endanger public health.
Ford, meanwhile, is playing its favorite game: Climate Hero in Public, Climate Arsonist in the Back Room. The company pledges net-zero emissions, posts glossy sustainability PDFs, and says nice things about the Paris agreement — then stays in trade groups that fight EPA rules and cheers Trump’s rollback of fuel economy standards as “aligning with market realities.” In other words, Ford is proudly committed to saving the planet, just as soon as it squeezes every last dollar out of making it uninhabitable.
Whitehouse calls the move a “corrupt rollback” that will leave Americans with dirtier air, higher health costs, and a climate-driven economic collapse. But sure, let’s pretend this is all about freeing the market from burdensome regulations, and not about a president and an automaker teaming up to cash out the future so Jim Farley doesn’t have to slightly inconvenience the F-150.
#corruption#killing-democracy
bitcoin jesus and the church of trumpian indulgences
A Trump-era Justice Department official, seen here explaining that tax evasion is only a crime if you can’t afford Chris Kise.
In Trump’s America, the only unforgivable crime is being poor. Roger Ver, the crypto billionaire formerly known as an American citizen, spent eight years dodging a criminal tax case the old-fashioned way: with lawyers, stalling, and living in Mallorca. When that didn’t work, he tried something radical — he went on X, slapped on a crooked flag pin, and begged Donald Trump for help like a man auditioning for a Fox News telethon.
Prosecutors had built Ver up as the marquee case for crypto tax evasion: extradition request, fugitive status, millions allegedly dodged, the whole thing. Then Trump’s second-term Justice Department arrived, and suddenly the law became more of a vibes-based suggestion. Ver hired one of the so‑called "Friends of Trump" — including former Trump attorney Chris Kise — and magically the case was yanked away from career prosecutors and dropped into the warm, sticky hands of Trump’s political appointees.
From there, it was full oligarchy speedrun. A newly installed DOJ leader who used to represent Trump’s family literally asked whether tax evasion should even be a crime — because nothing says "law and order" like questioning whether laws should exist. Ver’s team then helped write their own deal: no guilty plea, no prison, and a $49.9 million payout that basically equaled the taxes he allegedly dodged. Not a penalty, just a slightly delayed payment plan. They even dictated that the agreement couldn’t include the word "fraud," because language matters when you’re laundering reputations.
Meanwhile, Trump’s DOJ quietly blew up the criminal tax division, scattering its work across other offices like confetti at a white-collar crime parade. Tax prosecutions plunged by more than a quarter, veteran prosecutors fled, and rich people everywhere learned an important civics lesson: if you’re indicted, don’t worry — just renounce your citizenship, move to Spain, hire a "Friend of Trump," and you too can experience the miracle of American justice. But sure, tell us again how the real problem is people stealing diapers from Target.
#corruption#forever-grifting#killing-democracy
trump turns the pardon office into a wealth management firm
Changpeng Zhao, freshly upgraded from "money laundering enabler" to "official victim of Biden" by the Trump White House’s new Premier Platinum Pardon Program.
One year into Term 2 and Donald Trump has discovered a bold new use for presidential clemency: debt relief for rich crooks. Over half of his 88 individual pardons are for white‑collar crimes — money laundering, bank fraud, wire fraud — and about half of the lucky winners are business execs or politicians. Together, this year’s 87 people and one corporation had been ordered to cough up more than $298 million in fines and restitution, which Trump helpfully vaporized, because nothing says "law and order" like telling victims and taxpayers to get bent.
Among the VIPs walking out of the accountability store with a zero balance: Binance founder Changpeng Zhao (money-laundering enabled crypto king), billionaire insider trader Joe Lewis, and banker Julio Herrera Velutini, who was waiting to be sentenced for campaign finance crimes before Trump decided that was actually a feature, not a bug. Also on the list: HDR Global Trading (hit with a $100 million AML fine), Zhao’s own $50 million tab, and Devon Archer, ordered to pay back most of the $60 million he helped siphon from the Oglala Sioux Tribe. Toss in siblings who sold millions of counterfeit 5‑Hour Energy — one of whom Trump already commuted once — and you’ve got a presidential tradition now known as recidivist rewards.
The White House insists there’s a "very thorough review process" and that Trump is merely rescuing people "abused" by a "weaponized" Biden DOJ. Trump himself told CBS he had "no idea" who Zhao is, but was assured he’s a fellow "victim" of Biden, and that he’s "not concerned" about the appearance of corruption — he just wants America to be "No. 1 in crypto." In other words, the official standard for a pardon is: rich, connected, or useful to Trump’s vibes. Meanwhile, Democrats and watchdogs point out that his second-term pardons have already wiped out more financial penalties than his entire first term, and orders of magnitude more than Obama or Biden ever did. But sure, tell us again how he’s draining the swamp while he turns the pardon power into a concierge service for oligarchs and fraudsters.
#corruption#forever-grifting#crypto
america first, ethics last: trump launches conflict-of-interest etfs
The New York Stock Exchange celebrates the launch of "America First" ETFs, where the only real underlying asset is the president’s ego and a total absence of shame.
Donald Trump has discovered a bold new innovation in governance: why merely be president when you can also be a walking SPAC? The Trump Media and Technology Group has spun Truth Social into a whole patriotic financial ecosystem: five "America First" ETFs, a nuclear fusion company (sure), a crypto bank-in-waiting, and a meme coin that crashed faster than his approval ratings. All of this is happening while Trump sits in the White House, insisting there are no conflicts of interest, because nothing says "clean government" like a president whose personal brand is literally ticker-symbolized.
Instead of a standard presidential blind trust, Trump parked his Trump Media shares in a revocable trust run by Donald Trump Jr – in other words, a blind trust where the only thing blind is the ethics office. As Yorkville America and Crypto.com shovel billions into Trump’s financial playground, the administration is busy helping out the new friends: a pardoned Binance ex-CEO after a $2bn investment, a conveniently paused SEC investigation into Justin Sun after he dropped $200m into Trump’s token, and a mysteriously vanished federal inquiry into Crypto.com right after Trump took office. But yes, the White House swears that "neither the president nor his family" will ever have conflicts of interest. Ever.
Meanwhile, Trump’s crypto arm, World Liberty Financial, is trying to become a federally regulated bank, prompting Elizabeth Warren to point out the obvious: this would make Trump the first president in US history to literally oversee his own financial institution. Ethics watchdogs are openly saying the quiet part out loud – that anyone who wants something from the government can just buy some Trump-branded financial products to signal loyalty. In other words, US foreign and domestic policy now comes with a prospectus and management fees. "America First" has finally been translated into its true meaning: America is first in line to buy the president’s bag.
#corruption#forever-grifting
trump to regulate netflix-warner deal, immediately invests in netflix-warner deal
Trump, bravely fighting corporate concentration by personally investing in the corporations he’s supposed to regulate.
Donald Trump looked at America’s antitrust laws, ethics rules, and that whole "not personally trading in stuff you’re about to regulate" norm and said: what if we just didn’t? Days after bragging he’d "be involved" in the government’s decision on the $82.7bn Netflix–Warner Bros Discovery merger, Trump went out and bought at least $1m in their bonds. Because nothing says "independent regulator" like literally buying a financial stake in the companies whose merger you’re about to review.
The White House disclosure shows four purchases in mid-December, just over a week after the deal was announced and right after Trump mused about their "very big market share" and promised he’d be part of the call on whether it goes through. Meanwhile, a rival $108.4bn hostile takeover bid from Paramount Skydance — backed by David and Larry Ellison, both very friendly with the Trump crowd — is also in the mix. So on one side, the president is personally invested in the target companies; on the other, his buddies are bankrolling the competing bid. Regulatory capture? No, no, this is regulatory arbitrage for friends and family.
An anonymous administration official insists Trump’s portfolio is "independently managed" and that neither he nor his family can "direct, influence, or provide input" on investments. In other words: it’s just a wild coincidence that the blind trust keeps clairvoyantly buying into firms whose fate is about to be decided by the guy who owns the trust. Meanwhile, critics like Elizabeth Warren and the Writers Guild are pointing out that the merger is an "anti-monopoly nightmare" that will kill jobs, crush wages, and jack up prices. But sure, let’s pretend the real concern here is consumer choice, not the president quietly loading up on bonds while he gets ready to play antitrust cop on his own portfolio.
#corruption#forever-grifting
versaille cosplay vs. trump tower: dc edition
Artist’s rendering of Trump’s new East Wing: half historical landmark, half casino banquet hall, 100% pay-to-play.
Donald Trump is very mad about government renovations — specifically the Federal Reserve’s multibillion-dollar building overhaul — while he is literally bulldozing a historic chunk of the White House to build himself a giant party room. Because nothing says fiscal responsibility like screaming about Jerome Powell’s construction budget while you personally go marble-shopping in Florida for your new thousand-seat presidential rave cave.
The Fed’s project, now over $2.4 billion, is being paid for by the Fed itself — not taxpayers — and involves boring things like asbestos, toxic soil, and agency reviews. Trump’s East Wing demolition, meanwhile, has already doubled from a $200 million ballroom to a $400 million ballroom, which he insists is still "under budget" because in Trump math, if the number is higher but he likes it more, that’s a savings.
The punchline: Trump swears his mega-ballroom is costing taxpayers "zero" because it’s funded by private donors — including Amazon, Apple, Google, Meta, and Comcast — many of whom are allowed to remain anonymous. In other words, the president is turning the White House into a luxury naming-rights project for corporations and mystery billionaires, and we’re just supposed to trust that no one’s buying influence, access, or policy. But sure, the real scandal is the Fed fixing asbestos in its basement while Trump builds Versailles on Pennsylvania Avenue with a secret donor list.
#corruption#forever-grifting#money
ai, burgers, and bribes: america’s finest buy a piece of trump
Trump signs an AI executive order while tech billionaires calculate the ROI on their latest $10 million 'conversation starter.'
Donald Trump enters his second decade as the main character of American decline, and suddenly a bunch of very rich people discover a deep, heartfelt commitment to…writing seven- and eight-figure checks to his super PAC. More than a dozen donors who had never come close to this level of political giving before 2024 are now dropping $1 million or more into MAGA Inc. — after Trump wins, while he’s governing, and exactly when their companies and families just happen to have major business, federal contracts, regulatory problems, or prison sentences on the line. But sure, this is all about “democracy” and “innovation.”
OpenAI president Greg Brockman and his wife each cut $12.5 million checks to MAGA Inc., right as Trump rolls out an AI agenda written on Palantir letterhead and an executive order preempting pesky state AI regulations. Brockman solemnly explains on X that this is about “responsible AI” and “constructive dialogue,” because nothing says responsible governance like quietly handing $25 million to the guy who just gave your industry everything it wanted by fiat. Palantir CEO Alexander Karp also suddenly finds $1 million for MAGA Inc. (on top of $1 million for the inaugural) while his surveillance company is hoovering up high-profile federal contracts, including for Trump’s immigrant-tracking obsession. In other words: the government cuts the checks, he cuts the checks, everyone’s happy — except the people being tracked.
Then there’s William Ford of General Atlantic, who casually bumps his giving from five figures to $1.25 million right before Trump takes office, while he sits on the board of ByteDance — the TikTok parent company that was supposed to be banned in the U.S. until Trump graciously delayed the hammer. Miraculously, ByteDance gets time to arrange a cushy American joint venture sale. Other new megadonors, like private equity guy Konstantin Sokolov and In‑N‑Out’s Lynsi Snyder‑Ellingson, join the fun, some with relatives staring down long federal prison sentences. And because this is America, all of this is technically legal: just a bunch of patriotic billionaires independently deciding to give life-changing sums to a president who just happens to control their contracts, regulations, and loved ones’ futures.
So no, this isn’t bribery, it’s just the free market in action: Trump sells access and policy, and the donor class finally stops pretending their money isn’t a down payment on government favors. Campaign finance reform is for suckers; real players just buy the presidency wholesale.
#corruption#forever-grifting
nothing says populism like a 400 million dollar white house ballroom
Artist’s rendering of the new White House ballroom, where ethics go to die under 40-foot ceilings paid for by anonymous billionaires.
The Trump White House has unveiled plans for its very own Versailles cosplay: a 20,000-square-foot, 40-foot-high, 1,000-seat ballroom grafted onto a brand-new 89,000-square-foot East Wing, because nothing says humble servant of the people like building yourself an indoor rally palace the size of a Costco. The project has already conveniently doubled in cost to about $400 million, but don't worry, it's "privately funded" by mystery donors who definitely aren't expecting anything in return from the sitting president.
In a fun little constitutional side quest, the administration already broke ground before submitting plans to the National Capital Planning Commission and without getting approval from Congress for building on federal parkland in D.C., which the National Trust for Historic Preservation points out is, minor detail, required by law. A judge declined to pause the construction, and now the plans are being reviewed by a board chaired by Trump staff secretary Will Scharf and stacked with Trump allies, because nothing screams "independent oversight" like letting the president’s own loyalists greenlight his $400 million ego bunker.
The new wing will come with a commercial-grade kitchen, streamlined guest entrance, and better delivery access to "reduce operational stress" on the historic building—in other words, the White House is being reengineered to function as a permanent Trump event space. Outside, activists protested; inside, corporate donors like Comcast (parent company of NBCUniversal) are on the list of top funders, though no one will say how much they gave. But sure, this is all just about "efficiency" and "symmetry," not about converting the seat of American democracy into a luxury venue for the Dear Leader’s next campaign fundraiser.
#corruption#forever-grifting
trump discovers bribery indictments are for party-switching, not crime
Trump explains that pardons are sacred instruments of justice, right up until the moment the recipient forgets to join his fan club.
Donald Trump pardoned Democratic Rep. Henry Cuellar on federal bribery, wire fraud, and money laundering charges — and is now endorsing a Republican to take Cuellar’s seat because the guy he rescued from a 28-count indictment had the audacity to keep the same party registration. In other words, the former president is openly explaining that the price of a pardon is not innocence, but fealty.
Trump is backing Webb County Judge Tano Tijerina, a former Democrat who did the traditional MAGA conversion ritual — switching parties live on Fox News — and is now "honored" to have Trump's support to "take South Texas back." Meanwhile, Cuellar is out here thanking Trump for the pardon like a hostage reading a prepared statement, while Trump rants on Truth Social that Cuellar's decision to run as a Democrat is an unforgivable act of "disloyalty" and that he "should not be allowed to serve in Congress again." Because nothing says "rule of law" like the guy who just wiped your alleged $600,000 bribery scheme demanding you change teams or get politically destroyed.
Trump even posted letters from Cuellar’s daughters begging for pardons for their parents, then used them as Exhibit A in his case that the Justice Department was mean and political, while he, the man trading clemency for loyalty, is somehow the guardian of justice. He insists he’d still pardon Cuellar again — he just wants him "beaten badly" at the ballot box now that he’s failed the loyalty exam. So yes, the president is flatly admitting that pardons are personal favors, elections are punishment tools, and party affiliation is the only crime that really matters — but sure, tell us again how this is all about "weaponization" of justice by someone else.
#corruption#forever-grifting#killing-democracy
