The Trump Presidency Timeline

Here we go again! As measles makes a glorious comeback, claiming lives and showcasing our incompetence in public health, it's almost as if the anti-vaxxers are throwing a victory party. The Texas outbreak serves as a grim reminder that greed and hypocrisy have left our children defenseless, while those in power feign concern and offer little more than well wishes and a couple of band-aids. The Secretary of HHS gallantly rallies the troops after the fact, failing to prevent a disaster because, hey, a child’s life isn’t as precious as his political future! It’s time for a wake-up call: we need real leaders who put public health above profits, not more empty promises and wishful thinking!

In a stunning display of not just negligence but sheer stupidity, Texas health officials have to warn the public that hosting "measles parties" is a bad idea—because apparently, letting your unvaccinated kids mingle with a lethal virus is now a social gathering option in the Lone Star State. As measles cases skyrocketed to 146, with one tragic death, one would think common sense would prevail; yet here we are, left to grapple with the reality that misinformation and blatant disregard for health are now mainstream. It seems like the best preventative measure against stupidity isn't just a vaccine—it's basic education. Meanwhile, let's give a round of sarcastic applause to the 50 kids who finally got vaccinated after realizing the party scene was less fun than hospitalization and isolation. Bravo, Texas, truly a stellar example of public health!

Welcome to the farcical far south, where Elon Musk's charade known as the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) is turning scientific research into a frozen wasteland of incompetence and malevolence. In a fit of bureaucratic lunacy, our esteemed government has opted to fire crucial Antarctic program managers while financing cuts threaten to bury decades of climate science deep under the snow. With their entire workforce hanging by a thread, scientists fear not just layoffs but a catastrophic brain drain as foreign nations eagerly snatch up America’s talent. Meanwhile, the absurdity of erasing gender-inclusive language on housing forms during an existential crisis is the cherry on top of this ideological sundae of stupidity. Perhaps we should dedicate some of that 'cleanest air on Earth' to clear the heads of those in charge—the future of our planet hangs in the balance while they play petty political games. God help Antarctica, and while we’re at it, God help us all.

RFK Jr., **Trump’s anti-vax Health Secretary,** just **downplayed a deadly measles outbreak in Texas,** brushing off the first U.S. child death from the disease in 22 years. Meanwhile, hospitals are **overflowing with unvaccinated kids,** and Texas counties with **sky-high vaccine exemption rates** are seeing outbreaks spread. But sure, let’s keep pretending **vaccines are the real problem.**

The administration’s war on science escalates as Trump’s executive orders gut the NIH, slashing funding, freezing research, and firing scientists—because why invest in life-saving medical advancements when you can hand out tax cuts? Top researchers warn these moves will delay treatments for cancer, Alzheimer’s, and diabetes, with some bluntly stating they “will kill.” Grants are now tied up in bureaucratic chaos, hiring has stopped, and review boards can’t even meet to approve new research. Meanwhile, the administration is so committed to slashing jobs that it accidentally fired key scientists working on the avian flu outbreak… and then tried to un-fire them. Brilliant leadership.

In a move that defies both logic and compassion, the Trump administration, with Elon Musk at the helm of health policy, has gutted the National Institutes of Health's Center for Alzheimer's and Related Dementias (CARD). Firing approximately 10% of its workforce, including the incoming director, Kendall Van Keuren-Jensen—a leading researcher in early disease detection—this decision jeopardizes critical advancements in Alzheimer's research. As millions of Americans grapple with this devastating disease, the administration's actions signal a reckless disregard for scientific progress and public health. Apparently, dismantling essential medical research is the new frontier in 'innovation.'

CDC’s top lab fellows just got the boot, because who needs disease experts? While Trump’s administration backtracked on firing the CDC’s Epidemic Intelligence Service trainees after public backlash, they quietly axed at least 15 out of 21 fellows from the Laboratory Leadership Service—scientists who specialize in public health lab work. These are the people who track deadly viruses, build outbreak response labs, and, you know, help prevent pandemics. The official reason? They “do not fit the agency’s current needs,” which, given the administration’s allergy to science, sounds about right. Meanwhile, a communications gag order means some of these experts couldn’t even finish critical projects—like developing a test for an emerging virus in Florida—before they were kicked to the curb. Because nothing says ‘America First’ like gutting public health while pretending it’s about efficiency.

Congratulations, Gaines County! With 18% of kindergartners unvaccinated, you've managed to bring back a disease we literally had under control decades ago. Now, thanks to some people's deep commitment to doing their own research, measles cases are exploding, hospitalizing kids and endangering everyone. Who could have predicted this? (Oh right, every scientist and doctor ever.) But don’t worry—health officials are begging people to get vaccinated after the outbreak started. Bold strategy. Let’s see if it works out.

Trump’s Budget: Making America Dumb Again
The National Science Foundation is about to get the budgetary equivalent of a guillotine, with cuts as deep as 66% in Trump’s upcoming proposal. The agency, responsible for funding critical scientific research, could see its budget slashed from $9 billion to $3 billion, leaving entire fields—like astronomy and Antarctic research—scrambling for scraps. Meanwhile, incoming budget director Russ Vought, who previously advocated for similar cuts, claims NSF needs to stop "propagandizing for woke ideology"—because, obviously, the real threat to America isn’t falling behind in global scientific leadership, it’s... research. Scientists are already bracing for mass layoffs, but hey, at least China will appreciate the handout.